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Squirt back DEAR READERS: I'm annoyed, and when I'm annoyed, I can't wait for the source of annoyance to finish yammering before I butt in. I really want people to understand this squirting thing ("L'il Squirt," 5/25/05), so I'm going to "fisk" this, point by point. My answers are in italics. Love, Dear Andrea: I hate to say it, but if it comes from the bladder, it's pee! It's like saying, "When you're having anal sex and some brown stuff comes out of the anus, it's not shit, it's something that magically comes from some anatomical structure unknown to science, and only during anal sex." Um, no. The only way the fluid could be something other than pee is if it magically gets into the bladder as part of a sexual process, instead of coming from the kidneys (where pee comes from). The kidneys, huh? I'll make a note of it. But why not a chemical process, as opposed to a sex-magick one? Do you really think every chemical process the body is capable of has been discovered, described, and delivered to you by courier? Oh, wait, I guess you do: In the past 50 years or so, anatomical research has reached the microscopic level. This isn't like exploring the surface of Titan. There are no undiscovered glands or other macroscopic structures in the human body. Only someone woefully/intentionally ignorant of science could believe there is some gland lurking in females that "we don't know about yet." Surprise! I agree. Had I claimed the fluid was magically conducted into the bladder by anything other than the kidneys (well, the ureters, actually), I would deserve the lecture about how there's nothing new on Uranus, or whatever, but, of course, I said no such thing. About a million years ago, when all we knew about female ejaculation was that it was special and Goddessy and new and nobody should be ashamed of it, the word on the sex-information street was that it was not pee and must be coming from the Skene's glands, so I taught that. I was wrong. For a couple of years after I found out I was wrong, I used to have to stand up in front of a class and say, "I was wrong. We have new information (it comes from the bladder), which isn't as nice as the old information (it comes from the Skene's/specialsexyfun glands), but that's the way science works. Get psyched." That was fun, believe me. Your claims that "squirt" is something other than plain old pee is just wishful/deluded thinking. OK, if I say, "My bad, I should have explained it better," will you kindly STFU already? Here's the thing: This work has actually been done (doctorg.com/female-woman-orgasm/female-g-spot-experiment-5.htm). You can read sexologist Gary Schubach's paper, "Urethral Expulsions during Sensual Arousal and Bladder Catheterization in Seven Human Females," or you can just sit there and sputter while I abstract it, either way. Schubach catheterized a small group of squirtin' women, drained their bladders, changed the collection bags, and let them go at it. Despite the empty bladders, the bags filled right up, and when the fluid was compared to the urine collected before sexual stimulation, it was found to have greatly reduced concentrations of urea and creatinine. In other words, water with a little pee in it (sometimes more), dumped unusually quickly into the bladder from the kidneys. Based on his research and a review of previously published literature, Schubach posits that "the expelled fluid is an altered form of urine and that there may be a chemical process that ... changes the composition." Maybe, maybe not, but either way, we're left to ponder the (hormonal?) cue that causes so much water (up to 900 ml) to collect so quickly, and why there is so much less urea and creatinine. Acknowledging that we don't know the answer is hardly the same as insisting that wymyns' bodies contain mysteries unknowable to myn, or that there is some new gland lurking around in there, hitherto undetected. To say that squirt isn't pee is Lysenkoism, letting a political view (feminism) decide truth, instead of the scientific evidence. The woman is peeing. It's not a big deal, but to say that it's "ejaculate" instead of "pee" is feminism, not science. Which cracks me up, since I agree with you completely, or would, if I caught someone doing what you think I was doing. Here's how I usually end my talks on this subject; let's see if you're with me here: "So, yeah, if it comes from the bladder and exits through the urethra and contains urea, it's pee, by definition. But it's weird pee, created and expelled under weird circumstances. It may be pee, but hey, it's special pee." Love, E-mail Andrea Nemerson at andrea@altsexcolumn.com. |
