St. Patrick’s Day:

Normally if someone were to wake up at 7:00 in the morning, take the day off work, and get drunk at a bar before 10:00 a.m., they would be called an alcoholic, and not in the artistic, edgy way that white people are so fond of.

Were you out on St. Paddy's in the city? On my first sober St. Patty’s I realized just what a boozy town San Francisco is—can’t wait for Bay to Breakers. An aunt of a friend leaves town on St. Patty’s just because it gets so crazy near her house. A friend went to the St. Patrick’s Alice morning show at the Irish Bank…and began drinking at 6:15 a.m. Beat that, New York City.

Speaking of New York….here's the San Francisco Entry:

However, it is important to be aware of the fact that regions outside of San Francisco feature many people who are not white, gay or Asian. They are greatly appreciated during the census, but white people are generally very happy that they stay in places like Oakland and Richmond. This enables white people to feel good about living near people of diverse backgrounds without having to directly deal with troublesome issues like income gaps or schooling.

Though it is exceptionally easy to put someone from San Francisco in a good mood, there are some caveats. When talking to a white person who lives in San Francisco, it is best not to bring up New York City. Though they live in a world class city, San Franciscans have a crippling inferiority complex about New York and even hinting at that will make them very sad or very defensive.

From years of living in Oakland, I am constantly surprised at how white San Francisco is. This entry reminded me of that Dave Chappelle skit where he talks about just that dichotomy. He gets on the BART with a presumably gay man saying, “Bye now, come back to San Francisco,” and gets off at Oakland, where a thuggish voice says, Welcome to Oakland, Bitch…”

Also, San Francisco does have a little bit of an inferiority complex to New York. We do everything they do in a mini scale: fashion week, the publishing and magazine industry ... even our city layout a mini copy of New York (of course, Oakland’s downtown was made in San Francisco’s image and now provides an image of what San Francisco would be like if it was ramshackle and rundown, but with great weather.)

Graduate School:

In coffee shops, bars, and classes white people will engage in conversations about authors and theorists that go nowhere as both parties start rattling off progressively more obscure people until eventually one side recognizes one and claims a victory. By the time they graduate (or a year or two afterwards), white people realize that they will need an edge to succeed in the cut-throat world of modern white society.
That edge is graduate school.

Though professional graduate schools like law and medicine are desirable, the true ivory tower of academia is most coveted as it imparts true, useless knowledge. The best subjects are English, History, Art History, Film, Gender Studies, Studies, Classics, Philosophy, Political Science, Literature, and the ultimate: Comp Lit. MFA’s are also acceptable.
They can also impress their friends at parties by referencing Jacques Lacan or Slavoj Žižek in a conversation about American Idol.

The best thing you can do is to act impressed when a white person talks about critical theorists. This helps them reaffirm that what they learned in graduate school was important and that they are smarter than you. This makes white people easier to deal with when you get promoted ahead of them.

When I had to work in an office the year after graduation I absolutely hated it. I spent all day online trying to find a way out. Then, I decided graduate school sounded fabulous. So I decided on the most useless degree of all: an M.F.A. degree. True story.

Difficult Break-Ups:

The majority of white person art is created after a difficult breakup; films, indie music, and poetry are all kicked into high production during the end of a relationship. This helps train white people to prepare for the pain that is coming.

Once breakup proceedings have been initiated, a white person is immediately thrust into the center of attention in their circle of friends. During this time, they are permitted to talk at great lengths about themselves, listen to The Smiths, and get free dinners from friends who think “they shouldn’t be alone right now.”

OK, I’ve been in the process of breaking up with someone since Thanksgiving…2006. That’s right. We haven’t been able to separate for a year and a half which is a little over half the length of our actual relationship.

Stuff White People Like has spawned a bunch of other websites: Stuff Educated Latinos Like , Stuff Asian People Like (www.stuffasianpeoplelike.wordpress.com), etc. But none are that funny. Perhaps it’s because I’m white and I don’t get it.

Or perhaps it’s because I consider myself white, and #50 on the list of things I like is, of course, Irony.

As promised, here's the recipe mentioned above, based on Alice Water's version from The Art of Simple Food:

Additions a la my friend:
Mince two large cloves of garlic and add it to the cauliflower about 2 min before everything is finished.
During the last 30 seconds of cooking, add about 3/4 a cup of bread crumbs.