|
Skate and die Roller disco invades the Castro! By Dennis Harveya&eletters@sfbg.com
The history of disco music was long, was glorious (at least early on), and arguably isn't over yet. The history of disco movies, on the other hand, was short and inglorious. There was Saturday Night Fever, sure. But what it inspired was a brief trail of theatrical stink-up that began badly with 1978's Thank God It's Friday and ended catastrophically with 1980's summit meeting between the Village People, Bruce Jenner, and Nancy Walker, Can't Stop the Music. Most of these movies remain bad, as opposed to so bad they're good. An almost blanket exception, however, can be made for the memorably fragrant flirtations Hollywood had with that subgenre among subgenres, the Roller Disco Movie (or RDM, for short). Perhaps inspired to particular giddiness by the inherently cinematic spectacle of flared leisure suits and hot-pantsed bralessness in motion, RDMs still smell as sweet as a late-'70s night of rubber wheel-burn, parking-lot pot breath, and fleeting frottage to the Andrea True Connection. Midnites for Maniacs series impresario Jesse Ficks is throwing his retro-trash spotlight on just that golden moment with a one-night-only "Disco Roller-Skating Extravaganza" at the Castro Theatre, and hands down, 1979's Roller Boogie is the campsterpiece of the program. It stars erstwhile li'l Exorcist devil Linda Blair (very grown-up, and grown out) as a Beverly Hills rich girl who wants to hang with the cool kids at Venice Beach. As she says to her snooty mother, "I don't wanna be a concert violinist! That's a drag! That's a bummer!" You tell that bitch! No, what Linda really wants is to express herself at Pop's roller rink, partnering real-life roller-skating champion (and understandably never-seen-again first-time actor) Jim Bray. Too bad the rink is in danger of being shut down by bad guys. Landing somewhere between Brady Bunch episode, pedophile fantasia, and late-1950s American International Pictures youthsploitation classic, Roller Boogie is truly heck on wheels. Less fun in inverse proportion to its higher budget, 1980's Xanadu has blandroid Olivia Newton-John as a mythological Greek muse who comes to life to help a Venice Beach artist, played by hunky Michael Beck, who later noted, "The Warriors opened a lot of doors for me – which Xanadu then closed." Luckier was director Robert Greenwald, since reincarnated as a respected documentary muckraker (Wal-Mart: The High Cost of Low Price, Outfoxed). Gene Kelly shows up, twinkle-eyed, passing the torch to a new era of great Hollywood musicals. That twinkle must have hurt. But hey, if you like your actors outlined by a nimbus of DayGlo postproduction neon, this is your flick. The evening's rarity is 1979's Skatetown, U.S.A., billed as "The Rock and Roller Disco Movie of the Year!" (The people behind Roller Boogie must have taken great offense.) What a cast: top-billed rodent Scott Baio, Flip Wilson (occasionally as drag alter-ego Geraldine), a slutted-up Marcia Brady (a.k.a. Maureen McCormick) making out with Horshack (a.k.a. Ron Palillo), Little House-er Melissa Sue Anderson, littler-still Billy Barty, Laugh-In's Ruth Buzzi, Bewitched's Mrs. Kravitz, paper-bag sensation the Unknown Comic, 1979 Playboy Playmate turned 1980 murder victim Dorothy Stratten, and wholly inappropriate musical guest Dave Mason. Plus tons of actual LA roller-disco troupes – you can tell they thought this was their ticket to Broadway – and two genuinely talented dancers showcased as good and bad guy. Not much happened subsequently for acrobatic, surfer-looking blond Greg Bradford. But the very Warriors-style villain (he's even barely dressed, like Michael Beck was) is Patrick Swayze, making his film debut. His belt-whip skate solo smokes. With its Thank God It's Friday-esque mix of stupid skit comedy and stupider ensemble dramatics set in one venue over a single night's course, Skatetown, U.S.A. is a fungal time capsule that played less-than-fresh even at its moment of birth. Yet it's kind of great. Director William A. Levey is at his peak (in the wake of Blackenstein, Wham Bam Thank You Spaceman, and Happy Hooker Goes to Washington), and Don Morgan's gleaming cinematography lets the lights bounce off the buffed wooden rink floor. Everybody looks good. What more did disco culture ever require? "DISCO ROLLER-SKATING EXTRAVAGANZA" Fri/27 Roller Boogie, 7:30 p.m. Xanadu, 9:45 p.m. Skatetown U.S.A., midnight Castro Theatre 429 Castro, SF $8.50-$12 (415) 621-5288 www.thecastrotheatre.com |
||||