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Hero worship By Cheryl Eddy MADE LATELY POPULAR by the Lord of the Rings films, the siege-of-the-city scene is now de rigueur in any movie involving hoards of faceless soldiers, their numbers increased by C.G. wizardry, their battles enhanced by such olde weaponry as catapults and flaming arrows. Troy, King Arthur, and Alexander all succumbed to this trend, and Kingdom of Heaven, set in Jerusalem between the Second and Third Crusades, follows suit. Ridley Scott's latest also cribs from the director's own Gladiator ("A hero will rise" – again); the seeing-double continues with the casting of period-movie poster boy Orlando Bloom as Heaven's hero, blacksmith-turned-knight Balian. In his first real leading role, with no Captain Jack Sparrow or beskirted Brad Pitt to hog all the attention, Bloom tightens his jaw with conviction – but his Balian is not commanding enough to anchor such a huge story (see Russell Crowe in Gladiator for the reverse effect). Like Crowe's Maximus, Balian is reeling from the untimely death of his wife. But revenge is not Balian's calling. As it turns out, she committed suicide, so she's eternally damned – "God has abandoned you," a local priest helpfully imparts – and Balian's life is meaningless without her. Conveniently, a mysterious knight (Liam Neeson) rides into his rural French village, announces he's Balian's long-lost father, and invites his son to Jerusalem: "Take up the Crusade, and you may relieve your wife's position in hell." Once reached, Jerusalem – under the rule of the Christian king Baldwin – hardly proves a paradise. Its walls keep out massive Muslim armies led by the mighty Saladin (Ghassan Massoud), who keeps the peace even as he longs to retake the city. With the utmost attention to political correctness, Kingdom of Heaven's key bad guys are both Christians, in the form of an asshole baron (Marton Csokas) married to the king's foxy sister, Sibylla (Eva Green), and an asshole war-hungry landowner (Brendan Gleeson). When conflict breaks out, it's only because the two villains plot it ("Give me a war!"), baiting the other side by beheading Saladin's sister, among other offenses. Specific religious elements – apart from oblique references to God, as in "God wills it!" and the occasional cross or call to prayer – are less crucial to the story than the more universal idea of a "good man"; one visit to Golgotha aside, this ain't no Passion of the Christ. Even the soundtrack refuses to take sides, with choral music and Middle Eastern motifs winding through the score. When Balian is finally called to lead his people (or more accurately, his father's people), it's already been made abundantly clear that God has a plan for the young hero. En route to the Holy Land, he emerges the sole human survivor of a violent shipwreck. He's spared serious injury in his many skirmishes along the way. He coaxes a bubbling well from the barren desert. He also charms Sibylla, though he refuses to allow the king's military advisor, Tiberias (Jeremy Irons), to have her husband killed. He cares not about money, or land, or glory, but about protecting the defenseless: "We fight for the people – their safety and freedom." Balian may be heavenly blessed, but damn, he's boring. There's definitely no "Are you not entertained?" sarcasm coming out of William Monahan's script. Gladiator may have had its corny moments, but Kingdom of Heaven is completely humorless, which suits the subject matter, if not the attention span of the average popcorn chomper. Bloom supposedly packed on 20 pounds to fill out Balian's chain mail, but he's still lacking a certain magnetism that's not predicated on muscle mass. The growly Irons, the prickly Crowe, and even Neeson, whose Kingdom of Heaven performance is plucked from his dial-a-father-figure book of acting tricks, are possessed of far more natural charisma than Bloom. Fortunately, and perhaps most important, the star of a movie like Kingdom of Heaven is not its most critical component. Scott is fully adept at delivering a proper historic epic: accurately detailed helmets and weapons, distressed castles, sandy vistas, and all of Heaven's other atmospherics are solidly in place; the battle scenes, C.G.-enhanced though they are, supply plenty of guys on fire, swords slicing through necks, and other R-rated acts of violence. The story, however vaguely uninspiring, flows with logical determination – there's no weird Alexander-esque jumps ahead in time, or distractingly hammy performances (Alexander again). Still, without a compelling lead character, Kingdom of Heaven is ill-equipped to distinguish itself from all the other sword-choked yarns audiences have endured lately. It's superior to Troy, and leaps better than Alexander and King Arthur – but it's far from divinely inspired. 'Kingdom of Heaven' opens Fri/6 at Bay Area theaters. See Movie Clock, in Film listings, for show times. |
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