Take Lorelei Lee for example. Here’s a girl who gets slapped in the face with dicks for fun. She gets electrocuted in the asshole, prodded with giant dildos, and verbally abused almost every day of the week. And she does it all on camera, for money. “What the hell is wrong with her?” you ask. “What’s her life going to look like in ten years?” Well, first, there’s absolutely nothing wrong her. She’s smart, creative, and much more financially stable than most people I know (ahem). As far as her future goes, well, read on.

SFBG: So, pornography. How did you get into it?
Lorelei Lee: Well, I did my first shoot when I was 19 and living in southern California. I was in bed with my boyfriend one day and he looked up at me and said, “You’re so beautiful, people would pay to see you naked.” I thought about it for a while and then I just decided to go for it. A friend of ours worked for a young girl’s Website so it was pretty easy to get started. The funny thing is, it didn’t even seem like that big of a deal. I mean, I didn’t grow up with computers so I didn’t really understand the reach of the Internet. I was like, oh, it’s just the Internet, nobody’s ever gonna see it?” And now here I am, eight years later. Anyone can see me naked now, whenever they want.

SFBG: Was the stuff you did at first as crazy as the stuff you do now? I mean, did it escalate or did you go straight into hardcore stuff?
Lee: It definitely escalated. The first shoot I did was a solo shoot. I was just jerking off in these cheesecake stills. Then I did a little video where I described giving a blow job. And then I didn’t do anything for a year or so until I moved up here. I was working full time and trying to go to school and I just got exhausted. So I started to think about porn again.

SFBG: You wanted a way out of the work-your-ass-off-through-school trap where you have to wait tables when you should be relaxing?
Lee: Yeah, basically. I just wanted to spend less time working so I could focus on school. So I started doing amateur stuff and eventually went to work for Kink.com.

SFBG: What’s it like working for them? It seems strange to me because all you hear about is how wonderful the company is, how they treat their employees well, and pay really good. But then you look at the website and its like people getting tortured and shit. I guess maybe it sounds naïve, but Kink.com seems evil somehow. I have a hard time believing that the people in those videos feel good about themselves. Do you ever feel victimized?
Lee: No, they’re really great to work for actually. And I never feel like a victim. I never have to do anything I don’t want to do. The thing about BDSM imagery, and other more extreme imagery, is that there’s this whole protocol around it. There’s this whole negotiation that happens before you actually go in for the shoot. So, before we make any of that stuff, we discuss exactly what our limits are. We have this whole conversation beforehand that almost never happens in real-life sex. So, it’s kind of like the most consensual sex experience you can have.

SFBG: Does that make it boring?
Lee: No, not at all. Because once you establish your boundaries, you’re free to go as far as you want. You don’t get the same fear you can get in real-life experimental situations because you know that the person you’re with knows exactly when to stop. It’s like watching a scary movie, but knowing that you’ll only get as scared as you want. We have these safe words we use if things start to get uncomfortable.

SFBG: Yeah, I’ve heard about that. How do say those words when you’re all bound and gagged and flipped over and stuff?
Lee: If you have a gag in your mouth you just sort of grunt “uh-uh.” That’s pretty clear and it’s easy to do. The underwater stuff is trickier, though. We have to blow bubbles.

SFBG: Ha! I never thought of that. Speaking of safe words and consent and all that, another thing I’ve always wondered has to do with the guys in porn. I guess I’ll just come out and say it. When I see pornography, I always get this sense that the girl is doing it because she needs money and that the guy is doing it because he’s a total fucking dick. Is that true at all?

Lee: Ha ha! Um, I think that’s a common misconception. You know, in every industry there are some assholes and then there are some amazing people. I’m not gonna say I love everyone I work with, but there are just as many cool people as there are assholes. It’s the same as when you have to deal with the stereotypical over-ambitious manager at the coffee shop. They get a little bit of power and they can’t help wielding it a little. But even the assholes, I wouldn’t call them horrible people. They’re tolerable. You have to understand that these are my coworkers. Maybe I wouldn’t choose to have sex with all of them in my real life, but I’ve never had a scarring experience.

SFBG: Really?
Lee: Yes, really. In fact most of the experiences have been pretty positive. I mean, I really love some of the people I work with and I feel proud of the imagery we’re making. So, yes, I do have bad days at work. And there is the occasional misogynistic director, but all in all it feels fine. The SF porn industry is pretty unique in that way. I mean, I probably couldn’t say the same thing if I was in Los Angeles. There’s just so much porn being shot down there that it can seem like an assembly line. Which can be okay if you just want to make some money and get out, but it’s better to be involved in the process.

SFBG: So you feel that the SF scene allows you to feel like a part of the machine as opposed to a cog?
Lee: Definitely. I’ve done performances where I’m just so happy that I got to do my part to put that imagery out into the world.

SFBG: And what is it about this imagery that appeals to you?
Lee: Pornography is one of the few platforms where you can see the full spectrum of female sexuality. In the mainstream media all the sexy girls are these really skinny teenagers. They’re these young, sort of passive women. And in mainstream sex scenes you always get this soft-focus situation where the man is, like, doing it to her. But in porn it’s different. I know that people think pornography is like that too, but there’s a lot of raw aggressive female sexuality in porn, especially in the more hardcore movies. We’re not all fake and perfect, you know? We’re getting dirty. And it’s great when I’m the middle of a scene and everyone’s sweaty and my eyelashes are coming off. It’s fucking beautiful, I think. That’s why I love my job.

SFBG: OK, so it sounds like you have a great attitude in regards to your job, but what about your personal life? Do you have a boyfriend or a girlfriend?
Lee: I do. I have a boyfriend.

SFBG: And is he in porn too?
Lee: No, has a very straight-laced job. He’s actually a lawyer.

SFBG: No shit!? I guess I always assumed that porn stars pretty much only dated other porn people. How does he feel about your job? Was it ever an issue?
Lee: Of course it’s been an issue. We’ve had a lot of discussions.

SFBG: So, I guess he’s ok with it now. Did you hide it from him in the beginning?
Lee: No, I would never do that. There would be no point really. I mean, it’s such a part of my life. And it’s public. Everyone finds out.

SFBG: What about your family?
Lee: Well, that’s another story. And that’s how I know that you can’t hide something like this. I tried to hide my career choice from everyone except my mom. That worked for a while, but then I went to the AVN awards and did a random interview on the red carpet that wound up on the Sunday morning national news. Now my whole family knows. My mother got a lot of calls from my uncles and aunts when the piece aired. They wanted to know if I was addicted to drugs. One of my uncles actually asked my mom if I liked myself.

SFBG: Wow. Ouch.
Lee: Yeah, it makes me sad. I would really like to sit down with each of my family members individually and tell them that I’m choosing to do this and that they shouldn’t worry about me. People think you’re lying if you say you actually like being in the industry.

SFBG: Is there any truth to that though? I mean, before you got into porn would you have believed a porn star if she told you that everything was just fine and that she actually liked her job?

Lee: Well, hmm. Before I got into porn, I don’t think I’d ever thought about it much. I don’t remember even seeing any porn until I started doing it. I think I’d seen a Playboy at some point, but that doesn’t count. So I guess maybe I never had these preconceptions that older people, in particular, seem to have. As far as whether there’s any validity to their concern for me, I would say it comes from a good place.

SFBG: How about the money, then. Is it worth it?
Lee: Well, yeah. For me it’s worth it. I guess maybe it wouldn’t be to someone who’d have to compromise his or her values to do porn. But for me that’s not a problem. There are definitely people who make a personal sacrifice just for the money. For them pornography is bad because they think its wrong to be paid for sexual acts or nudity. I’m lucky that I don’t have those hang-ups.

SFBG: So, what do you do when you’re not doing porn?
Lee: I’m a writer. So I do readings and things like that. I just started getting published recently, and it feels really good. I’m also applying to grad programs for creative writing at Cornell, Iowa, NYU, and a few others.

SFBG: So do you mostly write about porn then?

Lee: I write about it quite a bit, yeah. I’ve always written about sex, mostly about the awkward aspects surrounding it. I’m fascinated by sex because it seems like the one arena where people really let their guard down. I mean, they’re naked so there’s nothing to hide behind. Being in porn has made it so that I’m never embarrassed about sex.

SFBG: Well, damn. You really have your shit together. I’m never going to worry about porn stars again!