By Juliette Tang
From
Steamfuck.me
Since 2004, we've had the solar powered vibrator. In 1999, someone took out a patent on a water-powered vibrating device (and, dude-who-holds-that-patent, we're still waiting to see what you've got). There are vibrators activated by cell phones, by iPods, vibrators with rechargeable batteries. There are even, for horny hippies, wind-up vibrators powered by your wrist. It's no surprise, in this age of alternatively-powered vibrators, we're returning once again to the age of steam.
This stainless steel steam-powered vibe was created by Ani Niow, a Bay Area engineering student. Her vibrator is doubtless beautiful, incorporating aspects of vibrators of yore. The first vibrator ever invented was actually steam-powered, and known as the "Manipulator" (that pun has got to be intentional), appeared in 1870 in England. The Manipulator more or less looked like this:
Niow's steampunk vibe is much, much more streamlined and elegant than the closet-sized Manipulator, with a brass adapter for a steam hose and an insertable body. Inside the engine housing is a tiny Tesla turbine powered by compressed air.
The fact that this vibe looks like a medieval torture device surely works in its favor. While not the safest or most environmentally sound vibrator, this vibe has clean-lined aesthetics and the self-explanatory fetish element going for it. Niow's toy has been blowing up the blogosphere these past few weeks, and her idea and execution are so novel that I can see why. There is definitely a market for some at-home machine fucking for the ladies and machine fucking for the dudes.
A word of caution though: a little bit of BDSM is one thing, hot steam to the genitals is another, horrible, terrifying, nightmarish thing altogether. Says Ani at Steamfuck.me, "When I tried to run it off of steam earlier though it got REALLY hot... you have to wear like welding gloves to hold it and even then its almost too hot to handle." Sounds pleasant? I have used steamers before, albeit in ironing clothes rather than genitals, and I know first-hand that a steam burn hurts. While this vibe can work on compressed air rather than steam, it admittedly loses much of its romanticism without steampunk's obvious steam principle. I'm skeptical of the usability of a steam vibrator to begin with, and what good is a vibrator if it doesn't work the way you want it to? And, aren't there easier ways to get off? Ways that don't require a steam hose?
Ms. Niow is currently working on smoothing the kinks out of her steampunk vibe, and we wish her best of luck. But for those who want a bit of Steely Dan in their lives and want to play it safe, there are well-designed and powerful stainless steel vibrators (battery-run) that can satisfy your thirst for metal without burning off your pudenda.
The Le Lynx Deluxe by Elemental Pleasures is a gorgeous steel vibe with 3 speeds and 3 detachable heads. Elemental Pleasures is located in Santa Rosa (local!) and produces a line of lovely, high-end metal toys.
JimmyJane, a toy company based in San Francisco, makes gorgeous Little Chroma precious metal vibrators. The gold's our favorite, but at these prices, we'll settle for the steel.
Another beautiful little guy from JimmyJane. When using a JimmyJane vibe, you really are fucking design, literally.
