Heavens to Betsy
Local comedy writer and stand-up comedian Betsy Salkind is a novel dose of funny on the national stage.

By Larry Roberts

STAND-UP comedy? Forget the usual stereotypes. Betsy Salkind is an articulate comedy writer with the talent for a well-crafted line, and she can put an audience in hysterics without uttering a word. This local girl has appeared on Comedy Central, HBO, and The Tonight Show, served as a staff writer for Roseanne, and appeared on numerous comic stages throughout the United States. But what her audience wants is "Squirrel!" – her best-loved and most memorable animal impression, a piece of stage shtick not seen since the days of vaudeville. "I love to work in silence, which is not traditional stand-up," she says. But while Salkind may be silent, the audience certainly isn't.

Salkind used to perform at Josie's Cabaret and Juice Joint, a Castro-based venue that featured gay comedy and was the launching pad for many queer comedians. Comparing this heyday of the gay-comedy scene to the present day, she points out that now there are more out comics working in mainstream clubs. Also, identity politics have changed. "For a long time there was no such thing as a bisexual, or if there was, you couldn't talk about it 'cause you'd be shunned by everybody. And now I don't think that's so true."

Recently, Salkind has reinvented herself yet again, playing the part of a ventriloquist's dummy named Peanut to towering puppeteer (and fellow performer) Dot Jones. Their act begins with Jones carrying Peanut onstage rigid under her arm, dressed in a tight suit and bow tie. The prim puppeteer proceeds to interact with the foul-mouthed mock mannequin who makes Charlie McCarthy look like an angel. Though Jones moves her lips, Salkind supplies the voice of Peanut. The pseudo-ventriloquist act combines Salkind's penchant for physical and verbal comedy.

Salkind floats somewhere between traditional stand-up and performance art – what she does could be called "performance comedy." Her monologues include cultural and political references that are more erudite than the usual sitcom-level morass of mainstream club stand-up. Her performance has disdain for the clichés of the form.

Salkind feels that queers are a perfect audience for her material. "When I work in front of a gay audience, that's heaven for me, because there's nothing I can say that the audience is not going to want me to talk about. They're willing to go with me to places that are dark and uncomfortable." Like where? "My new material is about Iraq and Christian music and Hooters." She knows her audience can appreciate the kitsch and irony. "What I love about an audience of people who are basically not invested in the status quo is that they have no problem with me making fun of it."

Salkind likes offbeat crowds and venues, but she's no stranger to mainstream clubs. She's a regular at the Comedy Store in Los Angeles and has her name on the wall. Her forthcoming comedy CD was recorded live at that club, and her next gig there, with Julie Goldman, takes place Aug. 25.

Urban, progressive audiences may be Salkind's ideal, but that's not always what she gets when she performs. "Sometimes you deal with politically conservative audiences," she says. "I played at a hotel in Modesto, and they were so offended by me that they fired the person who hired me. And believe me, I completely toned down my act, expecting them to be somewhat conservative." She adds confidently, "If I had known that that was going to be the outcome, I would have gone for broke."

Salkind has a busy schedule in the next few months. She's hosting the Russian River Resort comedy competition Aug. 21 (which she won last year) and has an appearance at this fall's "George Bush Going-Away Party" political comedy show put together by Kung Pao Kosher Comedy's Lisa Geduldig. She would also like to do a Bay Area production of her solo show, Anne Frank Superstar, at some point in the future, and she's producing comedy benefits for the child protection group Protect. In November she's performing for her first Olivia Cruise which, ironically, will be land-based. If you can't get enough Salkind until then, check out her Web site, www.betsysalkind.com.

Although Salkind has worked as a writer for TV and is determined to get her own sitcom concept produced, she says she would never stop performing live. "It's like going to the gym. I have to do it. It's just a necessity."

Having dispensed with the usual tropes of stand-up comedy, Salkind is a unique performer who makes an audience gasp with laughter at her offbeat style. Her audiences, gay and straight, can expect a good stand-up show without the usual trappings, but with the silent and subtle twitch of an imaginary squirrel whisker.