San Francisco Bay Guardian | Arts and Entertainment

8 Days a Week

Nov. 9-16, 2005

GEEK-CHASERS have never been quite so hot and bothered. Isn't it agreed that every brainy lady (and laddie, but perhaps I can only speak for ladies) hooked on NPR, album-oriented indie rock, Harper's Magazine, and McSweeney's hardbacks has likely been crushing hard on Ira Glass since they first heard his sweet, adenoidal vocal stylings on his Peabody Award-winning radio program, This American Life (or even on Talk of the Nation)? And what proud New Yorker subscriber and myopic underground comic reader doesn't stand in awe of Chris Ware's obsessively meticulous, scarily incisive, and outright gut-busting cartoons/illos/nostalgic road maps to certain weirdness? (His latest, incidentally, is Library of Novelty (Pantheon), a compilation of The Acme Novelty Library strips, including the Chalky White yarns that poke fun at Middle American collector ennui.) Well then, this is the show for them. Dare I call it (in Ware's retro-early-20th-century hyperbolic style) "The World's Sexiest Guys from Chicago Who Wear Glasses Discuss the Art of Storytelling"? Ahem. The event is known to mere mortals as "Visible and Invisible Drawings: An Evening with Chris Ware and Ira Glass." Go Sox. Sat/12, 8 p.m., Zellerbach Hall, Bancroft and Telegraph, UC Berkeley, Berk. $20-$32. (510) 642-9988, www.calperfs.berkeley.edu. (Kimberly Chun)

Nov. 9

Wednesday

A separate peace Unique among the slew of recent docs about the Israel-Palestine conflict is Danae Elon's Another Road Home, which not only takes a remarkably balanced political view, it's also personal without being self-centered and full of poignant moments that feel neither staged nor forced. The daughter of prominent Israeli author Amos Elon, Danae Elon was raised in Jerusalem with an unusual "third parent" – a Palestinian man named Mahmoud "Musa" Obeidallah who helped take care of her from infancy through high school. Though the two families have since lost touch, the New York-based filmmaker tracks down Obeidallah's sons – nearly all of whom live in New Jersey – and reconnects with them on a deeply personal level. Elon involves her parents as well, and by the time Obeidallah makes the trip to America (and Elon journeys back to Palestine with him, extending their reunion), Another Road Home has made quite a resonant point about the power of family over politics. Proceeds from tonight's reception and screening benefit the San Francisco Regional Office of the International Rescue Committee, which for the past 30 years has worked to assist refugees who have resettled in the Bay Area. Reception 6 p.m., screening 7 p.m., Delancey Street Theater, 600 Embarcadero, SF. $35. (415) 863-3777, ext. 303, stephanies@theirc.org. (Cheryl Eddy)

Guitar titan There's a side of metal that's deeply associated with dragons, swords, and shredding neoclassical shit into it all. Solo guitarist Yngwie Malmsteen has been a part of this scene for the past 20 years, swinging his double-handed ax the whole way. Music nerds who hold impromptu conventions at local Guitar Centers are years off from settling the debate about "who has the most finger-lickin' riffs of all time," but Malmsteen is one of their prime suspects. Call it ridiculous guitar wankery if you want, but I'm sure Malmsteen's roadie takes it pretty seriously; I like to imagine him crouching behind a stack of amps with an extinguisher in case Malmsteen's fret board catches fire. 8 p.m., Independent, 628 Divisadero, SF. $25. (415)771-1421 (Sean Patrick Maylone)

Nov. 10

Thursday

))<>(( The image of a young boy instructing an older woman over Instant Messenger to "poop into my butt hole and I poop into your butt hole back and forth forever" will haunt my dreams for the rest of my life, and Miranda July is to blame. In addition to directing and starring in her first feature film, Me and You and Everyone We Know, July also indulges in short films, recordings, and live performances that often deal with a host of complex themes. The visiting Yerba Buena Center for the Arts resident artist offers her fans and art aficionados alike the chance to explore the limits of creativity through mixed media. She asks that attendees complete a simple written assignment prior to attending the event: Write the text for a phone call you wish you could have. Additional instructions can be found at the YBCA Web site. Also Sat/12. 7:30 p.m., screening room, Yerba Buena Center for the Arts, 701 Mission, SF. $5-$8. (415) 978-2787, www.ybca.org. (Justin Yu)

Gut reaction Forget the beads and sequins and bring on the feathers, shells, and tattoos for tonight's belly-dancing extravaganza. Bay Area belly and tribal dancers are raising money for Don't Let My People Die, an organization helping nomadic tribes in Niger who've been affected by drought and food shortages. Suhaila Salimpour, Rachel Brice, and Fat Chance Belly Dance headline. The benefit also features live music by Tim Rayborn and Salaat, a silent auction and raffle, food, and vendors. 7:30 p.m., Brava Theater Center, 2789 24th Street (between York and Hampshire), SF. $30. www.dontletmypeopledie.org. (Alexandra L. Woodruff)

Nov. 11

Friday

Why say Why? Because with Elephant Eyelash (Anticon), four-piece Why? has managed make the most tuneful, comic, cranky-yet-cuddly masterwork to come down the pike since Pavement. Armed with whistles, acoustic guitars, glockenspiel, and janky noisemakers, the band is still reaching for certain ineffable truths with those inadequate, mutton-choppy tools called words. But what words: "All the people who taught me / card tricks are dying / I've been trying / to steal my grandfather's / handsome from old photographs," Yoni Wolf yelps on "Act Five." Shout-outs to the birthplace of the free speech movement don't get much more apropos since brothers Yoni and Josiah Wolf, Doug McDiarmid, and Matt Meldon seem to have achieved a new sense of aural and verbal fluency, which conveys a dozen great ideas for nada – or, rather, Dada. Genres – what genres? Furthermore, Why? genres? Just nod your thoughtmaker sagely and shake your hippies (or Huskies) to great little pop numbers like "Sanddollars" and "Gemini." Aqueduct, Life on Earth, and DJ Sodapop also perform. 10 p.m., Bottom of the Hill, 1233 17th St., SF. $10. (415) 621-4455. (Kimberly Chun)

Holy noise Claremont, Calif.'s Amps For Christ is the current concern of Henry Barnes, founder of late hardcore-punk legends Man is the Bastard. That MITB produced two of tonight's performers – AFC, a noise-folk-Celtic-Christian act, and Eric Wood's Bastard Noise project – is both bizarre and indicative of the breadth of interests of the individuals involved. Seeing AFC perform, with Barnes and regular touring partners Tara Tavi (Soddamn Inssein) and Erika Anderson (Gowns) combining their forces on electronics, hammered dulcimer, Barnes's handcrafted stringed instruments, and tremulous vocals, is its own idiosyncratic deal, unlike Christian indie rock groups like Danielson Famile or the more worrisome evangelical strain. Bastard Noise, Kalmex and the Riff Merchants, Lux Nova, Intronaught, and A Sleeping Irony also perform. 8 p.m., 924 Gilman, 924 Gilman, Berk. $6. (510) 525-9926. (George Chen)

After the gold rush Between the Korean barbecue joints and the pasty white churches, a vibrant arts community continues to buzz on the blocks of Telegraph Avenue leading into downtown Oakland. Joining the ranks of the Rock Paper Scissors collective and the Mama Buzz Cafe is Mike Simpson and Derek Weisberg's new space, the Boontling Gallery. Named for the invented language spoken up north in Booneville (to which the Anderson Valley Brewing Company's excellent Boont Amber Ale also owes its name), the Boontling is fortifying its roots with The Neighborhood Show, featuring works by 11 Oakland artists. Those who make it to the opening will also be treated to music by DJ Top Shelf. Through Dec 4. Reception tonight, 7:30-10 p.m.; gallery hours, Sat.-Sun., noon-5 p.m., Boontling Gallery, 4224 Telegraph, Oakl. Free. (707) 980-1060. (Max Goldberg)

Nov. 12

Saturday

Let the sunshine in Endorphins are what I rely on to deal with daylight saving time shortening the little sunlight we have to begin with in San Francisco. Rather than using exercise, chocolate, or sex to get my natural high, I count on music. And lately the mod-pop sounds and lyrics of Denver's Dressy Bessy have unfailingly brightened my days. The quartet is a vintage outfit in mint condition that is not to be missed. Frontperson Tammy Ealom's voice, though sweet, is not like a child's; it carries the weight of experience and asserted sexuality. Her husband, John Hill (also of Apples in Stereo), strums catchy, melodic chords on guitar, while bassist Rob Greene and new drummer Craig Gilbert steadily juggle their beats. Styrofoam and Alias also play. 9:30 p.m., Cafe du Nord, 2170 Market, SF. $10. (415) 861-5016. (Yenie Ra)

You have been served For those who like it slow, dreamy, and contemplative, UK's Clientele unveil Strange Geometry (Merge), their first album recorded in a full-fledged pro joint with a real live engineer and producer. Time to pop a 40, eh? Seriously, though, the professionalism hasn't marred the delicate dream poppers' breathy sonics, especially now that the trio can concentrate on making beautiful music and not spend all their time tinkering with broken-down gear. Fellow Merge artists Radar Bros. and Annie Hayden open. 10 p.m., Bottom of the Hill, 1233 17th St., SF. $12. (415) 621-4455. (Chun)

Nov. 13

Sunday

Fresh horses It's been a busy month for Patti Smith: celebrating the 30th anniversary of Horses (and its deluxe rerelease), gearing up for dates opening for U2 (yes, U2), receiving the Woman of Valor Lifetime Achievement Award at the ROCKRGRL Music Conference in Seattle, and playing shows, including tomorrow night's sold-out show at the Great American Music Hall. On top of all that, tonight Smith and her longtime guitarist and fellow author Lenny Kaye read from their two most recent books. Smith's Auguries of Innocence is her first book of poetry in more than a decade, and Kaye's You Call It Madness: The Sensuous Song of the Croon is a history of the advent of the sexy and intimate crooners of the '30s. 7 p.m., All Saints Church, 1350 Waller, SF. Entry with purchase of books by Smith or Kaye at Booksmith (1644 Haight, SF) or at the door. (415) 863-8688, www.booksmith.com. (Lydia Brawner)

Nov. 14

Monday

Aural explorations Throughout the '90s, Joe Colley was best known as Crawl Unit, a noise project out of Sacramento with releases on Ground Fault and Self-Abuse. The newly Oakland-based sound artist mixes performance with installation, creating such conceptual projects as an amplification of the sound of clay and water mixing. His recent show at Record Collector (RIP) involved a turntable with a locked groove, commanding the listener to "give up" next to a series of nooses. Hopefully his blacker-than-a-black-hole humor will reign at tonight's Echo de Pensees Sound Series performance, but all that was revealed is that he requested a copy machine for this performance. Kenneth Atchley's modus operandi is more defined, often using water fountains as sound sources. His 2002 album, Fountains (Ausculture/Ground Fault), finds a meditative fascination with the percussive fall of droplets, the slight phase-shifts of sound, and the primal symbolism of water, augmented by laptop drones and howling hisses. 8 p.m., Playspace Gallery, California College of the Arts, 1111 Eighth St., second floor, SF. Free. (415) 551-9213. (Chen)

Nu-disco Raw and unfinished but sarcastic and absurd – this is Oakland's Hawnay Troof. The man behind the band, Vice Cooler, churns out more mix-tape-friendly electro jams in Hawnay Troof's latest EP, Community (Retard Disco), which features pseudo-spoken-word lyrics that sound like Cooler shared a vocal coach with MC Chris. If you've seen the band's conjoined sister group, Gravy Train!!!!, you'll know what kind of thematic variety show Hawnay Troof also has in store: costumes, underwear, nudity, shouting, and dancing are only a hint of the onstage antics you can expect from this group of rowdy pipettes. BARR and Tank Attack kick off the insanity. 7 p.m., Artists' Television Access, 992 Valencia, SF. $5. (415) 824-3890. (Yu)

Nov. 15

Tuesday

Fabulous muscles From the department of things you know nothing about, or from the department of books with really amazing titles, may we present: Iron Maidens: The Celebration of the Most Awesome Female Muscle in the World. Author Kristin Kaye was hired to direct a one-night Broadway production starring 25 of the strongest women in the world. The subsequent book, which she reads from tonight, recounts her experiences as an outsider in the female body-building milieu and exposes some of what goes on in that muscle-bound world: steroid use, skimpy costumes, smoke machines, awesome muscle, and all. 7:30 p.m., Modern Times Bookstore, 888 Valencia, SF. Free. (415) 282-9246, www.mtbs.com. (Brawner)

Nov. 16

Wednesday

Blec-tastic Together again for one night performing ... solo? Yep, the two former members of Blectum from Blechdom are in town again to share their separate evolutions. Kevin Blechdom will be performing live in support of her new album, Eat My Heart Out (Chicks on Speed Records), while Blevin Blectum whips up live versions from Magic Maple (Praemedia). Also appearing is Berlin's Planningtorock with the SF debut of her audiovisual extravaganza, billing itself as "the crazy love-child of Kate Bush and Ozzy Osbourne." Wobbly and Safety Scissors man the decks. 9:30 p.m., Mighty, 119 Utah, SF. $7. (415) 626-7001. (Peter Nicholson) The Bay Guardian listings deadline is two weeks prior to our Wednesday publication date. To submit an item for consideration, please include the title of the event, a brief description of the event, date and time, venue name, street address (listing cross streets only isn't sufficient), city, telephone number readers can call for more information, telephone number for media, and admission costs. Send information to Listings, the Bay Guardian Building, 135 Mississippi St., SF, CA 94107; fax to (415) 487-2506; or e-mail (paste press release into e-mail body – no text attachments, please) to listings@sfbg.com. We cannot guarantee the return of photos, but enclosing an SASE helps. Digital photos may be submitted in jpeg format; the image must be at least 240 dpi and four inches by six inches in size. We regret we cannot accept listings over the phone.

8 Days a Week Nov. 9-16, 2005 GEEK-CHASERS have never been quite so hot and bothered. Isn't it agreed that every brainy lady (and laddie, but perhaps I can only speak for ladies) hooked on NPR, album-oriented indie rock, Harper's Magazine, and McSweeney's hardbacks has likely been crushing hard on Ira Glass since they first heard his sweet, adenoidal vocal stylings on his Peabody Award-winning radio program, This American Life (or even on Talk of the Nation)? And what proud New Yorker subscriber and myopic underground comic reader doesn't stand in awe of Chris Ware's obsessively meticulous, scarily incisive, and outright gut-busting cartoons/illos/nostalgic road maps to certain weirdness? (His latest, incidentally, is Library of Novelty (Pantheon), a compilation of The Acme Novelty Library strips, including the Chalky White yarns that poke fun at Middle American collector ennui.) Well then, this is the show for them. Dare I call it (in Ware's retro-early-20th-century hyperbolic style) "The World's Sexiest Guys from Chicago Who Wear Glasses Discuss the Art of Storytelling"? Ahem. The event is known to mere mortals as "Visible and Invisible Drawings: An Evening with Chris Ware and Ira Glass." Go Sox. Sat/12, 8 p.m., Zellerbach Hall, Bancroft and Telegraph, UC Berkeley, Berk. $20-$32. (510) 642-9988, www.calperfs.berkeley.edu. (Kimberly Chun) Nov. 9 Wednesday A separate peace Unique among the slew of recent docs about the Israel-Palestine conflict is Danae Elon's *Another Road Home,* which not only takes a remarkably balanced political view, it's also personal without being self-centered and full of poignant moments that feel neither staged nor forced. The daughter of prominent Israeli author Amos Elon, Danae Elon was raised in Jerusalem with an unusual "third parent" – a Palestinian man named Mahmoud "Musa" Obeidallah who helped take care of her from infancy through high school. Though the two families have since lost touch, the New York-based filmmaker tracks down Obeidallah's sons – nearly all of whom live in New Jersey – and reconnects with them on a deeply personal level. Elon involves her parents as well, and by the time Obeidallah makes the trip to America (and Elon journeys back to Palestine with him, extending their reunion), Another Road Home has made quite a resonant point about the power of family over politics. Proceeds from tonight's reception and screening benefit the San Francisco Regional Office of the International Rescue Committee, which for the past 30 years has worked to assist refugees who have resettled in the Bay Area. Reception 6 p.m., screening 7 p.m., Delancey Street Theater, 600 Embarcadero, SF. $35. (415) 863-3777, ext. 303, stephanies@theirc.org. (Cheryl Eddy) Guitar titan There's a side of metal that's deeply associated with dragons, swords, and shredding neoclassical shit into it all. Solo guitarist Yngwie Malmsteen has been a part of this scene for the past 20 years, swinging his double-handed ax the whole way. Music nerds who hold impromptu conventions at local Guitar Centers are years off from settling the debate about "who has the most finger-lickin' riffs of all time," but Malmsteen is one of their prime suspects. Call it ridiculous guitar wankery if you want, but I'm sure Malmsteen's roadie takes it pretty seriously; I like to imagine him crouching behind a stack of amps with an extinguisher in case Malmsteen's fret board catches fire. 8 p.m., Independent, 628 Divisadero, SF. $25. (415)771-1421 (Sean Patrick Maylone) Nov. 10 Thursday ))<>(( The image of a young boy instructing an older woman over Instant Messenger to "poop into my butt hole and I poop into your butt hole back and forth forever" will haunt my dreams for the rest of my life, and Miranda July is to blame. In addition to directing and starring in her first feature film, Me and You and Everyone We Know, July also indulges in short films, recordings, and live performances that often deal with a host of complex themes. The visiting Yerba Buena Center for the Arts resident artist offers her fans and art aficionados alike the chance to explore the limits of creativity through mixed media. She asks that attendees complete a simple written assignment prior to attending the event: Write the text for a phone call you wish you could have. Additional instructions can be found at the YBCA Web site. Also Sat/12. 7:30 p.m., screening room, Yerba Buena Center for the Arts, 701 Mission, SF. $5-$8. (415) 978-2787, www.ybca.org. (Justin Yu) Gut reaction Forget the beads and sequins and bring on the feathers, shells, and tattoos for tonight's belly-dancing extravaganza. Bay Area belly and tribal dancers are raising money for Don't Let My People Die, an organization helping nomadic tribes in Niger who've been affected by drought and food shortages. Suhaila Salimpour, Rachel Brice, and Fat Chance Belly Dance headline. The benefit also features live music by Tim Rayborn and Salaat, a silent auction and raffle, food, and vendors. 7:30 p.m., Brava Theater Center, 2789 24th Street (between York and Hampshire), SF. $30. www.dontletmypeopledie.org. (Alexandra L. Woodruff) Nov. 11 Friday Why say Why? Because with Elephant Eyelash (Anticon), four-piece Why? has managed make the most tuneful, comic, cranky-yet-cuddly masterwork to come down the pike since Pavement. Armed with whistles, acoustic guitars, glockenspiel, and janky noisemakers, the band is still reaching for certain ineffable truths with those inadequate, mutton-choppy tools called words. But what words: "All the people who taught me / card tricks are dying / I've been trying / to steal my grandfather's / handsome from old photographs," Yoni Wolf yelps on "Act Five." Shout-outs to the birthplace of the free speech movement don't get much more apropos since brothers Yoni and Josiah Wolf, Doug McDiarmid, and Matt Meldon seem to have achieved a new sense of aural and verbal fluency, which conveys a dozen great ideas for nada – or, rather, Dada. Genres – what genres? Furthermore, Why? genres? Just nod your thoughtmaker sagely and shake your hippies (or Huskies) to great little pop numbers like "Sanddollars" and "Gemini." Aqueduct, Life on Earth, and DJ Sodapop also perform. 10 p.m., Bottom of the Hill, 1233 17th St., SF. $10. (415) 621-4455. (Kimberly Chun) Holy noise Claremont, Calif.'s Amps For Christ is the current concern of Henry Barnes, founder of late hardcore-punk legends Man is the Bastard. That MITB produced two of tonight's performers – AFC, a noise-folk-Celtic-Christian act, and Eric Wood's Bastard Noise project – is both bizarre and indicative of the breadth of interests of the individuals involved. Seeing AFC perform, with Barnes and regular touring partners Tara Tavi (Soddamn Inssein) and Erika Anderson (Gowns) combining their forces on electronics, hammered dulcimer, Barnes's handcrafted stringed instruments, and tremulous vocals, is its own idiosyncratic deal, unlike Christian indie rock groups like Danielson Famile or the more worrisome evangelical strain. Bastard Noise, Kalmex and the Riff Merchants, Lux Nova, Intronaught, and A Sleeping Irony also perform. 8 p.m., 924 Gilman, 924 Gilman, Berk. $6. (510) 525-9926. (George Chen) After the gold rush Between the Korean barbecue joints and the pasty white churches, a vibrant arts community continues to buzz on the blocks of Telegraph Avenue leading into downtown Oakland. Joining the ranks of the Rock Paper Scissors collective and the Mama Buzz Cafe is Mike Simpson and Derek Weisberg's new space, the Boontling Gallery. Named for the invented language spoken up north in Booneville (to which the Anderson Valley Brewing Company's excellent Boont Amber Ale also owes its name), the Boontling is fortifying its roots with The Neighborhood Show, featuring works by 11 Oakland artists. Those who make it to the opening will also be treated to music by DJ Top Shelf. Through Dec 4. Reception tonight, 7:30-10 p.m.; gallery hours, Sat.-Sun., noon-5 p.m., Boontling Gallery, 4224 Telegraph, Oakl. Free. (707) 980-1060. (Max Goldberg) Nov. 12 Saturday Let the sunshine in Endorphins are what I rely on to deal with daylight saving time shortening the little sunlight we have to begin with in San Francisco. Rather than using exercise, chocolate, or sex to get my natural high, I count on music. And lately the mod-pop sounds and lyrics of Denver's Dressy Bessy have unfailingly brightened my days. The quartet is a vintage outfit in mint condition that is not to be missed. Frontperson Tammy Ealom's voice, though sweet, is not like a child's; it carries the weight of experience and asserted sexuality. Her husband, John Hill (also of Apples in Stereo), strums catchy, melodic chords on guitar, while bassist Rob Greene and new drummer Craig Gilbert steadily juggle their beats. Styrofoam and Alias also play. 9:30 p.m., Cafe du Nord, 2170 Market, SF. $10. (415) 861-5016. (Yenie Ra) You have been served For those who like it slow, dreamy, and contemplative, UK's Clientele unveil Strange Geometry (Merge), their first album recorded in a full-fledged pro joint with a real live engineer and producer. Time to pop a 40, eh? Seriously, though, the professionalism hasn't marred the delicate dream poppers' breathy sonics, especially now that the trio can concentrate on making beautiful music and not spend all their time tinkering with broken-down gear. Fellow Merge artists Radar Bros. and Annie Hayden open. 10 p.m., Bottom of the Hill, 1233 17th St., SF. $12. (415) 621-4455. (Chun) Nov. 13 Sunday Fresh horses It's been a busy month for Patti Smith: celebrating the 30th anniversary of Horses (and its deluxe rerelease), gearing up for dates opening for U2 (yes, U2), receiving the Woman of Valor Lifetime Achievement Award at the ROCKRGRL Music Conference in Seattle, and playing shows, including tomorrow night's sold-out show at the Great American Music Hall. On top of all that, tonight Smith and her longtime guitarist and fellow author Lenny Kaye read from their two most recent books. Smith's Auguries of Innocence is her first book of poetry in more than a decade, and Kaye's You Call It Madness: The Sensuous Song of the Croon is a history of the advent of the sexy and intimate crooners of the '30s. 7 p.m., All Saints Church, 1350 Waller, SF. Entry with purchase of books by Smith or Kaye at Booksmith (1644 Haight, SF) or at the door. (415) 863-8688, www.booksmith.com. (Lydia Brawner) Nov. 14 Monday Aural explorations Throughout the '90s, Joe Colley was best known as Crawl Unit, a noise project out of Sacramento with releases on Ground Fault and Self-Abuse. The newly Oakland-based sound artist mixes performance with installation, creating such conceptual projects as an amplification of the sound of clay and water mixing. His recent show at Record Collector (RIP) involved a turntable with a locked groove, commanding the listener to "give up" next to a series of nooses. Hopefully his blacker-than-a-black-hole humor will reign at tonight's Echo de Pensees Sound Series performance, but all that was revealed is that he requested a copy machine for this performance. Kenneth Atchley's modus operandi is more defined, often using water fountains as sound sources. His 2002 album, Fountains (Ausculture/Ground Fault), finds a meditative fascination with the percussive fall of droplets, the slight phase-shifts of sound, and the primal symbolism of water, augmented by laptop drones and howling hisses. 8 p.m., Playspace Gallery, California College of the Arts, 1111 Eighth St., second floor, SF. Free. (415) 551-9213. (Chen) Nu-disco Raw and unfinished but sarcastic and absurd – this is Oakland's Hawnay Troof. The man behind the band, Vice Cooler, churns out more mix-tape-friendly electro jams in Hawnay Troof's latest EP, Community (Retard Disco), which features pseudo-spoken-word lyrics that sound like Cooler shared a vocal coach with MC Chris. If you've seen the band's conjoined sister group, Gravy Train!!!!, you'll know what kind of thematic variety show Hawnay Troof also has in store: costumes, underwear, nudity, shouting, and dancing are only a hint of the onstage antics you can expect from this group of rowdy pipettes. BARR and Tank Attack kick off the insanity. 7 p.m., Artists' Television Access, 992 Valencia, SF. $5. (415) 824-3890. (Yu) Nov. 15 Tuesday Fabulous muscles From the department of things you know nothing about, or from the department of books with really amazing titles, may we present: Iron Maidens: The Celebration of the Most Awesome Female Muscle in the World. Author Kristin Kaye was hired to direct a one-night Broadway production starring 25 of the strongest women in the world. The subsequent book, which she reads from tonight, recounts her experiences as an outsider in the female body-building milieu and exposes some of what goes on in that muscle-bound world: steroid use, skimpy costumes, smoke machines, awesome muscle, and all. 7:30 p.m., Modern Times Bookstore, 888 Valencia, SF. Free. (415) 282-9246, www.mtbs.com. (Brawner) Nov. 16 Wednesday Blec-tastic Together again for one night performing ... solo? Yep, the two former members of Blectum from Blechdom are in town again to share their separate evolutions. Kevin Blechdom will be performing live in support of her new album, Eat My Heart Out (Chicks on Speed Records), while Blevin Blectum whips up live versions from Magic Maple (Praemedia). Also appearing is Berlin's Planningtorock with the SF debut of her audiovisual extravaganza, billing itself as "the crazy love-child of Kate Bush and Ozzy Osbourne." Wobbly and Safety Scissors man the decks. 9:30 p.m., Mighty, 119 Utah, SF. $7. (415) 626-7001. (Peter Nicholson) The Bay Guardian listings deadline is two weeks prior to our Wednesday publication date. To submit an item for consideration, please include the title of the event, a brief description of the event, date and time, venue name, street address (listing cross streets only isn't sufficient), city, telephone number readers can call for more information, telephone number for media, and admission costs. Send information to Listings, the Bay Guardian Building, 135 Mississippi St., SF, CA 94107; fax to (415) 487-2506; or e-mail (paste press release into e-mail body – no text attachments, please) to listings@sfbg.com. We cannot guarantee the return of photos, but enclosing an SASE helps. Digital photos may be submitted in jpeg format; the image must be at least 240 dpi and four inches by six inches in size. We regret we cannot accept listings over the phone.