Hightlight photos by Jack Lukic. Text and video by Juliette Tang
Cow Palace from Juliette Z Tang on Vimeo.
MySpace celebrity turned reality television sub-lebrity Tila Tequila was apparently at the Perry Mann's Exotic Erotic Ball and Expo this past Saturday, though by the time I arrived, she was no where to be found. Likewise, Coolio was there was well, but in the hour window into which I glimpsed (00:00h to 01:00h) I saw not one spindly braid (though it is comforting that in certain circles, he's still deemed relevant).
Instead, what I encountered inside Cow Palace was a mix between a state fair, a strip club Halloween party, and a WWE match.
This was my first time attending this ball, so I cannot speak for previous years' parties (this is the event's 30th year). But what I saw at Cow Palace this weekend was neither erotic nor exotic, but rather, tawdry and dull. Perhaps if I wasn't a citizen of San Francisco, I might have found the entire production slightly more challenging to the senses, but having seen the things I've seen, the Exotic Erotic Ball was a suburban heterosexual's B-side version of Folsom.
There was a discernible lack of a large gay or bi- presence at the show (discounting the number of women insipidly grabbing at one another for staged photo ops), and a disproportionate number of straight hand-holding couples in matching, un-coolly elaborate Halloween costumes, eating expo food while ogling the various stripper booths. Mentally clothe the entire arena, and what you've got is basically a state fair, with all its booths, multiple stages, and organized attractions (through which you are herded, like cows). Furthermore, there really wasn't anything that sexually progressive or sex positive about the event. This was more like your standard fare, San Jose nightclub in terms of "level of undress", shot through with an extra dose of voyeuristic sleaze. For an event with a $75 basic entry ticket, it should have delivered more.
Check out the video above, which I cobbled together on iMovie, and these photos (below and above) by Jack Lukic, for some of the highlights.
Ew!! Danny Bonaduce!
Who's the bigger dildo, Danny Bonaduce or the giant dildo?
Comments (11)
The contest was LAME. It was absolutely ridiculous that the guy in the INSANE Bumble Bee costume wasn't allowed to enter the contest and that stupid dildo won. Sorry bumble Bee... you got hosed. but you had the best costume!
Posted by BS | October 26, 2009 06:44 PM
What a lousy review and horrible video footage. You call yourself a blogger ? More like a limp dildo. Next time hire a real reporter to review the event for your blog.
Posted by A1 Editor | October 26, 2009 07:07 PM
U didn't even mention SGL who put on an incredible musical performance and who should of just stayed on stage for the remainder of the evening! That and Bumble bee were clearly participants that went all out in the spirit of the event! Thanks to both of you!
Posted by Funkenstein | October 27, 2009 07:25 AM
It should be mentioned that Coolio performed and KILLED IT!
Posted by ko | October 27, 2009 07:48 AM
We have something similar to this in Vegas the fetish and fantasy ball. Although now due to location rules you can't have any sexual references ( dildos, sex toys etc.) on your costume, no pasties and no nudity or sex.
It is a blast though and I always perform
Posted by Kitten | October 27, 2009 11:56 AM
You should do something else other than blog because your story is terrible and way off. If you are going to bash an event at least get your facts straight.
Posted by You are lame | October 27, 2009 08:39 PM
Your story is lame and not even close to what the Ball was like. You have photos of naked people that you don't even have permission from to use. How are we suppose to believe your story.
Posted by You are lame | October 27, 2009 08:44 PM
Juliette,
Wow, what a lame review. Over 9,000 on hand and five stages of entertainment, and you take an elite position that personifies San Francisco snobbish arrogance. You call this reporting? You call that video footage? You call that professional photography?
There was better coverage of the Ball by college newspapers. This is a prime example for what the San Francisco Alt weeklies are known for - the SFWeakly and SF Bored Gaudian - snobbish know-it-all elitism. Which is why nothing that is reported in either can be taken seriously anymore.
You want an honest review, check out Keith Dixon's review at the Examiner: http://bit.ly/4DAkDz
Check out Jon Longhi's review at NBCBayArea.com - http://bit.ly/2jcYVE
Juliette, you are fucking lame.
Posted by Dain | October 27, 2009 11:59 PM
Once again, Juliette dares to write her honest reaction to an event, and once again people slime her with names rather than just disagree and offer their thoughts to the contrary. I guess it's a sign of how robust the Bay's sex life is that folks can get so heated about things, but really -- can't we keep it civil? We're trying to host a dialogue here.
Posted by Marke B. | October 28, 2009 02:37 PM
This is pretty much right on the money. I was one of the performers on the fetish stage and I agree 100 percent. My only beef with this article is that it contains photos of two of my friends, who are both wonderful, kinky, sex positive, intelligent, daring women who don't deserve to illustrate the all too true message of this article. Sadly, if one chooses to perform at EEB, one risks representing EEB. It was fun to be onstage, anyway.
Posted by anonymous | October 30, 2009 11:22 AM
There "wasn't anything that sexually progressive or sex positive about the event"... Were we at the same place?? I was there and your description does not match my experience at all.
Sure, there were some gawkers, but I interacted with a lot of sexy, sex positive people all night long. Yes, there were some lame costumes but there were some truly amazing ones too. Yes some performances were lame, (actually, a number of them were) but some were outlandish and arousing.
And why all the straight bashing?? NEWS FLASH: gay people don't have a corner on the market on kink or sexy. Straight people can be sexually adventurous too.
While we're at it, San Franciscans aren't, on average, any prettier, sexier, smarter, or more sophisticated than their straight suburban counterparts. Stop believing and promoting your own stereotypes.
C'mon Juliette. Read your own piece again and try to figure out how *not* to just see it as another stuck-up, city-centric, elitist, "hipper than thou" rant against something you really didn't let yourself experience or understand... because that's what it seems like to me and to your readers.
Posted by kinkysexysmartandstraight | November 6, 2009 03:19 AM