Last-minute Santa

A procrastinator's guide to shopping on Christmas Eve.

By Forrest Caskey

'Twas the night before Christmas

When all through the town,

Barely a store was open,

You searched up and down.

Last year was easy – you got everyone a vintage trucker's cap,

But now you haven't bought a damn thing, you miserable sap.

When what to your wondering eyes should appear

But a list of stores, one for each neighborhood (this writer's a dear).

'Cause now you can do all your shopping in a one-stop flash,

And you'll be able to do it without spending too much cash.

These shops are open late enough so you can do this really quick.

With all this good news, who said there's no Saint Nick?

Granted, a corporate megastore is easy but lame.

It shadows out the local treasures, let's list the culprits by name:

No Wal-Mart, no Target, no Saks, nor Costco,

Nor Nordstrom, nor Macy's, nor especially Home Depot.

Instead, support local retailers whose gifts cover each wall.

Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away, all!

Berkeley

Each year Berkeley Potters Guild (731 Jones, 510-524-7031) hosts a holiday sale featuring handmade ceramics and pottery from local artists at affordable prices. Give the gift of irony with teacups featuring dancing devils, or choose from the guild's large selection of kitchenware, vases, menorahs, and coffee mugs. Open 10 a.m.-6 p.m.

Bernal Heights

Heartfelt (436 Cortland, 415-648-1380) offers a variety of games for all ages, such as books of the popular adult puzzle Sudoku, cute socks for the kids, and old-fashioned secretary-receivers resurrected as cell phone headpieces. Open 11 a.m.-6 p.m.

Castro

Chrome toasters, pastel desk lamps, board games, boas, and a large assortment of items to stuff your ... stocking can all be found on the shelves of Cliff's Variety (479 Castro, 415-431-5365). Open 8 a.m.-8:30 p.m.

Cole Valley

If Cole Hardware (956 Cole, 415-753-2653) doesn't have it, who does? Handbags, candles, wine racks, decorative thermoses, and fancy kites clutter every aisle and wall. Open 8 a.m.-7:30 p.m.

Market Street

Doubling as an art gallery and odd-gift superstore, National Product (1845 Market, 415-255-1920) presents a wide array of bizarre vintage items; pop-culture books; modern, iconic T-shirts; and, coincidentally, art. Open 11 a.m.-4 p.m.

Haight Street

Whether it's a cat-butt magnet set, an off-the-wall guide to life, or a fire-spitting nun, the large stock of random items at Happy Trails (1728 Haight, 415-831-2264) guarantees each friend and family member on your list will have something comical to open this holiday season. Open 9 a.m.-10 a.m.

Hayes Valley

By supplying any item necessary for your travel needs, Flight 001 (525 Hayes, 415-487-1001) becomes a good place to find gifts such as games, unique clocks and radios, designer luggage, handmade paper journals, and a minibar complete with stirrers, shot glasses, and a corkscrew. Open 10 a.m.-9 p.m.

Inner Sunset

Wishbone (601 Irving, 415-242-5540) features a large collection of pop-culture items for all ages and tastes. Mr. Potato Head washcloths, the Geek Chic guide to being a hip nerd, jewelry, toys, and trinkets for the car are just some of the diverse options at this busy Sunset store. Open 10:30 a.m.-7 p.m.

Japantown/Western Addition

Although primarily a Japanese toy collector's store, Super 7 (1630 Post, 415-409-4700) provides plenty of other merchandise, such as pencil illustrations, books, T-shirts, stylish handbags, toothy monster dolls, and a large supply of stocking stuffers. Open 11 a.m.-8:30 p.m.

Marina

Each person on your shopping list would be delighted to receive a gadget from ATYS (2149 Union, 415-441-9220). From wine glasses posing as door chimes to high-tech tea balls, designers and engineers have created these products to blend modern aesthetics with utilitarian needs. Open 11 a.m.-8 p.m.

Mission

The items lining the shelves of Galeria de la Raza (2857 24th St., 415-206-9242) beautifully reflect the vibrancy and color of the surrounding neighborhood. Nearly all the Mexican folk art, baby mermaid statues holding watermelons, scarves, ceramics, jewelry, and hand-carved donkeys on display are made by local craftspeople. Open 10 a.m.-7:30 p.m.

Noe Valley

Besides having a helpful staff and radiant color scheme whose vibrant hues will intoxicate you into a holiday stupor, Just for Fun (3982 24th St., 415-285-4068) packs its shelves tight with, well, everything. Creative ornaments, games, photo albums, mini-board games doubling as key chains, funny pillows, and a large supply of Hanukkah gifts are just a few of the many items waiting to find their way into someone's home. Open 10 a.m.-6 p.m.

North Beach

Aside from the $25,000 suit of samurai armor, you'll find quite a few bargains, such as kimonos for $10, at Asia Galleries (1534 Grant, 415-392-9127). Even the low-cost artifacts purchased at this store will be sure to rouse a story. Open 11 a.m.-6 p.m.

Oakland

From the locally made chocolate-covered sunflower seeds to the imported German glass bowls, items for sale at Pelago (6134 Medau, 510-339-7090) create a diverse shopping experience. Baby items, vases, jewelry, and stationery are just some of your choices when looking for a gift for that hard-to-please person. Open 10 a.m.-4 p.m.

Pacific Heights

Chandeliers dangling from the ceiling, masks grinning from the walls, and erect wooden figurines all contribute to the eerie fun house of gift items at Cottage Industry (2326 Fillmore, 415-885-0326). Open 11 a.m.-7 p.m.

Polk Gulch

Though its size might pale in comparison to the neighboring, large discount stores, Nicky's Gift Shop (1617 Polk, 415-673-9025) stands tall when it comes to quality gift items. Betty Boop Diner utensil holders and lamp shades, Swiss Army knives, and designer pen sets are just some of the many gift ideas found at Nicky's. Open 10 a.m.-6 p.m.

Potrero Hill

Collage Gallery (1345 18th St., 415-282-4401) lives up to its name with brightly colored gift items such as clocks, jewelry, reptilian bobble animals, and unique desk paraphernalia scattered throughout the store. Open noon-6 p.m.

Presidio Heights

Nestled cozily between the triborder region of Presidio, Laurel, and Pacific Heights, Forrest Jones (3274 Sacramento, 415-567-2483) features a maze of merchandise to satisfy each member of the family. Roger Gallet soaps, Karen Donleavy coffee mugs, fancy wicker baskets, and rows of creative kitchen items are just some of the many options available at this somewhat high-end everything-store. Open 10 a.m.-6 p.m.

Richmond

Normally an office-supply and stationery shop, Gables (5636 Geary, 415-751-8152) comes alive for the holidays by filling its space with novelty gift items such as Total Bitch Bubble Bath, build-your-own-remote-control sets, poop books, glow-in-the-dark faucet lights, and funky slippers. Open 9 a.m.-6 p.m.

Russian Hill

Miniature domino pieces, Monopoly houses, pocket Hawaiian shirts, and baby Buddhas are just a few of the stocking stuffers found at Polk-a-Dot Stationery (1575 Pacific, 415-346-0660). Don't despair if you are looking for gifts large enough to wrap. Bigger items, such as scarves, games, mantelpieces, and charming desk/office supplies, are also available. Open 11:30 a.m.-7:30 p.m.

West Portal

Irish Delights (77 West Portal, 415-664-1250) proves quality Irish products do not always have to be green, gold, and white. Satisfy the entire family with a large collection of Irish-made china for Mom, a handmade sweater for Dad, and some Irish chocolates for your siblings ... if you don't break down and devour them yourself. Open 10:30 a.m.-5:30 p.m.