"It's okay that I'm alone."
"But maybe there's something wrong with me?"
"Maybe I'm just too picky."
"I'm young, I should be having sex."
"But I hate having sex with people I'm not really attracted to."
"Except when I'm traveling."
Thus were the questions plaguing San Franciscan Sasha Cagen that lead her to coin the term "quirkyalone." It started as a concept, then became an essay, an online community, and later a book, Quirkyalone: a manifesto for uncompromising romantics (HarperCollins 2004). Above all, quirkyalone is a movement.
Quirkyalone, Cagen defines, is "a person who enjoys being single (but is not opposed to being in a relationship) and generally prefers to be alone rather than dating for the sake of being in a couple."
To some, the term "quirkyalone" may conjure the image of an eccentric weirdo who embraces lifelong singledom for lack of dating opportunities. Quite the contrary, Cagen emphasizes: quirkyalones are not loner Jane Eyre-types, she says; they are often active, attractive, extroverts who are simply anti-dull relationships and anti-settling.
According to the quirkyalone website:
"Quirkyalone is not anti-love. It is pro-love. It is not anti-dating. It is anti-compulsory dating. We tend to be romantics. We prefer to be single rather than settle. In fact, the core of quirkyalone is the inability to settle. We spend a significant chunk of our lives single because we hold relationships to a high standard."
Sasha Cagen interviewed by CNN's Anderson Cooper
If there is quirkyalone, is there also quirkytogether? Soon, there will be.
Cagen announced today on her quirkyalone site that a new site – quirkytogether.com – will soon be launched.
Because the quirkyalone ethos is avowedly against the corporatized dating industry, it is interesting that Cagen is creating something that resembles a dating site. But unlike conventional dating sites, she says, quirkytogether will be more oriented towards friendship and group activities than towards high pressure – and to some, highly inefficient – one-one-one dating scenarios.
"There will be a way to easily suggest events, like doing karaoke or going to reading," says Cagen.
Another thing that will set quirkytogether apart from other dating sites is its psychographic.
"You'll get your quirkyalone pool of people," she adds.
Sasha Cagen ... by herself
The site is currently accepting email addresses for those who are interested in participating in an invite-only beta version. They also invite potential collaborators to email them at info AT quirkyalone.net.
Cagen has a number of other interesting projects, including her To-Do List blog and book and Style Mob.
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