By Justin Juul
Vaginas are wonderful and fascinating things, but their exotic complexity can totally mystify your average horny male, the vagina’s biggest fan. You know, you can’t just whale away on one and expect to be thanked afterward. You can’t just poke and prod and pull like you can with a dick. It seems like dudes would realize these simple rules and slow their shit down a little, but by the time a vagina enters the average man’s life he’s been hammering away at himself for over a decade and the transition can be confusing and a little scary.
It’s like switching from a PC to a MAC. You’re happy as hell when you finally buy a new laptop, but you’re scared to actually use it once you get it alone in your room.
It’s so sleek and nice and foreign looking that it seems like it might break if you treated it like a regular PC, just hacking away at the keys without a care in the world. As time passes you get a little more comfortable and less intimidated by your new computer and you eventually become at least semi-proficient. Always though, in the back of every MAC convert’s mind there is the disconcerting knowledge that if he wants to reap all the benefits his new machine has to offer, he’s gonna have to talk to a MAC genius.
It’s the same thing with vaginas. You can learn a lot through trial-and-error, but if you ever want to see a vagina squirt, swallow an entire fist, or play a DVD in full-screen mode, you’re going to have to take some classes. And with a New Year approaching, there’s no better time to start. Give Her a Hand, a class about female hand-jobs, is a good intro to the strange and wonderful world of female genitalia, but don’t stop there. Good Vibrations is offering a number of courses this Christmas season. Get with the program.
Give Her a Hand @ The Good Vibrations Store on Polk St.
Pre-registration - $25 / Drop In - $30
Tuesday, December 11, 8-10 pm
1620 Polk Street
(415) 345-0400
www.goodvibes.com
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