double team psychic dream

by michelle tea and jessica lanyadoo

Dec. 28-Jan. 3

Aries (March 21-April 19)

You need some alone time, Aries. Normally when we prescribe alone time for people, we imagine them taking a bubble bath or something. But not you, not this week. We see you running around the block, solo, again and again, till you've burned off some bad energy and are fit for company again.

Taurus (April 20-May 20)

Taurus, you people are famous for your plodding advancement through the world. And we here at DTPD are big fans of such pacing. It's slow and steady and, generally speaking, wins the proverbial race. This week we'd like you to plod toward a freer and less encumbered expression of who you are.

Gemini (May 21-June 21)

Gemini, have you been taking some shit? 'Cause this week would be a good time to stop. Slowly but steadily, arrange some boundaries that protect you from people or situations that have been working your last nerve. You're full of strength and excellent Gemini energy; put it in the use of self-care.

Cancer (June 22-July 22)

The struggle you're involved in, Cancer, is the struggle of your consciousness to shift to a deeper level. It's sort of intense, and you'll really be feeling it this week. The coming days hold lots of opportunity for fear to take hold and provoke a backslide, so make sure you're being really sweet to yourself, OK?

Leo (July 23-Aug. 22)

When in doubt – trust us, Leo, you'll be in doubt a lot this week – do something positive for the world. A random act of kindness or something. It'll provide the reality check you need, and it will dissipate some of your nagging worry. Frankly, you're an astrological mess right now. Stay connected to your own goodness.

Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

We thought Leo was wearing the Sucks to Be You tiara, but you snatched it right off her head! OK, seriously, Virgo: You're dealing with loss and sadness this week. There's loss and sadness in the world, and then there's loss and sadness inside you. You can't make it good, but you can make it more bearable.

Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

Libra, there are a million ways to change and move forward, and this week you're quite naturally experiencing brand-new methods of doing so. Cool! We suggest choosing the things that will help you score a greater freedom to express yourself.

Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

Scorpio, you have to let go of something this week. And what you wind up saying good-bye to might be pretty fricking monumental, so we beg you to stay really checked in with yourself. There are things that absolutely need to be dealt with right now, and it looks like they're residing in your relationship sphere.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

Hands off, Sag! You need to allow things to develop in their own time and their own way. Being a messy meddler will only mess everything up. Duh! Don't worry – things are moving at a brisk clip, and it all should be resolved quite soon. In the meantime, stay present and do what you do best: Have fun.

Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

Capricorn, remember back in the '90s when all the sensitive New Age guys were reading Way of the Peaceful Warrior? You don't? Um, well, that shows you where we were hanging out. Anyway, that's sort of like you this week. You're a warrior of intimacy. We see you aggressively yielding – and finding peace and power in your vulnerability.

Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

This week, Aquarius, you are out for perfection. And you're trying to achieve it by juggling all the different aspects of yourself and your world until you come up with the perfect combo – kind of like Diddy on Making the Band. If it gets frustrating and you feel like throwing in the towel, instead dream up a whole new way to work that towel.

Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)

You are suffering from excessive emotionality this week, Pisces. We believe it's common enough to your sign, but still, we're sure it feels crappy. May we suggest, in the future, that you not build castles out of sand? Like Jimi Hendrix told us, they fall into the sea and whatnot. It's hard for you to manifest your intentions when they're so overwrought and amorphous.

Award-winning writer Michelle Tea and intuitive counselor Jessica Lanyadoo have been fraternizing with fate together for the past seven years. Call Lanyadoo for an astrology or tarot reading at (415) 336-8354. Write to Double Team at lovedoubleteam@hotmail.com.