Irving Berlin's White Christmas Curran Theatre, 445 Geary; 512-7770, www.bestofbroadwaysf.com. $30-85. Previews Wed/3-Sat/6, 8pm (also Wed/3 and Sat/6, 2pm); Sun/7, 2pm. Opens Tues/9, 7pm. Runs Tues-Sat, 8pm (also Wed, Sat, Nov 26, and Dec 23, 2pm; no shows Nov 24-25 and Dec 24; no 2pm show Dec 25); Sun, 2pm (also Nov 28 and Dec 26, 7:30pm). Through Dec 26. Best of Broadway presents a new musical based on the classic holiday film.

Murder at the Howard Johnson's Shelton Theatre, 533 Sutter; www.mysticbison.com. $15-25. Previews Thurs/4-Fri/5, 8pm. Opens Sat/6, 8pm. Runs Thurs-Sat, 8pm (no show Nov 25). Through Nov 27. Mystic Bison Theatre and Dance performs Ron Clark and Sam Bobrick's screwball comedy.

'Significant Others' New Conservatory Theatre Center, 25 Van Ness; 861-8972. $20-40 (Nov 11, pay what you can). Previews Fri/5-Sat/6 and Nov 12, 8pm; Sun/7, 2pm. Opens Nov 13, 8pm. Runs Wed-Sat, 8pm (no show Nov 25); Nov 21, 28, Dec 5, and 12, 2pm. Through Dec 12. New Conservatory Theatre Center performs five one-act gay romances by Tom W. Kelly.

Tell Me You Love Me Space 049, 423 Tehama; 255-8851, www.bittersauce.com. $15 (Thurs, pay what you can). Opens Thurs/4, 8pm. Runs Thurs-Sat, 8pm. Through Nov 20. Bitter Sauce Theatre performs the world premiere of Jack Karp's drama about four New York City friends whose relationships change after 9/11.

When You Comin' Back, Red Ryder Next Stage, 1620 Gough; 333-6389, www.wehavemet.org. $20 (previews, pay what you can). Previews Sat/6-Tues/9, 8pm. Opens Thurs/11, 8pm. Runs Thurs-Sat, 8pm (no show Nov 25; Dec 4 show at 2pm, not 8pm). Through Dec 11. Multi Ethnic Theater performs Mark Medoff's drama about five people held hostage in a small-town diner.

Bay Area
Meanwhile, Back at the Super Lair La Val's Subterranean Theatre, 1834 Euclid, Berk; (510) 464-4468, www.impacttheatre.com. $10-15 (Thurs, pay what you can). Opens Fri/5, 8pm. Runs Thurs-Sat, 8pm (no show Nov 25). Through Dec 11. Impact Theatre performs Greg Kalleres's comedy about a crew of "not-so-superheroes" called on to fight twin forces of evil.

Ongoing
*Addicted ... a Comedy of Substance Marine's Memorial Theatre, 609 Sutter; 771-6900, www.marinesmemorialtheatre.com. $25-40. Extended run: Wed-Fri, 8pm; Sat, 5 and 9pm (Nov 13, show at 2pm instead of 5pm); Sun, 2pm. Through Nov 14. This is a must-see for anyone who's ever been addicted to anything: this dude feels your pain. Writer-performer and stand-up comedian Mark Lundholm's very funny and genuinely amazing story draws on the Bay Area native's long slide from a spastic childhood in front of the TV set into a self-annihilating adulthood of crime, drug abuse, absent fatherhood, and homelessness. If his high-energy, razor-sharp performance and flawless timing seem to belie the notion of a guy utterly lacking in self-control, it just underscores the significance of Lundholm's narrative and its real-life transformation. Broadway and cinema's Bob Balaban directs this agile multicharacter one-man show, which makes excellent use of lighting and sound effects to support the already vivid voices in Lundholm's head. Alternately suggesting the funniest Alcoholics Anonymous speech ever, the sickest and slickest motivational talk around, and a 3D jailbreak from the pages of a Robert Crumb comic, Lundholm's charisma and candor have a freshness that can make old subjects – like the pointlessness of a triple decaf anything – seem brand-new and the less-charted terrain of the serious addict disarmingly close to home. (Avila)

*'Avant GardARAMA!' Exit Theatre, 156 Eddy; 419-3584. $15-25. Fri-Sat, 8pm. Through Nov 20. Cutting Ball Theater's five-playlet sample pack of experimental theater matches rarely seen work by masters Richard Foreman, Heiner Müller, Suzan-Lori Parks, and Mac Wellman with artistic director Rob Melrose's own worthy contribution, Helen of Troy. The evening begins with Fighter Airplanes, a more than convincing channeling of Foreman's dreamlike style (based on a section of the playwright's notebooks), which makes the most sensible nonsense out of two war-bent jumbo jets being interrogated by a couple of sexy French stewardesses with a pacifist bent. Among the many highlights of the evening is Jaxy Boyd's terrific monologue in Parks's Pickling, the story of an African American woman who's learned the art of preservation maybe a little too well. Melrose's attentive and insightful direction brings out the specific contours of each play, producing a lively and interesting assortment of themes and styles underscored by Michael Locher's beautifully apt scenic flourishes, Cliff Caruthers's excellently wrought soundscapes, and solid work by a charismatic ensemble (featuring Boyd, James S. Craft, Danielle O'Hare, Ryan Oden, Jessa Santens, and David Sinaiko). (Avila)

Awe about Eve Theatre Rhinoceros, 2926 16th St; 861-5079, www.therhino.org. $15-25. Wed-Sat, 8pm; Sun, 3:30 and 7:30pm. Through Nov 14. Matthew Martin stars as diva Margo Channing in this return engagement of John Fisher's comedy.

Ben Franklin: Unplugged Magic Theatre, Fort Mason Center, Marina at Laguna; 441-8822, www.zspace.org. $25-30. Wed-Sat, 8pm (also Sat, 3pm; no show Nov 25); Sun, 3pm (also Nov 28, 7pm). Through Nov 28. Monologuist Josh Kornbluth's segue from autobiography into the life of the prince of autobiographers ends up, of course, being yet another approach to his own story – especially as it concerns his communist father – first broached in Red Diaper Baby. This time, however, the relationship with his "un-American" father develops as a clever parallel and contrast to the filial saga behind "first American" and founding father Ben Franklin (to whom Kornbluth finds he bears an uncanny resemblance, a coincidence that launches a short-lived career as a Franklin impersonator and an even shorter one as a Franklin scholar impersonator). Set in Annie Smart's comfy kitchen, where Kornbluth keeps busy making himself lunch and doing little things about the house, this collaboration with director David Dower has a more theatrical (i.e., vaguely Mister Rogers' Neighborhood-like) feel to it than your standard standup or sit-down monologue, and though Kornbluth's famously emphatic delivery can be too emphatic at times, the consistently amusing history lesson gets progressively involving – in fact, Kornbluth is at his best here when delivering what's essentially a smoothly executed lecture on the tortuous tale of Ben and William Franklin, a story that loops back to his own in a fashion both supple and compelling. (Avila)

Cicada Exit Stage Left, 156 Eddy; 289-2249, www.ripetreats.com. $15-20 sliding scale. Thurs-Sat, 8pm. Through Nov 20. Rational Irrational Planet Earth Theatre presents the world premiere of a self-developed work about "inactive activism."

Circumnavigator Marsh, 1062 Valencia; 826-5750, www.themarsh.org. $10-14. Extended run: Thurs-Sat, 7pm. Through Nov 13. Dan Hoyle's solo performance is his travelogue of a 2002 around-the-world trip financed by a grant from the Circumnavigator Club to study the impact of globalization. The traveler's young and inquisitive mind, however, lends the enterprise a personal cast, interrogating his own assumptions as an activist and the child of a '60s-era socialist in light of the social complexities he encounters. Directed by veteran monologuist Charlie Varon, Hoyle draws his characters skillfully, with much humor and implicit compassion. (Avila)

'Director's Cut: A Feast of One-Page Plays' Phoenix Theater, 414 Mason, sixth fl; 386-2373, theatreabydos@aol.com. $20-25. Thurs/4-Sat/6, 8pm. Abydos Theater presents "20 plays done 30 ways."

Disney's The Lion King Orpheum Theatre, 1192 Market; 512-7770, 356-LION, www.bestofbroadway-sf.com. $26-82. Extended run: Wed-Sat, 8pm (also Wed and Sat, 2pm); Sun, 1 and 6:30pm. Through Nov 21. Apparently director and designer Julie Taymor didn't win those Tonys for nothing. The Bay Area premiere of her staged interpretation of Disney's The Lion King, courtesy of Best of Broadway, works so well you're liable to forgive the residual Disney that clings to this singular spectacle. The plot – a lion cub grows up in exile until he can assume his rightful place on the usurped throne of his late father – must be familiar to nearly everyone by now; the characters are the stock ones recycled by Disney. They're animated, however, by a superb cast. (Avila)

*Don't Make Me Look Too Psychotic 533 Sutter; 820-3945, www.toopsychotic.net. $22. Fri-Sat, 8pm. Through Nov 27. Violently unhealthy relationships are the driving force behind Bruce Pachtman's hilarious solo show, which he developed after dating a particularly incendiary woman. Psychotic – which enjoyed a 68-week local run after premiering in 2000 and is now back for a brief revival run – is gut-bustingly funny, which is no small feat considering the seriousness of the material. (Joshua Medsker)

Ella! First Lady of Song Shelton Theater, 533 Sutter; (510) 232-3522. $15. Sat, 10pm. Ongoing. Jamie Myrick stars in this multimedia jazz production paying tribute to Ella Fitzgerald.

Fist of Roses Intersection for the Arts, 446 Valencia; 626-3311, www.theintersection.org. $9-15. Thurs-Sun and Nov 22, 8pm. Through Nov 22. Intersection + Campo Santo presents the world premiere of Philip Kan Gotanda's exploration of violence in relationships.

*High School Galileo Academy of Science and Technology, 1150 Francisco; 1-877-316-0198, www.antenna-theater.org/highschool.htm. $7.50-15. Fri/5-Sat/6, 6-9:30pm; Sun/7, 1:30-5pm. People are fond of saying that in life we go through birth and death alone, but have they forgotten about high school? That's just the way you'll experience it in famed Sausalito-based Antenna Theater's fascinating environmental piece staged in collaboration with San Francisco's Galileo Academy. One by one the audience heads off on a 45-minute guided audio tour of the large multiethnic school, while in his or her headset the voices of students mingle with music and sounds of the school day to give each visitor the hot poop on getting by at Galileo, as well as the candid perspectives of today's teenagers on life as they know it. Incorporating student actors – plus masked or cutout caricatures of students, teachers, administrators, and other school denizens – the effect is a kind of out-of-body student body experience that'll bring back memories even as it bridges the specific experiences of one generation of institutionalized adolescents with another. Antenna has been creating site-specific experiential theater since 1980, and this production – created by artistic director Chris Hardman, written by David Torgersen, and directed by John Warren – reworks its 1981-82 version at Tamalpais High as part of the company's ongoing High School Project. Envisioned as a series of in-school residencies across the state and country, it's community outreach as exceptional theater. (Avila)

The King of San Francisco New Langton Arts, 1246 Folsom; thunderkiss_tix@hotmail.com. $10-15. Thurs-Sun, 8pm. Through Nov 14. Thunderkiss Productions presents Boaz Reisman's original rock opera.

Looking over the President's Shoulder Lorraine Hansberry Theatre, 620 Sutter; 474-8800, www.lhtsf.org. $25-32. Thurs/4-Sat/6, 8pm; Sun/7, 2pm. Winston Churchill liked to swim in the nude; Eleanor Roosevelt's nickname was Alice in Wonderland; Herbert Hoover always wore a tux to dinner, even when he dined alone. In James Still's fascinating play based on a true story, Alonzo Fields – an African American wannabe opera singer who unwittingly finds himself serving first families their breakfasts, lunches, and dinners for more than 21 years – reveals tidbits that only the chief butler to four generations of American presidents would know. The play is more than a juicy gossip column about presidential peccadilloes, and Reggie Life's seamless staging and Larry Marshall's sincere performance bring its subtle social and political commentary, as well as the story of its selfless but strong protagonist, to the fore. Elections come and go, and the portrait hanging above the fireplace on Anita Stewart and Jedd de Lucia's set gradually changes from Hoover to Roosevelt to Truman to Eisenhower, but Fields represents a microcosm of unwavering humanity "in the front row of the passing parade of history." (Veltman)

*Not a Genuine Black Man Marsh, 1062 Valencia; 826-5750. $15-22. Extended run: Thurs-Fri, 8:30pm (no show Nov 25); starting Nov 13, also runs Sat, 5pm. Through Nov 27. What, the unapologetically middle-class Brian Copeland asks, is the real meaning behind the phrase, "a genuine black man"? By way of an answer, the stand-up comic and KGO radio host offers up a simultaneously funny and disarmingly frank story about growing up African American in the racist suburb that was San Leandro in the early 1970s. Letting his narrative bounce back and forth between his boyhood memories and a period of depression that overtook him as a parent in 1999 – and interlarding the autobiography with verbatim utterances from both sides of the fight his family joined to desegregate the city – Copeland brings admirable chops as a comedian to bear on some difficult and disturbing, if ultimately hopeful, material. (Avila)

Oleanna San Francisco Performing Arts Library and Museum, 401 Van Ness; 248-9371, www.expressiontheatre.net. $10-15. Thurs-Sat, 8pm. Through Nov 20. Expression Theatre Ensemble performs David Mamet's provocative drama.

The Real Thing Geary Theater, 415 Geary; 749-2228, www.act-sf.org. $11-68. Wed/3-Sat/6, Nov 9-13, 16-17, and 18-20, 8pm (also Wed/3, Sat/6, Nov 13, 17, and 20, 2pm); Sun/7, Nov 14, and 21, 2pm (also Nov 14, 7pm). Through Nov 21. American Conservatory Theater performs Tom Stoppard's love story about a playwright, married to an actor, whose latest work imitates his real life.

69 Stories: One Pervert's Tale and No Good Deed Exit on Taylor, 277 Taylor; 675-5995, www.crowdedfire.org. $15-20 (separate admission for each play; Mon/8, pay what you can). 69 Stories: Fri and Mon/8, 8pm. Through Nov 12. No Good Deed: Sat, 8pm. Through Nov 13. Crowded Fire presents two monologues in repertory by company member Mollena Williams. Artistic director Rebecca Novick helms 69 Stories: One Pervert's Tale, originally mounted in 2001, in which the brassy and fearlessly all-telling Williams invites us on a submissive masochist's very personal tour of the San Francisco S-M community. Dressed in a purple gown and yellow feather boa, with her hair bleached white and a penchant for singing classic songs with amusingly self-tailored lyrics, Williams, who has a charmingly forthcoming nature, ensures her seductive lesson in erotic play draws its real force from the fact that we're never allowed to lose sight of the simple human heart at the center of the outré sexual adventurer. In the premiere of a prequel called No Good Deed, directed by Amy Mueller, Williams re-creates her greater Bay Area past – replete with lesser suburban routines – living across from a Concord cow patch while working as a customer service rep for Wells Fargo Bank. Life for the gregarious New York City native takes its pivotal turn when she's unexpectedly charged by a coworker with sexual harassment and thrown into a maelstrom of loneliness and self-doubt. Looser in construction and less engaging than 69 Stories, it still manages to have us rooting for Williams's inner nonconformist. (Avila)

Train Stories Marsh, 1062 Valencia; 826-5750, www.themarsh.org. $15-22. Thurs/4-Sat/6, 8pm. Wayne Harris performs his solo show about three men linked by heritage, railroads, and tragedy.

Two Fools Theatre Rhinoceros, 2926 16th St; 861-5079, www.therhino.org. $15-28. Wed-Sat, 8pm; Sun, 2 and 7pm. Through Nov 21. Theatre Rhinoceros performs Terry Baum's tale of a lesbian couple – one American, one Costa Rican – who struggle with each other and with immigration laws.

V the Ultimate Variety Show V Theater, Pier 39; 39-VSHOW, www.vtheshow.com. $24-44. Nightly, 6 and 8pm. Ongoing. A revolving array of variety acts highlight this family-friendly show originally produced in Las Vegas.

Va Va Voom Room Plush Room, York Hotel, 940 Sutter; 885-2800, www.vavavoomroom.com. $25. Fri-Sat, 11pm. Through Dec 18. Performers from San Francisco, New York City, and Los Angeles present a burlesque and vaudeville cabaret.

*Welcome to the Hypnodrome Hypnodrome, 575 10th St; 248-1900, www.hypnodrome.com. $18-50. Thurs-Sat, 8pm. Through Nov 20. Tucked away under a dark overpass in the nether regions of SoMa, the theater at 575 10th St. is the perfect setting for Welcome to the Hypnodrome, a gleefully unhinged evening of early 20th-century French kitsch. In The Beast, an adaptation of L'homme nu (1928), by Charles Méré, ketchup flies when an injured traveler finds himself caught between an austere Austrian count, his crazy wife, and their frightening secret. The burlesque Bearded Assets, adapted from Madame Aurelie (1909), by Yves Mirande, provides light relief with the discovery of a circus performer's amazing new talent on Victor Hugo's funeral day. Meanwhile, in the claustrophobic melodrama Murder of the Will, based on Maurice Renard's L'amant de la morte (1925), a lovesick hypnotist (intensely personified by Brian Raffi) attempts to exert his will on the wife of his best friend, with tragic results. Featuring the luminous Jill Tracy, and Bob Taxin in multi-dexterous form, Thrillpeddlers brings ghoulish aplomb to Grand Guignol. (Veltman)

Bay Area
Eurydice Berkeley Rep's Thrust Stage, 2025 Addison, Berk; (510) 647-2949, www.berkeleyrep.org. $10-55. Tues, Thurs-Sat, 8pm (also Sat, 2pm); Wed and Sun, 7pm (also Sun, 2pm). Through Nov 14. Berkeley Rep presents playwright Sarah Ruhl's winsome reworking of the Orpheus-Eurydice myth, which places the doomed young bride (Maria Dizzia) at the center of competing loyalties to an earthbound lover (Daniel Talbott) and a deceased father (Charles Shaw Robinson). Dizzia excels at Eurydice as a bright young mind whose curiosity leads to her own earthly ruin, via a ludicrous but creepy stranger who turns out to be the lord of the Underworld (Mark Zeisler). Still, her trace of good-natured skepticism opposite Talbott's everyguy Orpheus – an anti-intellectual, passionately romantic musician (they're a pretty Cartesian couple) – hints at a wise old soul underneath. And underneath is just where it blossoms, as Eurydice acquaints herself as if for the first time with the father who has willed back his memory in the land meant for forgetting (a fact emphatically underscored by a comical chorus of Stones, played by Aimee Guillot, Ramiz Monsef, and T. Edward Webster). The production is clever and fresh rather than profound, and director Les Waters adroitly pilots it down a wistfully romantic stream – a course fully justified by Scott Bradley's achingly lovely scenic design (in which the River Styx is an elevator full of rain opening onto a Hades as airy Roman bath). (Avila)

Ghost in the Machine APE Space, 2525 Eighth St, Berk; (510) 332-1931. $5-20. Fri/5-Sat/6, 8pm; Sun/7, 7pm. Acme Players Ensemble presents David Gilman's brain-teasing drama.

Present Laughter Live Oak Theater, 1301 Shattuck, Berk; (510) 649-5999, www.aeofberkeley.org. $10. Fri-Sat and Nov 18, 8pm; Nov 14, 2pm. Throgh Nov 20. The company performs Noël Coward's comedy.

'Smorgasbord of Shorts' Rocking Chairs 100%, 850 Fourth St, San Rafael; (415) 454-2787, www.altertheater.org. $20. Fri/5-Sat/6, 8pm; Sun/7, 5:30pm. Alternative Theater Ensemble presents its first production, four short plays (three by local writers).

A Step Away Berkeley City Club, 2315 Durant, Berk; (510) 558-1381. $8-20. Thurs-Sat, 8pm; Sun, 5pm. Through Nov 21. Central Works performs Myrna Holden's new play about modern love.

dance
'African Dance and Drum Festival' African American Art and Culture Complex, 762 Fulton; 921-8234. Thurs-Sun, various times. $15-20. A full slate of classes and performances (by Senegalese dancer-musicians Assane and Ousseynou Kouyate, Fri, 8pm), as well as an African marketplace, comprise this festival.

Alonzo King's Lines Ballet Yerba Buena Center for the Arts Theater, 700 Howard; 978-2787, www.ybca.org. Fri-Sat and Nov 10-11, 8pm; Sun/7, 7pm; Nov 14, 2pm. Through Nov 14. $20-50. See 8 Days a Week.

Chitresh Das Dance Company Cowell Theater, Fort Mason Center, Marina at Laguna; 345-7575, www.ticketweb.com. Thurs-Sat, 8pm. $18-27. See Critic's Choice.

Chris Black/Potrzebie Dance Project, Fellow Travelers Performance Group ODC Theater, 3153 17th St; 863-9834, www.odctheater.org. Thurs-Sat, 8pm. $15. This program – dubbed "An Evening of Heaven and Hell" – features choreography by Chris Black (The Ecstasy of Saint Whatshername) and Ken James (Warning Signs).

Jenice Acosta Movers Dance Mission Theater, 3316 24th St; 273-4633. Fri-Sun and Nov 11, 8pm. Through Nov 14. $18. The company performs Bearing Fruit, with guest artists Bliss Kohlmyer Dowman, Lisa Townsend (Nov 5-7), and EmSpace Dance (Nov 11-14).

Leslie Seiters/Little Known Dance Company 848 Community Space, 848 Divisadero; 664-1741. Thurs-Sat, 8pm. $12-15. The company performs its first evening-length work, The Way to Disappear.

KT Nelson ODC Theater, 3153 17th St; 863-9834, www.odcdance.org. Mon, 7pm. $18. As part of the "ODC/unplugged" series, the choreographer and ODC co-artistic director presents a new work, Lost at Sea.

Bay Area
Bolshoi Ballet Zellerbach Hall, Bancroft at Telegraph, UC Berkeley, Berk; (510) 642-9988, www.calperfs.berkeley.edu. Program A: Wed-Thurs, 8pm. Program B: Fri-Sat, 8pm (also Sat, 2pm); Sun, 3pm. $48-110. See 8 Days a Week.

Nguyen Dance Company Julia Morgan Center for the Arts, 2640 College, Berk; (925) 798-1300, www.dannydancers.com. Sat, 8pm; Sun, 2pm. $10-15. The company performs Close to the Trai Tim (Close to the Heart), with live music.

'Tap Dogs Rebooted' Marin Veteran's Memorial Auditorium, Avenue of the Flags at Civic Center, San Rafael; (415) 499-6800. Fri, 8pm. $20-60. The theatrical tap dance show returns, with two female dancers added to its previously all-male lineup.

Theatre Flamenco Mountain View Center for the Performing Arts, 500 Castro, Mtn View; (650) 903-6000. Sat, 8pm. $26-30. (Also Nov 27, 8pm, Cowell Theater, Fort Mason Center, Marina at Laguna, SF. $26-37.50. 415-345-7575, www.ticketweb.com). The company honors "the art of masculine flamenco" with Abanicos, featuring guest artists from Spain.

performance
'African Dance and Drum Festival' Buriel Clay Theater, 762 Fulton St; www.celebrateclitoris.com. Fri, 9pm. $15-20. Global Women Intact presents an evening of African song, dance, and performance.

'The Almost True Adventures of an Ex-Mormon Stripper' Dark Room Theater, 2263 Mission; 401-7987, www.darkroomsf.com. Fri, 8pm; Sat, 2 and 8pm; Sun, 2 and 7pm, $10. Heidi Wohland performs her sacrilegious multimedia show.

BATS Improv Bayfront Theater, Fort Mason Center, Bldg B, third fl, Marina at Laguna; 474-8935, www.improv.org. Fri-Sat, 8pm: "2-on-2 Theatresports," $12. Sun, 8pm: "Theatresports Turkey Tourney," $8.

Climate Theater 285 Ninth St; 863-1076. Ongoing. $5. Mon, 8pm: "Monday Night Improv Jam," presented by the San Francisco Improv Co-Operative. Tues, 8pm: "Tuesday Night Improv Special: Night of 1,000 Games," short-form improv jam.

'Comedy on the Square' Shelton Theatre, 533 Sutter; 522-8900. Ongoing. $15. Fri, 10pm: "Big City Improv." Sat, 10pm: "Comedy Showcase." Sun, 3 and 7pm: "A Celebration of Laughs."

'Doin' Time in the Homo No Mo Halfway House' Freedom in Christ Church, 601 Dolores; 286-7751, www.homonomo.com. Sat, 7pm, $10-15. Peterson Toscano presents his humorous play about surviving the ex-gay movement.

'Freefall' Shotwell Studios, 3252-A 19th St; 289-2000, www.ftloose.org. Fri-Sat, 8pm. $10-15, sliding scale. Through Nov 13. Nina Wise performs an improvised piece.

*Golden State Brava Theater Center, 2871 24th St; 869-3736. Fri-Sun, 8pm. $15-17. In Dell'Arte's glittering gem of a farce, the limits of greed and lust loaf around a southern California swimming pool, built mirage-like on a cultural and emotional desert of unquenchable desire. The premiere of Lauren Wilson's very funny 21st-century adaptation of The Miser – with its frenetic charm, strong female characters, ethnic and class-based pecking order, and apocalyptic gloom borne along by Santa Ana winds – is Molière by way of Nathaniel West and Pedro Almodóvar. Founding artistic director Joan Schirle plays the title character as an avaricious old widow, dressed like Mrs. Roper and sounding a lot like Shelly Winters, who slakes her perpetual thirst for money with a scheme to sell off her grown-up, not to say messed-up, children, Cubby (Tyler Olsen) and Sylvia (Barbara Geary). But turning their lazy asses into liquid assets won't be easy, since Cubby and Sylvia have designs of their own, all of which stirs up trouble among the two maids (Keight Gleason and Berni Sabath), Chilean handyman (David Escobedo), and flamboyant physical therapist (Tim Cunningham), who form a lusty food chain of wage slaves and gold-diggers. Michael Fields directs the sharp and lithesome resident ensemble in a production that takes wonderful advantage of the company's unique brand of physical theater. (Avila)

'The Hybrid Project' Intersection for the Arts, 446 Valencia; 626-2787, www.theintersection.org. Tues, 8pm, $5-15. Ten of QUAD, DJ Denizen, Keath Pinto, Steamroller dance company, and others present a multi-genre performance project, which includes hip-hop and dance.

'The Nutshell' Off-Market Theater, 965 Mission; www.cafearts.com. Mon, 8pm, donations accepted. CAFE presents a workshop production of playwright Trevor Allen's new work.

Off-Market Theater and Studio 965 Mission; 896-6477, www.cafearts.com. Wed, 8pm: "Zeppelin Beach," a singing improv contest, $5. Thurs, 8pm: "Improv Revolution," improv show, $10.

'Other People's Money' Randall Museum Theatre, 199 Museum Way; www.sffct.org. Wed-Sat, 7:30; Sun, 3pm. Free. San Francisco Free Civic Theatre presents Jerry Sterner's 1989 play about Wall Street power.

'Oui Be Negroes: Improvadelic' Climate Theater, 285 Ninth St; 863-1076. Fri-Sat, 8pm. Through Nov 24. $10. The sketch comedy troupe performs.

'Pipe Dreams' Bindlestiff Studio, 505 Natoma; 255-0440, www.bindlestiffstudio.org. Thurs-Sat, 8pm. $7-12 sliding scale. Playwrights Samantha Chanse and Dan Weil chase rock-star dreams amid election-year chaos.

'Purvis' Intersection for the Arts, 446 Valencia; 626-2787, www.theintersection.org. Mon, 7:30pm. $5-15. Theater company Campo Santo performs a new work created in collaboration with author Denis Johnson.

'The Sam Shaw Show' Dark Room Theater, 2263 Mission; 863-1076, www.sfimprovcooperative.com. Sun, 8pm. $10. Sam Shaw performs improv comedy.

'tempOdyssey' Traveling Jewish Theatre, 470 Florida; 1-866-468-3879. Fri-Sat, 8pm. Donations accepted. foolsFURY presents Dan Dietz's work-in-progress play.

'Til Friday' Club Rendezvous, 1312 Polk; 309-CLUB. Fri, 10:30pm and midnight. Ongoing. Free. Cockatelia, Holotta Tymes, Manley Lennox, Sofondaboyz, and weekly guest stars tear up the stage at this drag revue.

comedy
Cobb's Comedy Club 915 Columbus; 928-4320, www.cobbscomedy.com. Wed, 8pm: "All-Pro Comedy Showcase" $10. Fri, 8pm: Neil Innes, $20.

50 Mason Lounge 50 Mason; 398-4129, www.50masonlounge.com. Wed, Fri-Sat, 8pm: "San Francisco Comedy Club Showcase," $10.

Green Room Comedy Club 2801 Leavenworth (at the Cannery); 674-9333, www.greenroomcomedy.com. Mon-Tues, 8:30pm: "Green Room Comedy Showcase," $10.

Last Day Saloon 406 Clement; 387-63-6343. Thurs, 9-10:30pm: "Dougzilla above the Zoo," with Doug Ferrari, $5.

Marsh 1074 Valencia; 826-5750, www.themarsh.org. Sat, 9:30pm: "Mock Cafe," hosted by Tim Lee and John Trujillo, $7.

Purple Onion 140 Columbus; 217-8400 or 956-1653, www.caffemacaroni.com. Thurs, 9pm: "Purple Onion Comedy Night," with Tom Rhodes and Jimmy Gunn, $7.

RX Gallery 132 Eddy; www.rxgallery.com. Thurs, 9pm: "Joke-e-okie," hosted by Harmon Leon, $5.

Uptown 200 Capp; 206-9997. Wed, 8:30pm: "Uptown Comedy Open Mic," hosted by Eric Peterson, free.

spoken word
Open mics take place almost every night in cafés throughout the Bay Area. If you want to perform, show up about half an hour before start time to put your name on the list. A day-by-day guide to spoken word events and featured readers:

Wednesday: BrainWash Café 1122 Folsom, SF; (415) 440-5530. "Spoken Word/Singing Word Salon," with host Diamond Dave Whitaker, 8pm, free. Canvas Cafe 1200 Ninth Ave, SF; (415) 504-0060, mike@westcoastvideo.net. "Open Mic Talent Showcase," 7:30pm, free. Lost and Found Saloon 1353 Grant, SF; (415) 981-9557. Open mic with host Chris Brown, 8:30pm, free.

Thursday: 16th Street/Mission BART Plaza 16th St at Mission, SF; (415) 255-9881. "CAI Street Arts Workshop," open mic, 8:30pm, free. Mediterranean Cafe 2475 Telegraph, Berk; (510) 526-5985. "Word Beat Reading Series," with featured readers Lynn Ruth Miller and Vince Storri, 7pm, free.

Friday: Timken Lecture Hall California College of the Arts, 1111 Eighth St, SF; www.sptraffic.org. Small Press Traffic presents a poetry reading with Rob Halpern and Camille Roy, 7:30pm, $5-10.

Saturday: Beanery Cafe 2925 College, Berk; (510) 549-9093. "The Whole Note Poetry Series," with featured readers Randy Fingland and Bert Glick, 7pm, free.

Sunday: Cody's Books 2454 Telegraph, Berk; (510) 845-7852. "Poetry Flash," with featured readers Stephan Kessler and Marcia Falk, 7:30pm, $2. Cafe Prague 584 Pacific, SF; (415) 905-8837. Joie Cook reads before an open mic, hosted by Mark Schwartz, 4-5:30pm, free.

Monday: Purple Onion 140 Columbus, SF; (415) 217-8400, www.caffemacaroni.com. Open mic hosted by the Kitchenettes, 7pm, $5. Priya Indian Cuisine 2072 San Pablo, Berk; berkeleypoetryexpress@yahoo.com. "Poetry Express," with featured reader Debra Grace Khattab, 7pm, free.