Longer nights, hotter clubs
Plug these autumn parties into your Blackberry, starchild.

By Marke B.

FOLKS MAY KVETCH about the chilly summers here in the Bay Area, but I take the long view of our off-kilter meteorology: July's damp acres of Fred Perry tricot usually yield one hell of an October bikini-line bumper crop. With warm evenings and deep shadows lying just ahead (plus any number of cherished kooky local events), you may want to start making plans for party time, although you know damn well you'll probably end up doing something totally different and having a crazy story to tell about it. After all, you're a free-spirit superfreak, as wild as the wind – no solid-schedule holla-backa, you. And nothing scores more points in this town than having so very many social engagements that you simply must blow everything off for a one-night stand in Tahoe with a Cirque du Soleil contortionist or a serious blog-and-mud-mask binge.

The important thing is that you know about fall's fab club events, even if you never manage to drag your neon 'Roos and sleeveless "Free Winona" T there. This year's lineup deserves good buzz, and your friends will have enough fun just trying to find you. (Some call it flakiness – we club kids call it subtle self-promotion.) Here's what you'll need to drop in your convo to keep on climbin', butterfly. But try to land your capricious jet-set booty at some of these killer parties, shit. It ain't all virtual yet.

The season kicks off on Labor Day weekend, of course. That venerable bastion of drum 'n' bass, Eklektik, celebrates eight years of fluttery beats at 1015 Folsom (www.1015.com), jump-starting the weekend Sept. 2 with arena-reprazenter Roni Size. And, since I used to smuggle him over the Canadian border in the trunk of my jankly Chrysler E-Class to play at Detroit parties, I have to recommend hitting up techno god Richie Hawtin's appearance at Mezzanine that night (www.blasthaus.com). That night also sees Can't Stop, Won't Stop at DNA Lounge (www.dnalounge.com) – a huge local hip-hop shindig celebrating my boy (and Bay Guardian contributor) Jeff Chang's American Book Award win this year, featuring old-school principal Kool Herc giving props. Slip on a sequined bustier and hit up champagne-and-Gucci king Sebastien's decadent annual Float party (www.sebastienpresents.com) at Harry Denton's Starlight Room Sept. 4, or slide through the three-day weekend with the help of a fun-filled binge of local tech house talent and foreign behavior at the Endup (www.endup.com).

Club nights (and days) heat up in the fall too, with the return of legendary DJ Pete Avila's deep-house weekly spectacular, Thrive, now getting prancey at Bambuddha Lounge (www.bambuddhalounge.com). Also at Bambuddha, those substance-soaked Rehab kids, Marcia and Ryan, are launching their new monthly pool party, Feather, which, they assure me, will be very "fashionably Avedon." Bring your health insurance card. Speaking of the clubs, scene-happy alt-queers eagerly await the opening of new venue Deco at the old Jezebel's Joint location, which will host the sadly-on-hiatus Macho and Rod parties, plus death-defying regular events by the likes of drag goddess Cockatelia. Fingers crossed they open next month – the city's asymmetrical shags and leopard-print hose need a place to call their own.

There's a gaggle of other Great Big Events on the horizon – like Russian River Massacre IV (www.putanesca.tv/RRM4.html), the raucous, blood-soaked Guerneville weekend getaway Oct. 22 hosted by trash queens Putanesca and Suppositori Spelling; or the horrifyingly entertaining Exotic Erotic Ball's 25th anniversary (www.exoticeroticball.com), brimming with half-naked suburbanites; or, hell, more TBA Burning Man decompression and fairy-raver Equinox parties than you can shake a fire stick at. But fall's money-melon weekend will surely be Sept. 24 and 25, when both the rave-flavored Love Parade (www.loveparadesf.org) and Folsom Street Fair (www.folsomstreetfair.com) descend on San Francisco. It'll be fun to see who confuses the two.

The Love Parade's kickoff hits DNA Lounge Sept. 23 with a three-hour DJ set by the "Amen-Ra of universal hip-hop culture," Afrika Bambaataa, and tops off Sept. 24 with an official after-party at Bill Graham Civic Auditorium (www.billgrahamcivic.com) featuring a ton of tech-happy Names (Carl Cox, Goldie, and Blank and Jones among them) on three indoor stages, plus 'tronic-headrush mainstay Paul Van Dyke holding court at 1015 Folsom with a marathon set. The Folsom Street Fair will be filling SF's nooks, crannies, and alleyways with leather-scented craziness. I'm gonna be a mess.