A pyromaniac's guide to the holidays

By Kristina Peterson

WHEN SAN FRANCISCO celebrated its centennial on New Year's Eve back in 1875, Mayor A.J. Bryant – clearly the spiritual ancestor of Larry Harvey – issued a proclamation in the Dec. 31 San Francisco Bulletin on proper methods of partying: "The fire bells will be run for five minutes at midnight, Friday. Permission to make bonfires and fire salutes can be obtained at this office and a policeman will be detailed by the Chief of Police at each bonfire.... I invite the assistance of all citizens in making a celebration worthy of the day."

And though it poured that night, the crowds rallied to follow his instructions, setting off Roman candles and fireworks in spite of the rain, according to the Jan. 1 Daily Chronicle. This holiday season, for those of you who want to party like it's 1875, we've compiled an all-purpose guide for the pyromaniac inside. The fascination of watching things burn belongs to the realm of morbid excitement, home also to NASCAR spectatorship and extreme makeover shows. And like those things, the following activities are, surprisingly, pretty much legal.

The official event took place Nov. 5 over in England, but if you missed your chance to celebrate a plot by British revolutionaries to blow up Parliament, you can have your own Bonfire Night here on the beach. Celtic wisdom maintains that bonfires ward off evil spirits; also, it's really cold out in the Richmond – where, on Ocean Beach between Fulton Street and Lincoln Way, bonfires of less than three feet in diameter are permitted. Burn clean firewood only, and extinguish your blaze with water when the party's over. Recommended snacks: baked potatoes, hot dogs or sausages (depending on your sense of self-worth), marshmallows. For information on regulations and permits for parties larger than 25 people, go to www.nps.gov/goga/clho/ocbe/ocbe-fires.htm.

If your shoreline bonfire is rained out, you can console yourself with the flaming-drink recipe thoughtfully provided here:

Known as glögg in Sweden, this holiday concoction contains a magical ingredient called grain alcohol. The beauty of the recipe is that you add 200-proof alcohol to wine, set it on fire, blow it out, and then consume. Or just sniff the fumes.

Glögg

4 or 5 cardamom seeds

1 stick cinnamon, broken in half

8 whole cloves

3 liters of jug-wine port

1 pint (0.5 liters) grain alcohol

3/4 to 1 cup brown sugar

Slivered blanched almonds

Raisins

Tie the spices in a square of muslin cloth, put the bag in a small pot, and cover it with water. Boil for 5 minutes, then add the liquid to the port wine in a larger pot and bring it to a boil, then immediately turn the heat off. Add the grain alcohol. While holding the pot lid about an inch above the pot, bring a match to the edge of the pot. Cover the pot as soon as the alcohol fumes ignite. Stir in the brown sugar. Transfer the concoction, including the spice bag, to a big jug for storage. If possible, let it stand for a day or two. Serve it warmed with almonds and raisins.

Gifting for pyromaniacs can be a challenge. You know what they want, but packaging and wrapping can be difficult. At times, calling in the professionals is the best idea. Oakland performance troupe Fire Arts Collective stages fire-dancing, -spinning, and -eating shows and can teach you and your loved ones how to do (some of) it too. If you'd rather just watch, check the group out when it performs at Children's Fairyland in Oakland. Performance Dec. 20, 6-6:20 p.m., 699 Bellevue, Oakl. 510-452-2259, www.fairyland.org, www.fireartscollective.com.

In case Grandma's in for the holidays, or your house is host to other people who think wood should only be lit in fireplaces, there are plenty of seasonal shows that involve small, well-contained fires, also known as candles. In a Venn diagram of pyromaniacs and people who wear cardigans, there exists a small area of candlelit overlap. Here are a few options:

The Lively Foundation is in its 12th season of putting on 'Festival of Lights,' a music and dance performance celebrating the role of light in assorted holidays. Somehow, a dancing gorilla is also involved. Sun/11, 3 p.m., Veterans Building Green Room, 401 Van Ness, SF. $12-$15. (415) 346-8959.

Or, if what really ignites you is fire in close proximity to human hair, come to the Santa Lucia celebration at the Norwegian Seaman's Church. The procession and concert celebrates the Swedish festival of lights with songs, girls with candles in their hair, and Scandinavian holiday nibbles. And even in the event of no spectacular blazes, the cookies are always delicious. Sun/11, 3 p.m., 2454 Hyde, SF. (415) 775-6566, www.kirken.org.

If none of the above manages to ignite you, fear not: New Year's Eve always drags a bevy of exploding things in its wake – nowadays, fireworks above the bay have replaced 19th-century fire salutes, which is probably a good thing. And in March, New Year's pops up again on the Persian calendar, at which time jumping over a small bonfire might bring you good luck.

In a year where even the Fire Department talks about brownouts, it's up to the citizens to bring back the blazes. Just remember to extinguish them at the end of the night.