The Guardian's San Francisco Blog - Hair gel and haymakers: Michael the Boxer kicks ass, buzzes heads

By Philip Eil

If you think You Don’t Mess With the Zohan is just another escapist summer fantasy, think again. Ass-kicking hairstylists, unlike talking panda bears and aging, yet acrobatic archaeologists, really do exist. Just ask Michael Onello, the owner of Michael the Boxer, the only boxing gym/barbershop in the Bay Area. Michael is a boxing trainer/barber who offers both services – boxing and barbering -- at his SOMA shop. I headed over there last Friday, looking for a buzz cut and advice on my right hook.

Michael, with the uppercut

I’ll admit, I had no idea what to expect from a haircut/boxing joint. The Rocky IV and Shampoo montages playing in my head seemed highly incompatible. But when I hopped in the barber’s chair and started talking with Michael, the place started to make sense. “My grandfather was a barber, my father was a barber,” he told me as he was trimming my sideburns. During the haircut, I flipped through a copy of his book, Boxing: The American Martial Art, A 12-week Course. “How’s that look?” he asked, holding a mirror up to the back of my neck. “Excellent,” I said. “When can I throw some punches?”

After I got cleaned up, we headed into the next room, where techno music was playing and a guy with no shirt was viciously attacking a punching dummy. Michael and I ducked under the ropes and into the ring, where he walked me through the basics of boxing: stance, movement, defense, and, finally, punches. During the hour we spent in the ring, he told me about the health benefits of boxing (“You don’t really see fat boxers.”), his approach to barbering (“I’m old school, man. We’re talking straight shave with a blade.”), and why he loves his boxing/barbering lifestyle (“It’s cool because it’s people, man. This could be Alaska and I’d still do the same thing.”)

By the time I left Michael the Boxer, any comparisons between Michael and Zohan, the ass-kicking hairstylist of big-screen comedy, seemed silly. Michael, the ass-kicking hairstylist of San Francisco, is no comedian. He’s just a guy who knows what he likes – boxing and barbering – and made them work under one roof. As I walked out, I spotted a quote on the wall: “I am one of the lucky ones. Living is my art, so my art lives through me.” Hey, as Muhammad Ali said, “It’s not bragging if you can back it up.”

Michael the Boxer Gym & Barbershop
96 Lafayette, SF.
(415) 425-3814
www.michaeltheboxer.com