Stage listings are compiled by Laurie Koh and Cheryl Eddy. Performance times may change; call venues to confirm. Reviewers are Robert Avila, Rita Felciano, Deborah Giattina, Karen McKevitt, and Lara Shalson.

THEATER
OPENING

D*Face New Conservatory Theatre Center, 25 Van Ness; 861-8972, www.nctcsf.org. $15-25. Previews Thurs/26-Sat/28, 8pm. Opens Sun/29, 2pm. Runs Thurs-Sat, 8pm; Sun, 2pm. Through Feb 19. New Conservatory Theatre Center presents playwright and performer Michael Phillis's comedic look at awkward adolescence.

Take Me for a Ride ... Cute Girl! Theatre Rhinoceros, 2926 16th St; 861-5079, www.therhino.org. $15-35. Previews Thurs/26-Fri/27, 8pm. Opens Sat/28, 8pm. Runs Wed-Sat, 8pm; Sun, 3pm (Sun/29, show at 7pm). Through Feb 25. Theatre Rhinoceros performs Karole Langlois's all-girl play, set behind the scenes at the Theatre Rhino.

Theater District New Conservatory Theatre Center, 25 Van Ness; 861-8972, www.nctcsf.org. $22-40. Previews Fri/27-Sat/28 and Feb 1-3, 8pm; Sun/29, 2pm. Opens Feb 4, 8pm. Runs Wed-Sat, 8pm; Feb 12, 19, 26, and March 5, 2pm. Through March 5. The New Conservatory Theatre Center's Pride Season Eleven continues with Richard Kramer's comic drama about a teenager who moves in with his father and his father's boyfriend.

BAY AREA

The Master Builder Aurora Theatre, 2081 Addison, Berk; (510) 843-4822, www.auroratheatre.org. $28-45. Previews Fri/27-Sat/28 and Feb 1, 8pm; Sun/29, 2pm. Opens Feb 2, 8pm. Runs Wed-Sat, 8pm; Sun, 2 and 7pm (no 7pm show Sun/29). Through March 5. In honor of Henrik Ibsen's centenary, Aurora Theatre Company performs a world-premiere translation of his autobiographical drama.

The Taffetas Altarena Playhouse, 1409 High, Alameda; (510) 523-1553, www.altarena.org. $15-18. Opens Fri/27, 8pm. Runs Fri-Sat, 8pm; Sun, 2pm. Through Feb 19. Altarena Playhouse presents this musical journey through the '50s.

ONGOING

Beyond Therapy Shelton Theater, 533 Sutter; 433-1226, www.jeanshelton.com. $20-25. Thurs-Sat, 8pm. Open-ended. The Shelton Theater presents Christopher Durang's comedy about therapists and their patients.

Burn This New Conservatory Theatre Center, 25 Van Ness; 861-8972, www.nctcsf.org. $20-38. Wed-Sat, 8pm; Sun, 2pm. Through Feb 19. New Conservatory Theatre Center's Pride Season Eleven continues with Lanford Wilson's drama about how the death of a dancer impacts his former roommates.

Emperor Norton I Dark Room Theater, 2263 Mission; 401-7987, www.darkroomsf.com. $15. Fri/27-Sat/28, 7:30pm; Sun/29, 3pm. You have to love the spirit behind this new musical comedy about San Francisco's most beloved historical figures. In the 1850s, Joshua Norton was a rich San Francisco businessman until his attempt to corner the rice market rendered him bankrupt. He then donned naval regalia and marched into the San Francisco Bulletin's office with a proclamation that declared himself emperor of the United States – which the paper published. Over the years, he issued more proclamations, including ones that dissolved Congress and ordered the building of a bridge between Oakland and San Francisco. He even printed his own money. In Impossible Productions' charming musical, written by Kim Axelrod-Ohanneson and Marty Ohanneson-Axelrod, Emperor Norton is a slightly crazed man of the people. He sees the darker side of Gold Rush-era San Francisco, with Barbary Coast pickpockets and discrimination against the Chinese, yet truly believes the city – and its citizens – can rise from the ashes like a phoenix. Now, this isn't a big-budget musical: the stage too small for set pieces, much less all-out dance numbers. But, really, that hardly matters. With terrific singers and comical songs, slutty dance hall girls, and the scene-stealing antics of Norton's dogs (played by humans, of course), this love letter to the first and last emperor of the U.S. is a must-see guilty pleasure. (McKevitt)

In On It Thick House, 1695 18th St; 821-4849, www.encoretheatrecompany.org. $20-25. Thurs-Sat, 8pm. Through Feb 26. Encore Theatre Company performs Daniel MacIvor's deconstruction of the playwright's thought process, presented via a play-within-a-play performed by a pair of lovers.

Lestat Curran Theater, 445 Geary; (415) 512-7770, www.ticketmaster.com. $30-90. Wed/25-Sat/28, 8pm (also Wed/25 and Sat/28, 2pm); Sun/29, 2pm. Anne Rice's popular series of vampire novels is the basis for this anemic new musical, a pre-Broadway world premiere courtesy of Best of Broadway. The story of a handsome, impetuous young aristo-turned-lonely-vampire (played by Hugh Panaro), who self-destructively creates a dysfunctional family in his own image, much of the musical's plot draws from the events in a book previously adapted to the screen, Interview with the Vampire. Singing and performances are competent if rarely captivating, but it's hard to care in so vapid and unsuspenseful an evening of undead entertainment, which never finds its center or a compelling groove. The musical score from legendary songwriting team Elton John and Bernie Taupin doesn't help, being (one or two moments excepted) surprisingly bland. The scenic design, meanwhile, making copious use of projected backdrops and several impressively surreal animated film segments, resolves too often into a mottled and gaudy muddle onstage. But with the other elements here so weak, the fantasy images at least make Lestat a contender for video game status down the road. (Avila)

The Maids Exit Stage Left, 156 Eddy; 419-3584, www.cuttingball.com. $15-20. Fri-Sat, 8pm. Through Feb 25. The Cutting Ball Theater performs Martin Crimp's new translation of Jean Genet's double-murder drama.

Menopause the Musical Theatre 39 at Pier 39, Two Beach St; 433-3939, www.menopausethemusical.com. $46.50. Wed-Sat, 8pm (also Wed, 2pm and Sat, 4pm); Sun, 1 and 4pm. Open-ended. Jeanie Linders's musical comedy celebrates women who are facing "the change."

The Mystery Plays SF Playhouse, 536 Sutter; 677-9596, www.ticketweb.com. $18-60. Wed-Sat, 8pm (also Sat, 3pm). Through Feb 11. SF Playhouse presents the West Coast premiere of up-and-coming New York playwright Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa's mystery-feature double bill, a self-referential homage to classic TV chillers, as well as to the likes of H.P. Lovecraft and Hitchcock, hosted by a Rod Serling-like master of mysteries (Rod Gnapp, who also does double duty as perfectly etched cop characters in both tales). In the first, The Filmmaker's Mystery, a young cineaste (T. Edward Webster) has a stranger-on-a-train encounter that just gets stranger, after a rail accident finds him stalked by the shade of his fellow passenger (Craig Neibaur). The second piece, Ghost Children, is a more realistic if creepy drama about a woman (Christina Anselmo) who returns home after many years still unsure if she can meet with the imprisoned brother (Chris Yule) who butchered their family when she was a girl. The playwright unfolds the mystery behind each story with skill, imagination, and humor – though despite the heavy accent on faith and the unknowable here, the morals uncovered can seem straightforwardly mundane. A bit too much first-person narration, in the first episode especially, can hinder the creepiness or suspense of the piece at points too. But Aguirre-Sacasa spins a good yarn, and the fine cast in codirectors' Susi Damilano and Lauren English's well-paced production – boosted by Bill English's abstract yet evocative set, Steven Klems's forceful sound design, and Jon Retsky's haunted lighting – certainly knows how to sell it. (Avila)

*Not a Genuine Black Man Marsh, 1062 Valencia; 826-5750. $15-22. Extended run: Thurs-Fri, 8:30pm; Sat, 5pm. Through Feb 18. What, the unapologetically middle-class Brian Copeland asks, is the real meaning behind the phrase "a genuine black man"? By way of an answer, the stand-up comic and KGO radio host offers up a simultaneously funny and disarmingly frank story about growing up African American in the racist suburb that was San Leandro in the early 1970s. Letting his narrative bounce back and forth between his boyhood memories and a period of depression that overtook him as a parent in 1999 – and interlacing the autobiography with verbatim utterances from both sides of the fight his family joined to desegregate the city – Copeland brings admirable chops as a comedian to bear on some difficult and disturbing, if ultimately hopeful, material. (Avila)

Odd By Nature: An Evening in Sean Owens' Shorts Exit Theatre, 156 Eddy; 673-3847, www.theexit.org. $10-20. Thurs-Sat, 8pm. Through Feb 4. Exit Theatre presents five short, comedic plays by Sean Owens.

*"SF Sketchfest: The San Francisco Sketch Comedy Festival" Eureka Theatre, 215 Jackson, SF; Purple Onion, 140 Columbus, SF; Cobb's Comedy Club, 915 Columbus, SF; Punch Line, 444 Battery, SF; and 142 Throckmorton Theatre, 142 Throckmorton, Mill Valley; (415) 675-9707, www.sfsketchfest.com. $10-35. Wed/25-Sun/29, 8pm (also Fri/27-Sat/28, 10:30pm; Sun/29, 2pm). Check Web site for complete schedule. The idea of having a former Kid in the Hall open SF Sketchfest (which took satisfyingly bizarre flight last year with Bruce McCulloch) has become something of a very cool trend with this year's appearance by Dave Foley. Actually, Foley was there more as charmingly unprepared MC and proud co-father of the headline piece, "Dead Diva, a.k.a. 'The Tribute.'<\!q>" A fun, sassy lounge act featuring singer-performer-writers Tracy De Nisi, Crissy Guerrero, Laura Milligan, and Pinky Turzo, "Diva" follows four bitchy backup singers getting their pathetic lives back together for one last shot at fame (in the wake of a wake none of them bothered to attend). Opening the show was an intermittently successful local trio, Boomtime (Moshe Kasher, Alex Koll, and Brent Weinbach), who like to dance around in their underwear a lot, which is OK, but whose best bit might have been when they were all offstage doing voices for the disembodied comedy heads of the future. The fifth annual Sketchfest sports another impressive lineup this year – notable returns by Upright Citizens Brigade members (and friends), the LA duo Hard 'n Phirm, and SF's Kasper Hauser – with the slew of tempting local and national acts including Will Franken, New York City's Naked Babies (featuring the Daily Show's Rob Corddry), and a tribute to Mr. Show's Bob Odenkirk and David Cross. (Avila)

*Sexual Perversity in Chicago Geary Theater, 415 Geary; 749-2228, www.act-sf.org. $12-66. Tues-Sat, 8pm (also Wed and Sat, 2pm; no matinee Wed/25); Sun, 2pm (also Sun/29, 7pm). Through Feb 5. As an investigation of the morbid convolutions of American heterosexual romance, David Mamet's Sexual Perversity in Chicago has hardly aged. The playwright's first commercial production, and a major theatrical success when it premiered off-Broadway in 1976 (paired with his other short play The Duck Variations), Sexual Perversity concerns the romantic hang-ups and letdowns of four Chicago twentysomethings: office mates Bernie (Gareth Saxe) and Danny (David Jenkins), and roommates Joan (Elizabeth Kapplow) and Deborah (Marjan Neshat). While it can hardly be expected to have the same impact of then-twentysomething Mamet's bold debut, American Conservatory Theater's slick and well-cast production all in all proves a worthy and enjoyable revival. Thanks partly to Mamet's rich linguistic palette and his capacity to coldly (and hilariously) deploy it in the service of brutal portraiture, Sexual Perversity even retains a degree of shock value in its verbal and thematic (never graphic) explicitness, on ground long colonized by similarly frank investigations of heterosexual desire and romance in late-20th-century America. (Avila)

The Spot Buriel Clay Theatre, 726 Fulton; 1-866-468-3399, www.ticketweb.com. $18. Fri-Sat, 8pm. Through Feb 4. San Francisco Recovery Theatre presents the world premiere of Geoffrey Grier's fact-based drama about a teenage couple dealing with an unexpected pregnancy.

Two Rooms Off-Market Theater, 965 Mission; 896-6477, www.custommade.org. $15-25. Thurs-Sat, 8pm. Through Feb 11. Custom Made Theatre Company performs Lee Blessing's drama about an American held hostage abroad and his wife's desperate efforts to have him released.

V the Ultimate Variety Show V Theater, Pier 39; 39-VSHOW, www.vtheshow.com. $24-44. Nightly, 6 and 8pm. Ongoing. A revolving array of variety acts highlight this family-friendly show, originally produced in Las Vegas.

*"Women on the Way Festival" Dance Mission, 3316 24th St; 289-2000, www.ticketweb.com, www.ftloose.org. $15-20. Thurs/26-Sun/29, 8pm. This week: Davalos Dance Company, Chinese Clown Cabaret, Talismanic Physical Theatre, Fresh Meat Productions, Eat Cake Productions, Amanda Moody, and danceNAGANUMA. Check Web site for complete schedule. Now in its sixth year, this festival of emerging female artists is a smorgasbord of dance, solo performance, theater, and even clowning. I wasn't able to catch all nine acts but picked out three promising ones. After the critically acclaimed success of her Serial Murderess several years ago, Amanda Moody's solo show, D'Arc, proves a highly anticipated premiere that juxtaposes Joan of Arc's story with that of a contemporary middle-aged housewife following the worldly adventures of her activist daughter. Unfortunately, D'Arc is still a work in progress: Some of the scenes don't gel, and Moody appeared to be using notes on a music stand. But her performance is still riveting, suffused with aching poetry. Chinese Clown Cabaret, with its infectious enthusiasm, is much more satisfying. Professional clown Jane Chen and her mother, Tair Chen, who has no background in performance save for this show, create a whimsical world filled with twisted, ukulele-accompanied songs about, say, deer hit by cars. While touching on mature subjects like interracial dating, drugs, and the angry artist, Jane retains a childlike aura of wonderment and truth, whether she's warning us about disgusting Chinese candy or throwing a temper tantrum when her mother tells her, "No!" With its idiosyncratic aesthetic and tender meditation on the mother-daughter relationship – not to mention outstanding performances – Chinese Clown Cabaret isn't one to miss. Eat Cake in the Bathroom, by Eat Cake Productions, is equally entertaining. Neurotic Edna Peccadillo searches for the formula for creativity, and what better place for artistic epiphany than in the bathtub or on the toilet? Edna dreams up vignettes about flipper-donning ballerinas and blindfolded aerialists, as well as some especially outrageous musings on getting back on the horse and being in the present. Hilarious storytelling, creative dance and kooky costumes equal one sweet treat. You go, girls. (McKevitt)

Your Nightgown is Jealous When You Dream and Symphony of Frogs Exit on Taylor, 277 Taylor; 673-3847, www.theexit.org. $10-20. Thurs-Sat, 8pm. Through Feb 11. Company-in-residence mugwumpin performs a double bill of original shows.

BAY AREA

9 Parts of Desire Berkeley Repertory Theatre's Thrust Stage, 2025 Addison, Berk; (510) 647-2949, www.berkeleyrep.org. $30-59. Opens Wed/25, 8pm. Runs Tues, Thurs-Sat, 8pm (also Sat/28, Feb 2, 11, 16, 25, March 2, and 4, 2pm); Wed and Sun, 7pm (also Sun, 2pm). Through March 5. Berkeley Repertory Theatre presents Mozhan Marno in Heather Raffo's solo play about women in war-torn Iraq.

Cabaret Ashby Stage, 1901 Ashby, Berk; (510) 841-6500, www.shotgunplayers.org. $15-50. Extended run: Thurs/26-Sun/29, 8pm. Even before we're welcomed by the spry and shady Emcee (Clive Worsley), the party is in full swing at the Kit Kat Klub – the festive world-within-a-world that epitomizes the final days of Weimar Germany, on the eve of the Nazi seizure of power, in John Kander and Fred Ebb's Cabaret. Shotgun Players' production of the darkly ebullient 1966 musical (with book by Joe Masteroff) goes all out in establishing that seamy ambience, where sexual and political promiscuity make for rich burlesque. At the same time, it more often succeeds with the display than with the substance in Cabaret's knowing spectacle. Seamlessly blending its realistic love story with a raunchy and satirical floor show, the story line follows an aspiring American novelist, Clifford Bradshaw (Cassidy Brown), who's come to Berlin looking for "something to write about." Lucky for him it's 1931. Director Russell Blackwood's lovingly detailed staging takes full advantage of the intimate environs of Shotgun's Ashby Stage to envelop the audience in the scene, turning the theater into a bawdy nightclub. Although propelled by its zesty chorus line, a rousing house band (music codirected by John Thomas and musician Dave Malloy), Andrea Weber's nimble and dynamic choreography, and capable if rarely exceptional renderings of Kander and Ebb's terrific cycle of songs, Blackwood's production is nevertheless an uneven ride, and in the end surprisingly weak in its ability to disturb and enthrall – surprising because the production reflects considerable insight and artistry in both design and execution. (Avila)

The Clean House Mountain View Center for the Performing Arts, 500 Castro, Mtn View; (650) 903-6000, www.theatreworks.org. $20-52. Tues, 7:30pm; Wed-Sat, 8pm (also Sat, 2pm; no 2pm show Feb 1); Sun, 2 and 7pm (no 7pm shows Feb 5 or 12). Through Feb 12. TheatreWorks performs Sarah Ruhl's romantic comedy about life and housework.

Killer Joe Marin Theatre Company, 397 Miller, Mill Valley; (415) 388-5208, www.marintheatre.org. $29-47. Tues, Thurs-Sat, 8pm (also Feb 2, 1pm; Feb 11, 2pm); Wed, 7:30pm (also Wed/25, 1pm); Sun, 2 and 7pm. Through Feb 12. See "Family Plot," page 58.

*The Pirates of Penzance New venue: Dean Lesher Regional Center for the Arts, 1601 Civic, Walnut Creek; (925) 943-7469, www.lamplighters.org. $12-42. Feb 2-4, 8pm (also Feb 4, 2pm); Feb 5, 2pm. It's easy to see why Gilbert and Sullivan's 1879 comic operetta remains among their most popular, especially in so smooth, vibrant, and full-sailed a production as this one from Lamplighters Music Theatre. The dexterous play and parody in Gilbert's insouciant, outright silly book and lyrics seize control of Victorian culture with unrelenting glee, while Sullivan's boisterous score (superbly realized by conductor Robert Wood and the Lamplighters Orchestra) lifts impecunious pirates, bobbing bobbies, and a fluttering gaggle of daughters belonging to a certain "model" Major General (Lawrence Ewing) high on a rolling tide of action and comedy. The chorusing crowds of pirates, policemen, and young ladies sing and act solidly throughout, while director Jane Hammett has made sure to assemble some exceptional talent in the principal parts, from would-be lovers Frederic (Brian Frutiger and Andrew Truett, alternating nights) and Mabel (Jennifer Ashworth and Anja Strauss, alternating) on down. And though Pirates' is the fluff dreams are made on, there's still more than historical curiosity to its satisfying send-up of a moral universe defined by asinine notions of duty and honor. (Avila)

Splinters ... And Other F-Words Northbrae Community Church, 941 Alameda, Berk; 1-800-838-3006, www.raggedwing.org. $12-25. Fri-Sat, 8pm. Through Feb 11. Ragged Wing Ensemble's second offering is a deconstruction of Hans Christian Anderson's The Snow Queen using elements from the fairy tale and a modern-day woman's memories of her difficult relationship with her father, which is all supposed to symbolize our cold, unfeeling society. But oddly enough, this ensemble performance distances the audience rather than inviting us into its world, no matter how much the beautiful stilt-walking Snow Queen addresses us directly. Part of the problem may lie in the play's basis in ritualistic theater – which also manifests in ritualistic language (some might say clichéd language), like the breakdown of a marriage: "I don't love you. I never loved you," the husband says. "What am I supposed to do now?" the wife says. And while the story of a woman dealing with her emotionally distant father and her own infertility can be universal, it can also make the piece come across as drama therapy – more compelling to the artists than to the audience. However, the play, written and directed by Andrea L. Hart, does have moments of brilliance, such as a truncated phone conversation between a father and daughter, or a boy's (a compelling Keith Davis) recitation of his essay on a "sense of joy," and other scenes anchored by Amy Sass's subtle and strong turn as the Woman and the professional poise exhibited by the chorus of middle- and high-school students. Ragged Wing has a strong aesthetic that it's committed to, and with time the group will be one of the East Bay's more exceptional companies. (McKevitt)

Twelfth Night Live Oak Theatre, 1301 Shattuck, Berk; (510) 649-5999, www.aeofberkeley.org. $12. Fri-Sat and Feb 16, 8pm. Through Feb 18. Actors Ensemble of Berkeley performs Shakespeare's romantic comedy.

Walkin' Talkin' Bill Hawkins ... In Search of My Father Marsh-Berkeley, Gaia Arts Center, 2118 Allston, Berk; 1-800-838-3006, www.themarsh.org. $15-22 (Thurs, pay what you can). Extended run: Thurs/26-Sat/28 and Feb 4-5, 7pm. An intimate, sometimes ecstatic, sometimes anguished personal tale, writer-performer W. Allen Taylor's solo show Walkin' Talkin' Bill Hawkins receives its world premiere at the Marsh's Berkeley theater. Just as the African American community of 1940s Cleveland discovered itself, in part, through the disembodied personality and style of Bill Hawkins, the city's first black DJ, a generation later, in the mid-1970s, Taylor began a personal journey of self-discovery by finding his own voice, otherwise known as "Allen Taylor and the AT Thang," over the airwaves of his Ohio college radio station. But from there the similarity grows both stranger and more complex, as his lifelong questions to his reticent mother regarding his absent father's identity finally yield the figure of the already married Hawkins, by then just recently passed away. With that painful dual moment of recovery and loss, Taylor and Walkin' enter into a kind of dialogue with that same Bill Hawkins (now fully detached from any earthly quarter), approaching the shadowy figure behind the radio personality through a common medium, a common love of music, and an extended family of relationships that reach into an era and community shaped by something as insubstantial yet definitive as a voice on the air. (Avila)

Walking the Dead Berkeley City Club, 2315 Durant, Berk; (510) 326-8197, www.theatreq.org. $15-20. Thurs-Sat, 8pm; Sun, 2pm. Through Oct 29. Theatre Q performs Keith Curran's drama set at a memorial service for a transgendered murder victim.

DANCE

Anna Halprin Dance Company Jewish Community Center of San Francisco, Kanbar Hall, 3200 California; 292-1233, www.jccsf.org/arts. Sat, 8pm; Sun, 2 and 7pm. $22-28. The 85-year-old dance icon and her company present the world premiere of Intensive Care, plus a revival of Parades and Changes.

Ronald K. Brown/Evidence Yerba Buena Center for the Arts Theater, 700 Howard; 978-ARTS, www.ybca.org. Sat, 8pm; Sun, 2pm. $18-35. See Pick box.

San Francisco Ballet War Memorial Opera House, 301 Van Ness; 865-2000, www.sfballet.org. Wed/25, Sat/28, Tues/31, and Feb 2-4, 8pm (also Feb 4, 1pm); Sun/29 and Feb 5, 2pm; Feb 1, 7:30pm. $8-199. The company kicks off its 2006 season with Swan Lake, featuring choreography by Helgi Tomasson and music by Tchaikovsky.

BAY AREA

Martha Graham Dance Company Stanford University, Memorial Auditorium, Stanford; (650) 725-ARTS, livelyarts.stanford.edu. Wed, 8pm. $28-46. The acclaimed company returns to the Bay Area for the first time in six years to perform Appalachian Spring, Cave of the Heart, and Sketches from Chronicle.

Pilobolus Dance Theatre Marin Veterans' Memorial Auditorium, Avenue of the Flags at Civic Center, San Rafael; (415) 499-6800, www.ticketmaster.com. Sat, 8pm. $18-50. The modern company performs Aquatica, Symbiosis, and Day Two.

Ross Dance Company Laney College, 900 Fallon, Oakl; (510) 834-5740, www.rossdance.com. Sat, 8pm. $12-15. The modern jazz company performs three premieres.

PERFORMANCE

"15 Minutes" Climate Theater, 285 Ninth St; 863-1076, www.improvalliance.org. Thurs-Fri, 8pm. $8-12. The San Francisco Improv Alliance performs long-form comedy.

*"Baila Conmigo" Metronome Dance Center, Block Party room, De Haro, between 16th St and 17th St; Sat, 7pm-11:30pm. $15 includes rumba lesson ($8, party only). This monthly queer Latin social dance features salsa, Argentine tango, a potluck dinner (7pm), and a beginning rumba lesson (7:30pm). The Latin Symbolics, Miss Cowgirl 2005 (Karin Jaffie), John Ross Studio Salsa Dancers, and others perform.

*BATS Improv Bayfront Theatre, Fort Mason Center, Marina at Laguna; www.improv.org. Fri, 8pm: "Rock 'n' Roll Theatresports: Holy S**t! vs. the Gentle Folk," $12-15. Sat, 8pm: "Rock 'n' Roll Theatresports: Girls and the Hall vs. the Gothamists," $12-15. Sun, 7pm: "Micetro," "Theatresports," and "Specialty," $5. In "Rock 'n' Roll Theatresports," a battle to the finish is being waged between six teams of veteran improvisers. But then every moment onstage is a battle to the finish in an improv tournament, where no one, beginning with the players, knows how anything is going to work out. It's exceptional fun finding out with these first-rate improv pros at work (or rather play) in the eight-week competition leading off Bay Area Theatresports' 20th anniversary season. The event is conducted and scored as an actual competition, and teams receive specific challenges from the audience, an opposing team, or judges, then create a story, musical, scene, or what-have-you by drawing on a shared lexicon of literally hundreds of theatre games, lightening-fast reflexes, an almost ESP-level rapport with teammates, and considerable powers of acting, mimicry, and cultural recall. A three-judge panel flashes scorecards for each (with the audience vocally rebuking unpopular decisions, and voting on which team rolls a very big die for extra points). Opening night found the Groupies (Kimberly MacLean, John Remak, and Rebecca Stockley) in a showdown with Holy S**t! (yes, they pronounce the asterisks and exclamation point), a Christian rock trio composed of John Kovacevich, Gerri Lawlor, and Tim Orr. Fresh ideas erupt from these people like zits from a teen. It's pretty amazing, and consistently hilarious. (Avila)

Big City Improv Shelton Theater, 533 Sutter; (510) 595-5597, www.bigcityimprov.com. Fri, 10pm. Ongoing. $15. The improv troop performs.

"The Burial at Thebes" Brava Theater, 2781 24th St; projectquixote.com. Fri-Sat, 8pm. $15-20. This West Coast premiere of renowned Irish poet Seamus Heaney's version of Antigone gets a hip, knowing, youthful production courtesy of the Quixote Project and Rococo Risqué. In the aftermath of the battle of Thebes, which destroyed the warring sons of Oedipus, the late king's daughter Antigone (Anne Francisco Worden) determines to bury her brother Polyneices despite new king Creon's (Ben Flax) decree denying the rebel's body seemly burial. The escalating and uncompromising showdown between the law of the gods and popular will, on one side, and the temporal authority of the state, on the other, insures more destruction all around. Director Erik Pearson's

90-minute humor- and music-leavened production – a mix

of ancient setting and swank 20th-century nightclub ambience – begins a bit dubiously and suffers somewhat from uneven casting, but soon finds focus and genuine intensity. A sharp four-piece band supports musical interludes by vocalist Ariela Morgenstern (singing jazzy originals as well as standards like "T'aint Nobody's Business") and a self-satisfied Creon crooning "I've Got the World on a String." Throughout, Heaney's limpid, mellifluous translation has undeniable power, put to fine effect by a persuasive Flax and Worden, as well as by Elisabeth Millican as blind seer Tiresias, Mick Mize's comical (security) guard, and Patrick Riley's prince Haemon (confronting father Creon on the royal racquetball court). (Avila)

"Dirty Little Secret" Empire Plush Room, 940 Sutter; 885-2800, www.empireplushroom.com. Ongoing. Fri-Sat, 11pm. $25. This evening of performance is a "roaring twenties revue."

Empire Plush Room York Hotel, 940 Sutter; www.empireplushroom.com. This week: Paula West performs "Tenth Anniversary at the Empire Plush Room" (Wed, 8pm and Thurs, 5pm; $32.50-39.50).

"First Look New Plays Festival" Zeum Theater, 221 Fourth St; 749-2228, www.act-sf.org. Fri-Sat, 8pm. $7-10 (festival pass, $40). American Conservatory Theater's First Look Series presents this festival of new works. This week: Donna Wants, by Karen Hartman.

"House of Burlesque" Benders Bar, 806 S. Van Ness; www.maraschinoproductions.com. Fri, 10pm. $8. Isis Star hosts this "classic striptease show."

*Killing My Lobster Marines Memorial Club and Hotel, Crystal Ballroom, 609 Sutter; 355-9988, ext 11. Fri, 8pm. $20. The sketch comedy troupe performs a "best-of" show in honor of the Independent Press Association's 10th anniversary.

"The Purple Friday Show" Purple Onion, 140 Columbus; 217-8400, www.caffemacaroni.com. Fri, 10pm. $5-7. Through Feb 24. Geoff Foster and Guy J. Jackson host a variety show.

*"The Romane Event" Make-Out Room, 3225 22nd St; www.freedirtmedia.com. Wed, 8pm. $7. Paco Romane hosts this monthly performance showcase, featuring comedians, musicians, and yo-yo champ Dr. Popular.

San Francisco Improv Cooperative Off-Market Gallery, 965 Mission; 368-9909, www.sfimprovcooperative.com. Mon, 8pm. Ongoing. $5. The improv collective hosts a "Monday Night Jam."

BAY AREA

"2.5 Minute Ride" Osher Marin Jewish Community Center, 200 N San Pedro, San Rafael; (415) 444-8000, www.marinjcc.org. Thurs, 7:30pm. $15.50-36. Lisa Kron performs her autobiographical show, a "roller-coaster ride through the Kron family album."

"Dream Sequence" Oakland Noodle Factory, 1255 26th St, Oakl; (510) 595-5536, www.nakedsouls.com. Sat, 9pm. $5-20. Naked Souls Artists Alliance and Trinitywolf Network copresent this all-ages event and DJ dance party, featuring performances by Sistas in the Pit, Company of Prophets, headRush, and Youth Speaks.

"Falstaff" Julia Morgan Theatre, 2640 College, Berk; (510) 841-1903, www.berkeleyopera.org. Sat/28 and Feb 3, 8pm; Feb 1, 7:30pm; Feb 5, 2pm. $10-40. Berkeley Opera performs the Verdi classic.

*"MacHomer" Roda Theater, 2015 Addison, Berk; (510) 548-9666, www.calshakes.org. Wed-Fri, 8pm; Sat, 7 and 10pm; Sun, 2pm. $30-35. Rick Miller performs his solo comedy adapted from Shakespeare and based on The Simpsons. Presented by California Shakespeare Theater.

"Shakespeare Intensive!" Berkeley Unitarian Fellowship, Fireside Room, 1924 Cedar, Berk; (510) 276-3871. Mon, 7:30pm. $5. Subterranean Shakespeare hosts a benefit series of staged readings to help pick a play for its next production. This week: King Lear.

"When God Winked" Dance Palace, Fifth St at B St, Point Reyes Station; (415) 663-1075, www.dancepalace.org. Sat, 8pm. $5-15. Ron Jones performs his solo show about working at the San Francisco Recreation Center for the Handicapped.

COMEDY

Brainwash 1122 Folsom; 861-3663. Thurs, 7pm: "Brainwash Comedy Open Mic," with host Tony Sparks, free.

Buriel Clay Theater 762 Fulton; tbhcafe@pacbell.net. Fri, 8:30pm: "Bernard's Funny Fridays," $15.

Café Royale 800 Post; 441-4099, www.caferoyale-sf.com. Thurs, 8:30pm: "Comedy Royale" with host Peter Bartlett, $5.

Canvas Gallery 1200 Ninth Ave; 504-0010. Tues, 8pm: "Comedy Open Mic Night," free.

Club Deluxe 1511 Haight; 552-6949. Mon, 9pm: "Stand-Up Showcase," with rotating hosts Leah Eva and Sam Arno, free.

Luggage Store 1007 Market; www.luggagetuesdays.blogspot.com. Tues, 8pm: Comedy open mic, free.

Mock Cafe 1074 Valencia; 826-5750, ext 5, www.themarsh.org. Sat, 9:30 and 11pm: Stand-up comedy, $7.

Niebaum-Coppola 916 Kearny; 291-1700, www.sfcomedycollege.com. Mon, 8:30pm: "Comedy Coppola Style," with host Kurtis Mathews, free.

Our Little Theater 287 Ellis; 928-4060, www.celebrateclitoris.com. Wed-Sat, 8pm: "Bay Area Comedy Showcase," $10-15.

Pier 39 Crystal Geyser Center Stage; 646-0776, www.comedyonthesquare.com. Fri, 3pm; Sat and Mon, noon and 1:30pm (also Mon, 3pm): Comedy juggler Fred Anderson performs, free.

San Francisco Comedy Club 50 Mason; 398-4129, www.laughalotproductions.com. Wed, 7:30pm: "Laugh Dammit!," $10. Fri, 8pm: "Friday Night Comedy," with host Eric Peterson, $10.

San Francisco Comedy College Clubhouse 414 Mason, Ste 705; www.sfcomedycollege.com. All shows free. Fri, 6pm: "SFCC New Faces." Fri, 8pm: "The Arsenal." Fri, 10pm: "Head to Headline." Sat, 6pm: "Petri Dish." Sat, 8pm: "The Stand-Up Project." Sat, 10pm: "Dangermouth." Sun, 6pm: "Funny Females."

SPOKEN WORD

Open mics take place almost every night in cafés throughout the Bay Area. If you want to perform, show up about half an hour before start time to put your name on the list. A day-by-day guide to spoken word events and featured readers:

WEDNESDAY: Canvas Gallery 1200 Ninth Ave, SF; (415) 504-0060, mike@westcoastvideo.net. "Open Mic Talent Showcase," 7:30pm, free. Space 180 180 Capp, SF; www.kearnystreet.org. "Road Show: Writers Share Stories about Place," with Han Pham, Jenny Eng, Mary Gow, Erin Reese, Sana Makhoul, Shannon Baker, Susanna Kwan, and Linda Watanabe-McFerrin, 7pm, $5.

THURSDAY: Dalva 3121 16th St, SF; (415) 290-5048. "Poetry Mission," with featured reader Jennifer Sweeney and open mic hosted by Elz, 7pm, donations accepted. 16th Street and Mission BART plaza 16th St at Mission, SF; (415) 255-9881. "CAI Street Arts Workshop," open mic, 9:30pm, free. EastSide Arts Alliance 2587 International Blvd, Oakl; (510) 533-6629. "Holla Back," open mic, 8:30-10:30pm, donations accepted. Mediterraneum Café 2475 Telegraph, Berk; (510) 526-5985, www.angelfire.com/poetry/wordbeat. "Word Beat Reading Series," with featured reader Jesse Beagle, 7pm, free. Railroad Expresso 705 Monterey, SF; (415) 333-4009. Open mic, 7pm, free.

SATURDAY: Red Vic Peace Center 1665 Haight, SF; (415) 864-1978. "Open Mic and Hot Tamales," 5pm, free. Java Source 343 Clement, SF; (415) 387-8025. Open mic, 9pm, free. Heller Lounge Martin Luther King Jr. Student Union, Bancroft at Telegraph, UC Berkeley, Berk; (510) 548-2350. "Asian American Poets," with Ed Bok Lee, Barbara Jane Reyes, and Justin Chin, 2pm, free. Bernal Yoga 461 Cortland, SF; droderick@gmail.com, www.bernalyoga.com. "Bernal Yoga Literary Series," with Ilya Kaminsky and Nora Pierce, 7pm, $5.

SUNDAY: Cody's Books 2454 Telegraph, Berk; (510) 845-7852. "Poetry Flash," with Amber Flora Thomas, Rose Black, and Joseph Zaccardi, 7:30pm, $2. Café Prague 584 Pacific, SF; (415) 905-8837. "Café Prague Reading Series," with featured reader Maya Lang, 4pm, free.

MONDAY: Purple Onion 140 Columbus, SF; (415) 217-8400, www.caffemacaroni.com. "Live at the Purple Onion," open mic hosted by the Kitchenettes, 7-10pm, $5. Priya Indian Cuisine 2072 San Pablo, Berk; berkeleypoetryexpress@yahoo.com. "Poetry Express" with featured readers Zara Raab and H.D. Moe, 7pm, free.

TUESDAY: Black Repertory Group Theatre 3201 Adeline, Berk; (510) 652-2120. "Twilight Tuesdays," open mic, 7-9pm, $5. Club Deluxe 1511 Haight, SF; www.thewordparty.com. "Poetry and Jazz Tuesdays," open mic hosted by Jennifer, Ingrid, and Daniel, 8pm, free. City Lights Booksellers 261 Columbus, SF; (415) 362-8193, www.citylights.com. Poet Forrest Gander discusses his new works, A Faithful Existence and Eye Against Eye, 7pm, free. Intersection for the Arts 446 Valencia, SF; (415) 626-2787, www.theintersection.org. Poet Francisco X. Alarcon reads, with Beto Palomar, Chrissy Anderson Zavala, and poets from Santa Fe Indian School and WritersCorps, 7:30pm, $5-15.