Chain, chain, chain…According to intern Ailene Sankur, sometimes a girl just needs a subpar, average meal at a crappy chain restaurant.
I have a confession to make: sometimes, I need to go to a chain restaurant. I know, I know, I live in a gourmand’s paradise. And yes, I love to support family-owned small Indian, Turkish, and Mexican joints. I hate corporations, hate cheesiness, hate tchotchkes and flair. But sometimes, I just need to go into my happy suburban place. The place that takes me back to the Target, Ross, and TJ Maxx stores of my youth, with their big, wide, unmonitored parking lots where I could probably leave my car for weeks unnoticed.
Yes, the food is subpar, but it’s consistent in its average-ness. And sometimes, you want to step away from all the culinary razzle-dazzle and just eat something blah in a place where the “kooky, original” décor is the same as it is in your fave chain back home for a Twilight-zone eerie, but strangely soothing effect. Talk about Walter Benjamin’s theories of “art in the age of mechanical production” in a ginormous booth—another wonderful thing about chains…no more tiny wood tables crammed next to a loud kitchen—decorated in southwestern tiles and a big sign that says “Chili cook-off.”
So, if you’re like me and sometimes you just want to eat an homage to your Stepford childhood, here’s a list of chain restaurants close to the city:
CHILI'S
Chili’s is my personal fave. Get the boneless buffalo chicken wings, the skillet queso, or the Triple Play Appetizer. So good! (Kind of.)
899 El Camino Real, San Bruno. (650) 952-2692
15555 E. 14th St., San Leandro. (510) 317-0323
490 Las Gallinas, San Rafael. (415) 491-4955
OLIVE GARDEN
Olive Garden: If you say you don’t love the breadsticks and salad, you are a big, fat liar.
Stonestown Mall, 3251 20th Ave, SF. (415) 661-6770 (415) 661-5434
CHEVYS
With so many autentico taquerias in the city, you might feel guilty about going to Chevy's…Don’t! They’ve got margaritas the size of your head, platters the size of your torso, and surprisingly good chips. And four locations in the city! But I would recommend the Emeryville locay. It’s right off the bridge, right on the bay, and has a gorgeous view from it’s floor-to-ceiling windows.
590 Van Ness, SF.
201 3rd St., SF.
2 Embarcadero, SF.
1890 Powell, Emeryville.
ELEPHANT BAR
Elephant Bar—Good cocktails, eh appetizers.
1600 Old Bayshore Highway, Burlingame
Bay Street Shopping Center, 5601 Bay, Emeryville
APPLEBEE'S
I draw the line at Applebee’s. As Dave Chappelle would say, “That shit is gross!” But just in case your chain restaurant tastes run differently than mine...
2263 South Shore, Alameda. (510) 522-7071
1135 Veterans, Redwood City. (650) 364-6849
RED ROBIN
Curious how I feel about Red Robin? See my description of Applebee's above.
1274 El Camino Real, San Bruno. (650) 588-4600
2204 Bridgepointe, San Mateo. (650) 571-5500
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Comments (3)
Hahaha. Linked here from SFist thinking "who could possibly share Jen & my's secret love for chain restaurants"... then I saw the byline.
Posted by Dan Ancona | April 15, 2008 06:20 PM
I've never been to a Chili's but I've always secretly wanted to go.
Now I will.
Posted by IC Balaam | April 16, 2008 09:04 AM
My first restaurant job was as a hostess at Chili's. (This was back in Texas before they were a big chain.) I still get cravings for the skillet queso.
Posted by melissa | April 16, 2008 11:22 AM