The Guardian's San Francisco Blog

Intrepid reporter Justin Juul hits the streets each week for our Meet Your Neighbors series, interviewing the Bay Area folks you'd like to know most.

Jerry Carson, the proud owner of The Cake Gallery in SOMA, which specializes in erotic cakes, is one of the nicest dudes you will ever meet. It wouldn’t be so weird if you bumped into him on the street or saw him at the grocery store, but when you’re standing in his tiny den of cock-cakes and pussy-pops, his demeanor seems a little out of place. Carson serves as a walking, breathing challenge to our stereotypical assumptions about x-rated bakers. He doesn’t wear chaps -- at least not to work -- and he doesn’t have a handle-bar mustache. In fact, he actually looks and dresses a lot like my high school history teacher back in Michigan. Hmmm.

SFBG: So what’s your deal? How’d you find yourself in San Francisco?
Jerry Carson: Well…when I got out of the Army in 1972, I decided I didn’t want to live in Pittsburgh anymore, and I had always loved San Francisco, so I just sort of packed up and moved. I’ve been here ever since.

SFBG: And that’s when you decided to fulfill your lifelong dream of owning an x-rated cake store?
Carson: Yeah…well, I bought this shop from a gay couple about twenty years ago. They used to run a normal cake-shop, but when I got a hold of it, I looked around at the neighborhood and thought these people need something different. I also wanted to have an excuse to talk dirty to girls on the phone.

SFBG: When you say “something different,” are you referring to the gigantic cock/ass cake with spunk-icing in the glass case over there?

After the jump: Safe for eating, but NSFW!

Carson: Pretty much, yeah. But we do other stuff too. We make cakes that look like 50-Cent and Michael Jackson. We have a 3D Elmo cake, anything really. I’ve even done cakes for movies. I made about fifty wedding cakes for Mrs. Doubtfire. But the best part about our shop is that we offer free delivery. So you can have a cake in an hour if you make it simple.

SFBG: Your website says that you can make anything anyone’s demented mind can think up. What if I wanted a six foot-tall cock-cake for my friend’s Queen-Cinera? Could you make one of those?
Carson: Absolutely.

SFBG: How about a holiday-themed cake that looks like a turkey with a human ass?
Carson: Sure, why not?

SFBG: Could we have a grizzly-looking Santa Claus crawling out of the ass? You know, like those skateboard ads from the ‘80s, only with Santa Claus instead of a skull?
Carson: Well, you’d have to show me a picture, but it sounds doable.

SFBG: Has anyone ever gotten angry about your cakes?
Carson: Well, this is San Francisco, so people are pretty tolerant, but I did have a woman accuse me of promoting cannibalism once. She was this real nice Christian lady. She kept sending me letters, telling me that God would probably forgive me, but that I needed to stop soon because, you know, there are just too many cannibals out there and we don’t need to be recruiting more.

SFBG: That’s fucking crazy! Well, I guess that’s about it. I did want to ask you about your food for the homeless deal, though. What’s up with that?
Carson: We give away cake scraps to the homeless everyday at 3:00pm. No big deal.

SFBG: That’s really cool that you do that. I think all restaurants should be required to give away their extras. Like, they should have to set up little free-food stands or something. In your case, though, I’m just wondering, do you ever give away fully decorated porno cakes, like when you make a mistake or when someone fails to pay?
Carson: Yes we do.

The Cake Gallery
290 9th Street, SF
(415) 861-2253
www.thecakegallerysf.com