Best sex toy purchases of 2005

A short list.

By Annalee Newitz

THE BEST SEX toy to put in the shopping cart isn't always the latest thing, or even the most elaborate (although we love elaborate just on principle). Sometimes it's just the cheapest, or the slipperiest, or the most user-friendly. A person needs variety, and each of the toys enumerated below has its own special power. And so, after careful consideration, we give you the winners, in no particular order.

Cheapest toy: Amazon.com's 99¢ special

First of all, who the hell knew you could buy sex toys on Amazon? Well, you can, as long as you drill down through the "health and personal care" menu to the "sex and sensuality" section. Although it's amusing to see butt plugs marketed in the usual Amazon.com layout – down to the "customers who bought this item also bought" feature – the best item is, of course, the 99¢ Metallic Gold Slim Line Lady Finger Mini Massager, i.e., a shiny gold vibrator that fits in your purse and matches your gold-painted sneakers. Such a deal! Who can resist? www.amazon.com.

Best luxury vibrator set: Babeland's Le Tigre ($249)

Le Tigre isn't just a hot electro-grrrl band from New York anymore. It's also a vibrator with a set of screw-on tips – in metallic hot pink – that comes in its own shiny silver lunchbox-size briefcase with a lock. Yes, at $249 it's a little pricey, but if it's payday and you want to own something that reminds you of Kathleen Hanna every time you orgasm, these are the sex toys for you. www.babeland.com.

Most ravishingly gorgeous dildos: Blowfish's solid-glass creations ($25-$175)

If you like your toys to be as beautiful as they are hot, it's time to try a glass dildo from local sex toy mavens Blowfish. Many people love the cool, hard feel of smooth glass against the skin, and these statuesque dildos come in a variety of curvaceous shapes – from g-spot stimulators to plugs – and an arresting series of swirly colors. Also, they're easy to clean and perfectly safe. Not even your most powerful orgasm could break them! www.blowfish.com.

Best BDSM toy for people who can't tie knots: Leather by Danny's adjustable hog tie ($50)

Purveyor of high-quality leather toys of all types, Leather by Danny is famous for inventing an ergonomic hanging cuff that doesn't injure your wrists. But maybe even better, Danny has invented a quick way to hog-tie people of all sizes without having to learn all those weird knots. The adjustable hog tie is a strap that attaches to wrist and ankle cuffs behind your sweetie's back and leaves his or her front side all nice and vulnerable. www.gripcuffs.com.

Loveliest lube: Good Vibes' Good Lubrications cream (8 oz., $15)

Every sex act should have a little lube on top, and Good Vibrations has the best slippery stuff for your next fling. This cream is as gentle and smooth as lotion and never gets sticky or grody with lots of use. Good for making any orifice wetter! And it comes in a handy squirt bottle you can tuck away in a bedside-table drawer until next time. www.goodvibes.com.

Annalee Newitz writes the Bay Guardian's Techsploitation column.