Ah, my anarchic, incorrect geighs -- I haven't checked in with them in a while, and I'm sure they've been up to alot! Besides Q-Tipping playa dust out of their cracks. So here's a fun threesome of upcoming things from the homo-club-intelligentsia to enjoy. And by "enjoy" I mean "masturbate." And by "masturbate" I mean "enjoy." It's an antimetabole!
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Bitch
"Bitch" has become such a fraught word in this election. So let's add flaming to the fire and go to a club called Bitch on 9/11! Right on. (Hey we've already had 9/11 in July...) Mistress Monistat is throwing another of her fabulous straight-bar takeover shindigs at Vertigo this Thursday to wipe away your Al-Quesadilla Al-Qaeda blues. Mona's been a little stingy on the DJ info, just like she is with the baggie, but I do know that the inimitable Anna Conda of Charlie Horse (pictured on the flyer below) will be there, doing something, with something. But cocktails! Disaster!
Bitch
Thu/11, 9pm-2am, free
Vertigo
1160 Polk (at Sutter), SF.
(415) 674-1278
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Chicken
Cluck, cluck, goosed -- The ever-gooful Miss Juanita More is hosting another of her infamous Funky Chicken Brunches on Sun/14 afternoon at Mars Bar -- and all the cool kids will have their napkins out for her delicious fried chicken and heavenly home-baked (just like her!) carrot cake. The chicken's good -- and so's the chicken!
Plus: fab disco groover DJ James Glass supplies the goo-tunes. Make your reservations -- because you have none -- now. Lingus-fickin' good.
Funky Chicken Brunch
Sun/14, 12:20-3:30pm
Mars Bar
798 Brannan (at 7th), SF.
Reservations: (415) 621-6277
www.marsbarsf.com
www.juanitamore.com
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Runway
Forget Project Runway -- "You're over and out" or whatever that Klum lady says! (I can't afford cable). Amazing smart-gay weekly mess -- and craft fair! -- Tiara Sensation, Mondays at he Stud, is going all out with something they're calling "Project Runt Over" on Mon/15. An actual outfit-fashioning competition overseen by the Bay's best kept couture secret, Mr. David (pictured twice on the flyer below) this thingie will feature teams mostly comprised of coked-up drag queens frantically competing to squeeze some semblance of creativity out of their shrivelled souls. I'm kidding! They have no souls. What have you done to its eyes?
The fruits of their labors -- I'm predicting a lot of papercuts from old National Geographics -- will be paraded down the runway at midnight! This is, actually, a don't miss/can't miss: these bitches ain't chicken, they're pretty damn genius with the scissors. DJ Downy provides hyperactive pre-disco rarities and odd looks.
Tiara Sensation: Project Runtover
9/15, 10pm-2am, real cheap
The Stud
399 9th St., SF
(415) 863-6623
www.myspace.com/tiarasensation
www.studsf.com
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Bonus!
This picture of Ambrosia Salad, who will be one of the Project Runt Over contestants, amuses me. This is exactly what's wrong with the liberal fucking coastal media elites! OBAMA + BIDEN = OSAMA BIN LADEN!!!!
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