The wonders of the Bible

This morning's Chronicle has an article about religious supporters of Prop. 8, and it included a chart of Bible verses that relate to homosexuality. Matthai Kuruvila, the Chron's religion writer, tried desperately to be "objective" about what both sides say on the issue. She quotes Leviticus 20:13, for example:

"If a man lies with a man as one lies with a woman, both of them have done what is detestable. They must be put to death; their blood will be on their own heads."

According to the religious right, she says, "The injunction against homosexuality is timeless law, though Jesus changed penalties for sin." (And thank God for that -- it seems as if Jesus had some good reasons to oppose the death penalty.) The other side says "Times have changed, and the verses applied to those times only."

Ya know ... I grew up in the Catholic Church, and I realize my school was run by the Carmelites and my parents' friends were Jesuits and it was, after all, the Sixies ... but nobody, not even the priests, took the Bible at its literal word. When I asked one of the nuns during science class how God could have created the world in seven days and she said "don't worry about that, honey, God's time is a little different from our time."

So in that spirit, I thought I would quote a few of my favorite Bible verses that demonstrate how utterly silly it is to believe that this particular collection of writings has any relevance to the discussion of same-sex marriage.

There's loads more at Thebricktestament, one of my favorite Biblical sites.

Deuteronomy, 22:20, 21: If ... evidences of virginity are not found for the young woman, then they shall bring out the young woman to the door of her father's house, and the men of her city shall stone her to death with stones."

Titus, 2:9: "Slaves are to be submissive to their masters in everything, and to be well-pleasing, not talking back."

Leviticus 15:19: "Whenever a woman has her menstrual period, she will remain in a state of menstrual pollution for seven days. Anyone who touches her will be unclean until evening. Anyone who touches anything she sat on must wash cloting and body and will be unclean until evening. "

Deuteronomy 25:2: 'If the guilty party deserves to be beaten, the judge will have him lie down and be beaten in his presence.'

Deuteronomy 13: 6-8: 'If your brother, or your son or daughter, or your beloved wife tries to secretly entice you, telling you to go and worship other gods, gods of people living near you, or far from you, or anywhere on earth, do not listen to him. You must kill them. Show them no pity. And your hand must strike the first blow."

Deuteronomy 25:11: If two men are fighting, and the wife of one man rescues him from his assailant by grabbing his testicles, you must cut off her hand. Show no pity."

You get the point.

Now somebody please stone me for blasphemy.

Oooh, unclean, unclean

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