By Juliette Tang
Folsom Street Fair: Not sexy enough for ya?
If you thought you heard the last of that stupid Trojan sex survey, then maybe you should stop reading this.
For those lucky enough to remain unexposed to this survey of which I speak, the basic gist is that we in SF aren't boning enough and when we do have sex, well, it sucks and we don't even like it. We ranked dead last out of 10 cities profiled by Trojan in terms of sexual frequency, and second to last (next to Boston) in sexual satisfaction.
Mike Alvear, host of HBO's The Sex Inspectors, is the latest blogger to drudge this tired survey up. In a Huffington Post column today, he writes that he's figured out why San Francisco rated so low, comparable to Atlanta, of all places.
Here in San Francisco, we are less 'sexy' (whatever that means) because, among other things, Atlantans are prettier and in better shape.
"Here, we beat San Francisco into submission. Atlanta is the China of beauty--we're over-populated with good-looking men and women. This is no lie. If you've ever been here you know what I'm talking about. A friend who visited me recently (from San Francisco of all places) said this about Atlantans: "They remind me of a wrench--every time I look at them my nuts tighten up."
He goes on to write:
"I think we can safely say that Atlanta has a higher Sexual Quality of Life than San Francisco because:1. We're prettier.
2. We're friendlier.
3. We're in better shape.
Take that, San Francisco. You may have planted the flag on sexual expression but Atlanta's making it wave."
Regarding the 'prettier' thing, I'm just going to roll my eyes and sigh, like an adult. Regarding the 'friendlier' comment -- whatever, I can buy it. San Franciscans are brusque and busy. We have places to go, people to see, art and culture to... I don't know... smugly bask in. I'm more baffled by the metric (published by Atlanta's friendly neighborhood McDonald's locations???) Alvear used in determining that Atlantans are in better shape than we in San Francisco.
And my question isn't pejorative. Really, someone tell me. Because I want to know.
Comments (3)
On a recent trip the beautiful black men--and women for that matter--stood out. What a bunch of hotties. One observation I might add is that people in the south are generally more comfortable with their bodies than us on the west coast. They are less inclined to buy into the diet trends and the thin look Hollywood imposes on the public. People who are comfortable in their own skin should be expected to have better sex, right?
Posted by elfgirl | July 18, 2009 11:10 AM
I think San Franciscans are in better shape. For sure. Does SF's queer ilk pump out their muscles to vomit-y degrees of extreme bulbousness? No, not really. We are a bit wispier. But are we in better shape / healthier? Yes.
Posted by Brock Keeling | July 20, 2009 12:35 PM
Atlanta is great! especially for the gays!!!!
btw, the next comment is gay
Posted by jessica | August 9, 2009 05:53 PM