double team psychic dream

by michelle tea and jessica lanyadoo

Dec. 14-20

Aries (March 21-April 19)

Aries, we're not going to tell you not to turn the heat up this week. We're not going to advise you against pumping up the volume, or say that we're in any way anti- you flexing your power. It's just that the more moderation you can integrate into your vision, the longer your resources will last.

Taurus (April 20-May 20)

Oh Taurus, we're stuck here on the ol' bull in the china shop metaphor. Specifically, we're thinking about how big and bumbling and graceless the ox is, and how thin and delicate and easily rattled – not to mention wicked pricey – the china is. This week you are both the china and the beast.

Gemini (May 21-June 21)

Sorry to spoil your fun, Gemini, but you're going to have to make some pretty deep decisions. There's no way around it. Please calm and collect your spazzy self and make your decisions from a place of optimistic faith, rather than freaking-out scarcity or gloomy confusion. Bonus riddle: Sometimes not making a decision is a decision.

Cancer (June 22-July 22)

In order to eventually be happy, dear Cancer, you may have to make a far-reaching, long-term, big-picture decision that requires you to slug and slosh through some temporary, short-term, immediate sadness, anger, or just plain shitty feelings. Sorry! These issues will play out around your friends and family.

Leo (July 23-Aug. 22)

Leo, you're actually going to have a good week! Everyone is happy about that. You cats really deserve it, what with all the crap you've been dealing with recently. But please don't take the good vibe and cannonball off the front porch with it; rather, use this bright time to create some boundaries.

Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

Virgo, we hope this advice will be monumentally helpful to you this week: When caught in a sticky situation, you sometimes have to get closer to one hazard in order to get away from another. Take a good long look at the hard places you may be stuck between, figure out which of the two evils is less threatening, and execute your escape.

Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

We see that you're reaching out, Libra, but are you reaching out with fistfuls of fear? With armfuls of base desire? Or are you opening to the people with buckets of love streaming from your fingers? Loss and relationships will be triggers this week; as you struggle through the pain, make sure your motives are pure – they're the only thing you can control.

Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

Scorpio, you've got to suss out your situation, and we want you to do so with a clear head and creative intentions. There's so much worry and fear in your Scorpionic realm this week, we're scared you might respond by indulging in whacked-out emotions and getting all jumpy and impulsive. Take a deep breath or something.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

Sag, there's no stopping the waves of change crashing down on your beachfront property this week. And these changes actually have the power to make you superhappy, but you need to be participating in them, and from a crafty vantage point. Be strategic! Choose experiences that are creative and enable you to expand your empire.

Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

We know you hate when we tell you not to go with your brain, Cap, but this is one of those weeks when your brain isn't much help. Yup, that glob of know-it-all simply doesn't have it together right now; it's lacking the information you need to make intelligent decisions. Make like a Pisces and go with your gut.

Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

If you want to multiply your wealth and accomplishments, Aquarius, you have to celebrate the wealth and accomplishments you've already got. It's a great week to make some serious cash, but the universe will only beef up your bank account if she's sure you're enjoying what you've already earned.

Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)

Pisces, you need a little you time this week. Tell anyone clamoring for a piece of you to back off, and devote some much-needed energy to yourself. There's a lot going on in your world, and a lot of room to initiate things and take exciting chances, but you look fatigued and dehydrated. Take care of yourself first.

Award-winning writer Michelle Tea and intuitive counselor Jessica Lanyadoo have been fraternizing with fate together for the past seven years. Call Lanyadoo for an astrology or tarot reading at (415) 336-8354. Write to Double Team at lovedoubleteam@hotmail.com.