By Becca Frank

David Foster Wallace gave the commencement address at my college the year I graduated. Looking back on his words, now three years out, I realize that everyday I am confronted with the moral perspective that he offered to us on that morning. In the wake of his death, I thought I would do my part to honor him by offering it to all of you. His message is yours to interpret.

Transcription of the 2005 Kenyon Commencement Address - May 21, 2005

If anybody feels like perspiring [cough], I'd advise you to go ahead, because I'm sure going to. In fact I'm gonna [mumbles while pulling up his gown and taking out a handkerchief from his pocket]. Greetings and congratulations to Kenyon's graduating class of 2005. There are these two young fish swimming along and they happen to meet an older fish swimming the other way, who nods at them and says "Morning, boys. How's the water?" And the two young fish swim on for a bit, and then eventually one of them looks over at the other and goes "What the hell is water?"

This is a standard requirement of US commencement speeches, the deployment of didactic little parable-ish stories. The story ["thing"] turns out to be one of the better, less bullshitty conventions of the genre, but if you're worried that I plan to present myself here as the wise, older fish explaining what water is to you younger fish, please don't be. I am not the wise old fish. The point of the fish story is merely that the most obvious, important realities are often the ones that are hardest to see and talk about. Stated as an English sentence, of course, this is just a banal platitude, but the fact is that in the day to day trenches of adult existence, banal platitudes can have a life or death importance, or so I wish to suggest to you on this dry and lovely morning.

By Mary Samson

Good Vibrations has been one of my favorite San Francisco establishments since I first walked into their old Valencia store in the early 90s –back when it was called a ‘sexuality boutique’ -and I bought my very first compact Japanese vibrator; feeling very MaryAnnSingleton about the whole thing. GoodVibes is a company I’ve watched grow from a small store front with old wooden planked floors in the mission—where you’d show them the display model and they’d run behind an Oz-like shelf counter to retrieve your special toy—to a San Francisco institution, the Best of the Bay winner forever of best sex education resources, home of activists like Theresa Sparks and Carol Queen, and celebrating 30+ years…

By Pollo Del Mar

Don’t cha wish your girlfriend was hot like Jessica Sutta? The long-time member and sometimes co-lead singer of the Pussycat Dolls is one sultry siren! The former Miami Heat cheerleader-turned-pop star returns on the leaner, meaner all-girl group’s sophomore set Doll Domination Sept. 23.

With MTV Video Music Award-winning lead single “When I Grow Up” having already joined “Buttons,” “Stickwitchu” and, of course, the group’s inescapable first release “Don’t Cha” as a Top 10 single, Nicole Scherzinger, Ashley Roberts, Melody Thornton, Kimberly Wyatt and Sutta (minus Carmit Bachar) are back with a vengeance.

On the cusp of the album’s release, not to mention the Dolls’ Jan. 2009 world tour, Sutta rang me for a chat. Ecstatic about having her first solo single on the album’s “Deluxe” edition, we discuss everything from the group’s avid gay following to the “Pussycat Dolls Present…” reality shows blowing up TV.

By Pollo Del Mar

Several weeks ago, when asked to interview Carol Channing about a then-upcoming series of San Francisco charity performances, I agreed immediately. Who wouldn’t want to meet an entertainment industry legend? After all, how much longer Broadway’s original “Dolly Levi” might perform is anyone’s guess. Oh, who am I kidding? At Carol’s age, performing is the least of her concerns. She could drop dead at any second!

Still, even more exciting than possibly etching my mark in the history books as the last person to ever speak to Miss Hello Dolly! on the record, I wanted to ask Channing about her reported 2006 off-color and potentially inflammatory comments regarding the LGBT community. As an entertainment journalist with significant gay readership in the country’s LGBT mecca, I hoped to provide the mush-mouthed performer an opportunity to refute, explain, clarify or apologize for – whichever is most appropriate – an interview published by Gay People’s Chronicle alleging anti-gay comments by the one-time Oscar nominee.

By Pollo Del Mar

According to Jim Croce, there are a few things in this world you just don’t do. Don’t tug on Superman’s cape. Don’t spit into the wind. Don’t take the mask off the ol’ Lone Ranger. And you definitely do not fuck with a drag queen’s wig. Actually, I added that last one myself, but one pathetic creature almost learned this fact of life the hard way last night at The Crib’s Pussycat Dolls CD release party!

Waiting to make my hostessing debut at the Gus Presents 18-and-over Thursday night club at 715 Harrison at 3rd Street, one minute I was looking gorgeous, dancing and enjoying the company of a couple very sweet lesbians. The next thing I know, I was bald, furious and on the verge of assault-and-battery, honey!

What made that wafer-thin, bleach blond bitch decide to snatch my wig off, I’ll never know, but I damn sure bet he’ll think twice before pulling that shit again! I pounced on that nasty Chris Crocker knock-off faster than you can say “super-tranny-beatdown.”