After finding out what paper I was reporting for, Michael, the other winner, wearing his birthday suit plus a scorpion medallion informed me that he was thrilled by the entire event and said he had a great time. He also went on to add that: “The Bay Guardian’s politics are a little too liberal for me. I’m a little more middle-of-the-road – at least for San Francisco.” Well, we didn’t get into the specific political-stances of the SFBG that bother him, but to say the least I was pretty proud to be speaking to an unclothed man who considered himself too middle- of-the-road for the SFBG.

George explained that his motivation for organizing the event was rooted in his deep commitment to the naturist movement: “I’m trying to bring to America a free-body-culture movement, like there is in Europe, which has a 102-year-old movement to promote nudism in sports, recreation, nature and homelife.”

Participants came from all walks of life, with motivations ranging from an admitted wish to see naked females, to a desire to become comfortable with their own bodies, to a strong belief in nudity as natural instinct driven out of children by societal oppression.

George explained: “It’s more comfortable, natural and free. For a lot of people there is a nudity taboo, a form of social repression. It’s about people being more comfortable with themselves, and freer.” Overall, the main goal of the event was just to have fun, which all seemed to be having.

“You begin to forget you’re naked; there is no difference between when I wear a tux and being nude,” said George.

There was one couple in attendance that participated in the games together. As they lovingly held hands, Rich explained to me that him and his wife-to-be had met at a nudist retreat, but that she had come with another man, whom she has since divorced. Her late-husband had the retrospectively foolish desire to see his wife make love to another man; as Rich put it, “little did he know she’d fall in love with that man.” Rich, the lucky one chosen for the experiment, is now happily participating in the Nude Olympics alongside his special lady.

Lloyd, one of the participants who seemed more athletically inclined, which is my own euphemism for fit, was wearing a purple cock ring. Lloyd explained it was to give him “the circumcised look.” He went on to elaborate that it made his penis look bigger.

The final game was beach volleyball, and, as a spectator, it seemed to me that, alas, these games are more difficult in the nude than in spandex and sports bras. Tits flopped about, occasionally getting in the way of another player trying to bump the ball, but the plethora of dicks became less distracting as I stopped noticing that everyone but me was nude and paid close attention to the game, waiting for the next rally. The participants were, to say the least, not all-star athletes, but they did seem to be fulfilling their main goal, to be having fun, as they chanted, “You can’t just spectate, you have to participate,” and then ate grapes and drank champagne.