And it stayed tough all the way through. With trainers like Simon Redmond, Paul Wade, and Ed Gutierrez, all accomplished fighters dedicated to health and fitness, there are no breaks and there are no shortcuts. Their philosophy is hard work, but smart work. As each week passed the intelligence behind the workouts came to light much the way the rickety old docks on the Bay brightened as the morning sun made everything pink as we ran by in two lines wearing our gloves, groin guards, and headgear. Different muscle groups were put to the brink and then given days off, while other muscle groups became the focus. When everything was sore it was time to hit things and jump rope some more. I would wake up in the dark at 5:15 and muscles that felt like they hadn’t been used since before Bush was in office were suddenly bulging in the mirror. Clif bars and water started to taste normal, and I forgot what a good burrito tasted like. The next thing you know, six weeks were almost over and all there was to think about is setting the alarm for 8am again…And getting in that ring that was always looming at the back of the gym…

While the fight itself remains a blur, and I abandoned half of the technique I had trained myself so faithfully on during the course of it, it was a decidedly surreal experience. Getting up in front of over a hundred screaming people and being in a roped-off stage is incomparable (unless you count the time I got pantsed in front of my art class while giving a presentation in 6th grade). It’s brutally hot and being above everyone, it feels as if every weakness you’ve ever had is exposed. There is fear and nervousness holding you back, but an instinctual impulse to defend yourself and to validate the hard work driving you forward. I barely remember any details except when that first right hand landed and the crowd generated a collective, “OHHHH!!!”

Everything speeds up and you forget to breathe, your vision loses focus, but become fixed on your opponent’s head, and you just react with your feet or your hands to every movement. Sometimes you choose right and land or dodge a punch, and other times your head rings a bit and you do your best to just move to elude the next one…Then it’s over, and you finally breathe, while your head feels as if it’s floating above your body like a cloud somehow harnessed to the earth, with thoughts that are disconnected from everything else. In this state, it’s exceptionally comforting to greet the friends and fellow bootcampers that are so happy to be there for you.

At the start I had the lofty idea that this could be a life-changing experience. I knew going in that this idea was presumptuous, since in life’s linear path it’s difficult to grasp the idea of change, and even more complicated to trace it over time. While it’s wrong to say that my life changed, something was definitely affirmed through this. There are alternatives out there, lifestyles that open new doors of experience, and if you have the determination and dedication to see them through the reward can be a real knockout.