Dive In: Phone Booth's a missed callBar reviewer Kristen Haney seeks to separate hipster wannabes from real-life dives in this weekly column. Check out her last installment here.
Before you all start squawking at me about how Phone Booth isn’t a dive – I know. But after reading reviews of the place that kept throwing around the term “dive” like confetti on New Year’s Eve, I figured it was my duty to check it out. (Tough life, I know.) So I threw myself on a bus and traveled over to the area in the city best known for having dives that are anything but dive-y – the Mission.
At first glance, Phone Booth looks promising. The place is tiny, cramped, and dark. Cigarette smoke floats through the air, further obscuring vision, and a chandelier comprised of naked Barbies looks like a dead baby joke waiting to happen. Furry fake spiders crawl over another light fixture, and a lone pool table hunkers in the corner, with barely enough space around it for a proper shot. The mixed drinks are poured with a heavy hand by a no-nonsense bartender who looks like she could just as easily shoot the shit with you as she could tear you a new one.
Unfortunately, while the atmosphere feels right, the touches that make Phone Booth unique are also ultimately the cause of its fall from grace (or is it an upward crawl?) away from classification as a dive bar. Kitschy décor, seasoned bartenders, and cheap drinks do not a dive bar make. However, they do attract a certain kind of crowd, especially in that area.
Everyone was young, and I mean everyone aside from the bartender. Maybe I should just give up, accept the fact that I’m young and love my men in skinny jeans, and whole-heartedly embrace the hipster bar scene. But my heart isn’t in it, and that would defeat the purpose of this blog. I’m going to have to demerit Phone Booth for being solely inhabited by people making ironic fashion and facial hair statements. While average age doesn’t disqualify a bar from being a dive, the average attitude does. The people clustered at tables kept eyeing the toe peeking out of the hole in my left shoe with such disdain that, had it been cognizant, that big toe would have surely sought cover from the reproachful looks. Pretentiousness has no place in a dive bar, but it seemed to take up plenty of stools at Phone Booth.
If there’s one reason to go to the Phone Booth, it’s not for pointing out the anatomical inconsistencies of the dolls on the aforementioned chandelier, though, or for making new friends. While it’s a distinctly non-dive bar touch, as a huge Jameson and ginger fan, I can’t help but plug their fresh ginger. They brew up a huge batch, which is only available until supplies run out, so check to see if it’s in stock. It’s spicy, fresh and delicious, which makes it a dangerous companion for a good Irish whiskey.
As much as I loved that ginger, I cannot, with good conscience, review Phone Booth as a dive bar. But if you appreciate eclectic interior decorating, boys and girls oozing attitude from behind their bangs and flannel, and most importantly, a good Jameson and ginger, check it out.
Just make sure your shoes are properly patched.
Phone Booth
1398 S. Van Ness, SF
(415) 648-4683
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Comments (4)
good, fair review. just a heads up that the phone booth also offers up weird local oddities. I once got hit on by an 80 year old man who claimed relations to the upper crust society of the East Hamptons, was married and apparently loved to swing with young men.
Posted by johnnyutah | October 14, 2009 07:35 AM
"Pretentiousness has no place in a dive bar, but it seemed to take up plenty of stools at Phone Booth."
hahahaha. well said.
but i do love the place.
Posted by Brock Keeling | October 14, 2009 01:04 PM
My issue with this assessment is the Phone Booth crowd regularly changes depending on the time of day.
Weeknights from around 5-8pm you'll find the regular locals, lots of different ages and stages, a very diverse and eclectic group who seem to get along well while enjoying a drink or four.
Weekday evenings 10pm-closing gets more homogenous ... mostly 20-30 years olds. Could be dubbed hipsters I suppose ... whatever that means.
I think the time to avoid the place is TH, Friday, and Saturday nights. Crowd turns mostly bridge and tunnel, some locals, but far fewer than earlier weeknights.
BTW: what constitutes a "dive" bar? Not that I need tidy categories, but since you made the point the Phone Booth isn't, then give an example of what is?
Posted by myview4u | October 15, 2009 09:56 AM
Does anyone know the bartender's name? I used to go there a long time ago and am wondering if it's one of the oldies.
Posted by curious | October 15, 2009 04:28 PM