Palin's shotgun wedding
Marry my daughter or else!
By Tim Redmond
I feel sorry for the kids.
Sarah Palin's daughter is 17. Her boyfriend is either 17 or 18, depending on which reports you read. The New York Post, bless it, has the scoop on the dad: According to his MySpace page, Levi Johnston
boasts, "I'm a f - - -in' redneck" who likes to snowboard and ride dirt bikes."But I live to play hockey. I like to go camping and hang out with the boys, do some fishing, shoot some s- - - and just f - - -in' chillin' I guess."
He also claims to be "in a relationship," but states, "I don't want kids."
Too late now, Levi. If you weren't screwing the daughter of a woman who wants to be vice president, perhaps there would be other choices. Abortion is legal in Alaska, whatever Gov. Palin thinks, and there are plenty of pregnant 17-year-olds who choose to give babies up for adoption. There might have been a chance for you to go to college, go on with your life.
But not now. These two kids will be forced to get married whether they want to or not, because that's what the Republican Party needs them to do.
You think that happy marriage is going to last? Family fucking values.
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Comments (10)
Wow, and liberals like to say conservatives are judgmental.
The whole "redneck" thing is offputting to me also, but I don't think of them as necessarily beneath me just because I'm a little more cosmopolitan in my upbringing and outlook. They live in Alaska, after all.
Posted by Fritz | September 2, 2008 03:56 PM
I must admit I had my grand conspiracy theories re: a quick marriage(how gauche) or sudden miscarriage (how sad), but all involved are free souls, and the media spotlight and plenty of willing "close friends" will make the situation untenable.
Humun and "like us" -- yes. VP material -- a definite no!
Posted by jim spice | September 2, 2008 06:39 PM
The next time ANYONE dismisses San Francisco as a cultural and political freak show....
-marc
Posted by marc salomon | September 2, 2008 10:22 PM
Yes, "Dick" -- thank God! Signed, Whiny Fag. PS I wish he would come kick my ass! That hockey hair is H.O.T.T.T.!
Posted by Marke B. | September 3, 2008 11:32 AM
U R A typical homo-loving liberal left coast wackjob commie. Thank God the rest of the country still calls the shots. It'll be funny to listen to you fags whine fro another 4 years after McCain wins.
PS - you shouldn't talk too loud - that kid'll come out there any kick your weenie ass.
Posted by Dick | September 3, 2008 12:06 PM
Levi Johnston says he likes to hang out with the boys...his words, not mine. My bet is that the McCain campaign sends studly Levi to "stump" for the campaign in gay meccas like Greenwich Village, The Castro and West Hollywood.
No, I'm sure if Palin is elected vice president, and we should never misunderestimate the ability of the Democrats to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory, we can count on the newlywed couple setting up their trailer on the front lawn of the vice presidential mansion (next to the line of progressively decrepit Chevrolet Vegas that they're parting out to keep the "good one" running), the Naval Observatory as they get down to some serious spawning.
-marc
Posted by marc | September 3, 2008 04:38 PM
Man, this photo just cracks me up!
Posted by Willy | September 4, 2008 06:23 PM
I can imagine it now. In the middle of the night the black car pulls up, the agents grab Levi. Later, in a small dark room six miles underground at the Cheney compound, Dick waterboards Levi till he agrees to marry Bristol. Then out comes the tattoo equipment...
Posted by OX | September 4, 2008 07:04 PM
He could have went to college? This kid knocked up the jackpot and you're feeling sorry for him?
Posted by Ken | September 9, 2008 08:48 AM
He could have went to college? This kid knocked up the jackpot and you're feeling sorry for him?
Posted by Ken | September 9, 2008 08:48 AM