By Juliette Tang
Our post-Halloween, sugar-induced depression -- that vague feeling of existential disgust brought on by too much candy -- continues to rage on this hungover Monday. It arrives in the evil, saccharine form of Sugar Daddy Ken, the unfortunate new Ken doll via the lapidarists at Mattel.
According to Mattel, Sugar Daddy Ken (né "Sugar's Daddy Ken") is not the daddy of Sugar Chapeaux, the black Barbie, but of Sugar, the small white dog. And as Michelle Chidoni, spokeswoman for Mattel, told ABC most diplomatically, "At the end of the day, this collection is targeted toward adults. While the name of the doll does refer back to the dog, I think people are going to interpret it as they want to interpret it."
The only consolation toward feminism is the obvious fact of SDK's homosexuality. Crisp white pants paired with a bright green statement jacket themselves aren't enough to imply a same-sex preference, but add to the mix a small toy dog named Sugar who cants about on a bright pink leash and you're in the territory of grotesque, Bruno-style sexual stereotyping -- which is par for the course when it comes to ever responsible Mattel.
Sadly, SDK missed his opportunity to be immortalized in SF's Altered Babie Show, though of course there is always next year. If Mattel is unfazed by negative publicity and undeterred by the damage they will cause to fragile young psyches, SDK will be unleashed on stores in April of 2010.
And now, if you're allergic to the gross reinforcement of outworn gender stereotypes, don't read any further.
But those who enjoy fueling their nihilism, as I do, should extend a special thanks to a website called SugarDaddyForMe.com for the following masterwork of PR sent to my editor Marke B., trailing on SDK's green brocade coattails:
To celebrate Barbie’s 50th birthday, Mattel has introduced what’s come to be known as the “Sugar Daddy Ken Doll”. Barbie’s makers are truly on top of pop culture trends, because Sugar Daddys [sic] come in life-sized versions as well. And like the newest Ken Doll, real Sugar Daddies can now be found online.It’s the fastest growing internet dating craze; [sic] Sugar Daddy dating (where gold-diggers of any sex can be matched with big spenders) [sic].
Would you be interested in speaking with the founder of the #1 site for “sugar daddy”* dating – SugarDaddyForMe.com? Members of the site (Sugar Daddies, Cougars, Cubs and Sugar Babies) are also available to give you the true dirt and perks about cyber-gold-digging.
With more than two-million members – and growing – SugarDaddyForMe, with its ultimate search criteria and other tech features like iPhone remote access, is the LARGEST and most popular Sugar Daddy dating site. Members of the site are also available to speak with you and to reveal [sic]:
-Why they chose a Sugar Daddy site for their dating / marriage experience
-Everything – from their first conversation to first date to most lavish gift a Sugar Baby or Cub ever received!
-What the successful gentlemen on the site are looking for and why they say they “don’t have time for second class.”
-Women who know what they are looking for, what they want and are not afraid to talk about it.Would you be interested speaking further? Thanks.
In conclusion, sugar : type 2 diabetes :: sugar daddies : my Schopenhaurian pessimism.
*These quotations are the only sensible grammatical fact on this entire press release.
Comments (3)
unfortunately, no one reads this blog's well packaged garbage, cause this posting is both witty and sad - picking on a PR person. i would imagine juliette's life in pictures would want to make anyone rip their eyeballs out with a rusty spoon, so instead she spends her lonely nights pontificating about nonsense.
and if anyone wants to pontificate nonsense what about the horrific recaptcha spam verification software for this comment box - it doesnt work. thebplot.com
Posted by RV | November 6, 2009 08:28 AM
Well, obviously this PR person sucks. For one, the sugar daddy website you mentioned isn't the Number 1 site for such dating, its actually www.SeekingArrangement.com which was featured on 20/20, Good Morning America, New York Times, just to name a few. And for that matter, Sugar Daddy Ken should have been named Seeking Arrangement Ken! LOL
Posted by Real Sugar Daddy | November 6, 2009 01:48 PM
Now all we need is to make a butch barbie,cource the dog would be named butch.
Posted by tikie | November 7, 2009 05:28 AM