Well Done
By Evelyn Grosvenor-Smythe

DEAR DAME EVELYN , I would like to know what the difference is between "French roast" and "Italian roast" coffees. If any. I was waiting in line at my favorite coffee purveyor the other day and found myself studying the various kinds of beans, which are displayed in windowed bins beneath the countertop – you know what I mean, I'm sure. The French and Italian beans were in adjoining bins, and to my eye they looked exactly the same. I know the difference is in the roast, not the beans themselves – I think. Or is it? And what is it? I know this is just a bit of trivia, but it's a holiday weekend, and I haven't got anything better to do, and I'm curious. And I like coffee and drink it all the time (maybe too much), so I'm a party in interest, as my lawyer boyfriend would probably say – but that's another story.

Bin There

Dearest, Dame Evelyn loves all stories, even those involving lawyers. She particularly likes lawyer jokes – but that's another story. As to your question about coffee: it raises an interesting point, which is that there is no meaningful difference between Italian and French roasts. Those terms vary from roaster to roaster and have no actual meaning. Well, perhaps no actual meaning is a bit harsh; they are both dark roasts, after all. For some roasters, French is darkest; for others, Italian is. Dame Evelyn tends to think "French roast" when thinking of extremely dark-roasted coffee; for eons the French got much of their coffee from their west African colonies, including what is today Niger, and because most of that coffee was robusta – and so of relatively poor quality – it was roasted dark to impart some character and flavor. In whimsical moments, Dame Evelyn likes to call this sort of coffee "bituminous blend." Then she goes right ahead and drinks it down.

Robustly,

E. G.-S.

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Contact Evelyn Grosvenor-Smythe at dame.evelyn@comcast.net.