'Help Is on the Way' Brings Out the Stars (Promosexual)

Looking back on the last several evenings of entertainment I’ve written about, I’ve nodded off during most. As a girl on the go, uptempo seems to work best. For me, relaxing in a warm, dimly-lit space with mood music, no matter how beautifully performed, leads to unexpected cat-naps.

Wouldn’t you know, I fell out at least three times during the star-studded Richmond/Ermet AIDS Foundation Help Is on the Way benefit last night, August 3, at the Palace of Fine Arts. How embarrassing! Thank goodness the darkened theatre allowed me to doze unnoticed.

Don’t blame the talent or the event. Featuring a V.I.P. pre-performance reception, silent auction fundraiser and posh after-show dessert meet-and-greet with most of the celebrities involved, REAF truly presents one of the most elegant nights of entertainment and fundraising in town. Now in its 14th year, this was my third or fourth Help Is on the Way benefit. (I seem to have lost count.)

Drawing the pinnacle of San Francisco society to witness a spectacular line-up of performers, the 2008 edition revisited the popular “Blame It on the Movies” theme from last year. While the performances are generally pretty fabulous, I’ll be honest. “Hob-nobbing” with the upper crust bores me to tears. The part I love best is accosting the stars in the lobby after-the-fact to snap photos!

This year’s show was packed with familiar faces. I met Jai Rodriguez, of the Queer Eye for the Straight Guy "Fab Five," two years ago at Pride and again when he performed at the R.E.A.F. holiday show last December. A few years back, at the GLAAD Media Awards, I nearly killed Oscar-, Tony- and Emmy-winner Rita Moreno. (It’s not my fault she tripped over my fabulous suede handbag!) More recently, I’ve interviewed TV's former Taxi and Evening Shade star Marilu Henner, funnyman Bruce Villanch and his Celebrity Fit Club costar Kimberley Locke.

Moreno’s take on “Everything’s Coming Up Roses,” sang as her character Gugi Gomez from the ‘60s musical The Ritz, was not only hilarious but inspired. Rodriguez, a star in Broadway’s RENT before fixing straight men’s fashion, was incredible in Act II. Film and talk show star Ricki Lake, performing Melissa Etheridge’s “You Sleep While I Drive” with her pre-teen son on guitar, also entertained.

I went absolutely wild when chart-topping ‘70s pop singer Maureen McGovern sang her Oscar-winning debut song. Performed in front of a montage of my all-time favorite disaster film (The Poseidon Adventure), “The Morning After” still totally moves me. Sandra O. Noshi-Di’n’t, my date for the evening, cracked up as I performed my own histrionic-filled lip-synch of the number!

The show presented a collection of American Idol cast members as well. Locke, Frenchie Davis, RJ Helton, Vonzell Solomon and Constantine Maroulis gave fans a sampling of their Idols in Concert show (see my review of it here, running another two weeks at the Hotel Nikko’s Rrazz Room.

An unexpected highlight was Cate Caplin and Gary Franco. The Performing Arts World Championship duo really captivated me with a dance piece set to “Why Don’t You Do Right” from Who Framed Roger Rabbit? Since keeping me awake is a task, doing so with dance alone speaks volumes to their talent!

Afterwards, I was all about the chocolate and the stars. Cursing my decision to carry a tiny handbag (bigger purses = more storage space!), we snapped pics and smoozed. I was particularly intrigued to find Kim Locke in the crowd with another Celebrity Fit Club veteran -- Drill Sgt. Harvey Walden IV [Ret.]. Is he her new “8th World Wonder”!?

When I suggested the Sarge start a reality TV show for fat drag queens, the member of the show’s “panel of experts” for all six seasons goaded me into a push-up contest. Never one to turn down a challenge, we went toe-to-toe. With a goal of 25 of what he called “military-style push-ups," he changed the rules at the last minute. Watch out, Kim, that bastard cheats!

Though my moxie won some new admirers, I was exhausted from the effort. (You try doing 22 “double” push-ups in platform heals, an evening gown and a wig!) Obviously, it was time to go. Those power-naps can only hold a girl over for so long!