By Justin Juul
You never know what kind of crazy shit your brain’s going to tell you to do when Saturn comes back into the picture and starts demanding attention. Some of us start thinking about babies and tract homes while others spin off in the opposite direction and become workaholics or barflys.
My friend, Jason Lewis of Lollyphile, did something even stranger. On the dawn of his 29th year, he suddenly decided to become a confectioner. He spent hours and days mixing flavors in his basement and self-promoting on the Internet until finally, success! His first run of Absinthe flavored lollipops was met with critical acclaim, eventually reaching full-blown awesomeness when the people over at Penthouse Magazine decided to run a review. A less ambitious man may have stopped there, but my friend is “very special” so he immediately started planning a slow takeover of the gourmet candy industry. He’s gonna be the next Willy Wonka. I can feel it.
I tried to get Lewis on the phone to discuss his outlook on candy, life, and world affairs, but he was too busy boiling lard or something. I did manage to squeeze this little e-interview out of him though. Enjoy.
SFBG: What’s your stance on candy from Japan? How can you ever hope to compete with brands like Pocky, Black Black, and Cubyrop?
So, while Japan's candies have awesome names, brand recognition, and the loyalty of several billion people, I've got deity cred.
SFBG: What do you do when you’re not turning meat and controlled substances into candy?
Lewis: I reverse the process. Candy into meat and liquor. I transubstantiate stuff all the time.
"Bacon lollipops? Why not!"
SFBG: If you had to pick a theme song for your candy business, what would it be?
Lewis: We've had "This Love" by Pantera on almost constant rotation in the kitchen. However, I'd like to think that I always have the entirety of Andrew WK's “I Get Wet” playing in my head. Which isn't as fun as it sounds.
SFBG: What do you do with your candy scraps?
Lewis: I donate them to The Cutest Foundation, an SF nonprofit that feeds dreams, hopes, and candy to orphan kittens with learning disabilities.
SFBG: Who would kick whose ass in a street fight, Gene Wilder or Johnny Dep?
Lewis: I prefer the Gene Wilder Wonka for various personal reasons that I'm not comfortable having on record.
SFBG: Finish this sentence: The world tastes good because…
Lewis: ...of direct chemoreception.
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Comments (1)
Who is this guy? He must be made of the same magic as Jesus. Give him a cable channel already.
Posted by Anonymous | March 21, 2008 07:06 PM