Compiled by Molly Freedenberg

Missing Persons are among the impressive number of bands, live acts, and special appearances at Saturday's Exotic Erotic Ball.

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>> Underwear Party
Every Thursday this month, Powerhouse hosts this panty-themed event, featuring a wet underwear contest, drink specials, and a chance to exchange your old underwear for a free drink.

Thurs/22, 10pm
$5
Powerhouse
1347 Folsom, SF
(415) 52-8689
www.powerhouse-sf.com

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>> Exotic Erotic Expo and Ball
The two-day Expo celebrating flesh, fetish, and fantasy has lots of sexy exhibits, great food, interesting lectures, and previews of Saturday night's Ball, which is part Mardi Gras, part burlesque, and part rock concert. Live acts include Impotent Sea Snakes, Coolio, Missing Persons, Minikiss, Unauthorized Rolling Stones, and many more.

Fri/23-Sat/24
$20-$185
Cow Palace, SF
www.exoticeroticexpo.com

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>> Hubba Hubba Revue: Oktoberfest!
SF's favorite burlesque show brings a bit of Deutschland to DNA with this tassel-twirlin', hip-shakin' Bavarian party. Featuring Vienna La Rouge, SF Boylesque, Wiggy Darlington, The Baron Meatball von Tease, and more Bay Area favorites.

Fri/23, 9pm
$10
DNA Lounge
375 11th St, SF
www.dnalounge.com

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Continue reading "Hot sex events this week: Oct 21-27" »

Posted by Molly Freedenberg at 04:15 PM | | | Comments (0)

By Andrea Nemerson: andrea@mail.altsexcolumn.com. Read more of Andrea's columns here.

Dear Andrea:

I read an article (I think it was in Redbook) that listed six little known erogenous zones or "hot zones." One was big toes, which they said has a direct connection to the genitals. And one was tip of the nose, which they said it is an erotic area because people get stuffy noses sometimes when they have sex. I don't know. Is there really such a thing as an erogenous zone? What would it take for something to be a real erogenous zone? And is it worth learning these to turn my husband on? We have a good sex life, but sometimes it does seem like we just touch the same places the same way all the time.

Love,

Looking

Dear Look:

Well, don't do that. You don't need a list of unlikely or downright unerotic body parts (I have allergies; don't touch it if you don't want to get sneezed on) to inspire you to branch out a little. In the event that you do need such a list, here are some nongenital, sexually responsive spots for your perusal: nipples, necks, ears, armpits, lower backs, inner thighs, backs of knees, feet. Some of these are "erogenous" simply because they are adjacent to more traditionally eroticized areas (by the time someone's got to your inner thigh, it's a pretty good bet he's going to keep going) and/or because the skin there is thin and well-supplied with both blood vessels and nerve-endings. Some do seem to have their own independent set of erotic responses (fingers, toes). And while we're at the toes, some body parts seem to have sex lives all their own, quite divorced from any nearby genitals. Feet have their own admirers and magazines and special party nights at the sex clubs and more than 4.7 million Google hits. They don't need a good address near the genitals to throw a party.

I think I found your article. It's by Judy Dutton, who is, not at all coincidentally, the author of the book Redbook's 500 Sex Tips. I guess I had Redbook filed as a "ladies'" magazine, but on closer examination, it's more Cosmo (Dutton was an editor there too) than McCall's. I found more "Six filthy things men want you to know" and "16 essential sex techniques you've never heard of" and "the top 26 mistakes you're making in bed" articles from Redbook than I could count, though it appears the Redbook editors would have no trouble totting them up. There was even a "Top 40: excerpts from our steamiest sex articles." And in addition to what I think was our article, there were six other Redbook offerings on erogenous or "hot zones."

Continue reading "alt.sex.column: The zone" »

Posted by SFBG at 05:53 PM | | | Comments (0)

By Juliette Tang

A new mint called Linger is being marketed toward women who wish to improve the taste of their natural vaginal secretions. I first heard of Linger mints via Mother Jones, where writer Jen Philips revealed that Lingers have the same chemical composition of a sugary breath mint (and not even a good mint at that, but the cheap trade-show variety). Using a Linger, then, is essentially the equivalent of inserting a petri dish into the vaginal canal in terms of courting a yeast infection, though for women who wish to harvest kombucha by way of their genitalia these mints may have some utility.

Sadly, it's not inconceivable that a female shopper might purchase this product, despite its $7.99 price tag and associated health risks. As a woman, I know that we justify embarrassing purchases in name of feminine modesty (or feminine shame, depending on how you look at it) all the time. The fact that "fish" has become a culturally normalized adjective in reference to the vagina is disturbing enough.

Continue reading "Do you have to let it Linger?" »

Posted by Marke B. at 10:24 AM | | | Comments (1)

By Megan Gordon

The situation at Power Exchange, the San Francisco venerable sex club that has been battling with city officials and their neighbors, hasn’t changed much since we last wrote about it. “We’re bogged down in the mire of bureaucratic red tape. No one’s doing anything but a professional job, but it’s taking forever,” owner Michael Powers said.

If anything, the past few weeks have brought about changes and developments that seem to be slowing things down even further. “Planning just needs to send a letter to the Fire Department saying we’re not prohibited from being in there. The Fire Department is ready to put it in our hands,” Powers said. But Lawrence Badiner, planning inspector who was dealing with the situation, recently handed over responsibilities to fellow inspector Dario Jones. At press time, Jones was not available for comment.

In addition to a shuffling of responsibility within the Planning Department, on Oct. 13, Powers filed for a new building permit that would change the assembly definition from a nightclub to a social hall. When asked why he did this or what it will mean for the business, Powers replied, “The permit is based on Badiner’s interpretation—it’s the closest thing they have to match what our business really is. It’s just a matter of interpretation of language: a nightclub implies there’s activity like amplified music or organized entertainment. We don’t fit under all of those code sections. The idea with a social club is we’re no different than, say, an Elks Lodge.”

Continue reading "Power Exchange plugs along" »

Posted by Steven T. Jones at 03:36 PM | | | Comments (0)

By Juliette Tang

Those who would like to attend Perry Mann's Erotic Exotic Ball (Oct 24 @ Cow Palace) next weekend but who balk at the $79 general admission price tag (i.e. you, me, and everyone we know) have the option of donating blood this Saturday in exchange for a free pass, while supplies last. Organizers are sponsoring a blood drive at Blood Centers of the Pacific's Irwin Center (270 Masonic Ave) from 2 to 9PM on Saturday (Oct 16) and each donor will receive one ticket to the event. If you wish to schedule an appointment to donate blood, you may go to BloodHeroes.com and enter "ExErBall" as your sponsor code. For those who partake in needle play, this means you can have your cake and eat it too.

The Erotic Ball has graced San Francisco with its presence since 1979 and features "live music, top DJs, erotic performers, exotic dancers, wild sideshows and playful interactive fun on multiple stages". If the video above with its clips from previous years' festivities is anything to go by, this entails near limitless opportunities for depravity and an all-around epic night of partying. A pass seems well worth a little blood, a service to the community, and an hour of on a Saturday afternoon.

Posted by Marke B. at 08:20 AM | | | Comments (1)

Compiled by Molly Freedenberg

Artist Laurel Lee hosts a fine art class geared towards women, lesbians, and female-identified people on Saturday.

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>> CSC Film Night: Happy Endings?
CSC presents an intriguing exploration of the Asian massage parlor industry in Providence, Rhode Island.

Wed/14, 7:30pm
$5-$15
Center for Sex and Culture
1519 Mission, SF
www.sexandculture.org

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>> Barbary Coast Burlesque
Wear a costume, wine a prize, and enjoy drink specials while Virginia Suicide hosts this monthly show, featuring Mae Western, Cupcake, Kitty Von Quimm, Balla Fire, and more.

Wed/14, 8pm
$5
Annie's Social Club
917 Folsom, SF
www.anniessocialclub.com

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>> Sensual Chemistry
Beyond Education and The Pleasure Course present this installment of BEing Talks, meant to help you realize your deepest desires.

Thurs/15, 6:45pm
$15
Call for location
(415) 308-9580
www.pleasurecourse.com

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Continue reading "Hot sex events this week: Oct 14-20" »

Posted by Molly Freedenberg at 02:02 PM | | | Comments (0)

By Andrea Nemerson: andrea@mail.altsexcolumn.com. Read more of Andrea's columns here

Dear Andrea:

I guess this is pretty common, but it's not something I have any experience with, so please bear with me.

I have a lot of fantasies about being tied up, humiliated, etc. and often think about them while my girlfriend and I are having sex. I'm sure you know where this is going, but I'd really like it if she did the tying up and humiliating — but I have no idea how I would bring it up or how to talk to her about it. It's not like I even know that much about it myself. Should I just forget about it and stick with fantasies? Is it just a stupid idea?

Love,

Unsure

Dear Sure:

I'll tell you one thing: what with all the "I'm sure you already know" and "I don't know much about it myself" and "Do you think I'm stupid even to think about this? How stupid? Really stupid?", you are showing a certain natural talent for abjection that I'm sure will serve you well in your new career as a bottom.

This is a perennial topic, and in a way it has gotten easier to answer over time — when I started the column, I had to recommend books (can you imagine?) and about three Web sites I happened to know about (and you'd never find without me because Google didn't exist). In another way, though, it's, well, not harder, but more disheartening. A girlfriend who'd never heard anything about bondage and discipline except the phrases "whips and chains" and a few grim episodes of Law and Order in 1997 could conceivably just need a little education and just might jump right in as soon as she knew what you were talking about. A girlfriend who says "I don't know what you're talking about, and also, ew!" in 2009 is probably not going to be running down to the Dungeon Hole Gifte Shoppe for a black latex body-bag and a "Gates of Hell" penis cage in your size anytime soon.

Continue reading "alt.sex.column: Perv 101" »

Posted by SFBG at 05:11 PM | | | Comments (0)

By Mistress Eve Minax, a professional dominatrix, sex educator, and food lover based in SF

If you’ve been following the last sexcipes, you now know how to prepare an eight hour pork spare rib meal with side of rubber gimp, and you also know how to make a hot sexy quicky with a burger and your lover.

Today’s sexcipe will focus on a meal that may not take any longer than the quicky but is so widely appreciated that it begs to be accompanied by a classic scenario from everybody’s favorite person and potential sex symbol, their Mommy. Now, I’m not talking about your actual mother. I’m talking about that feminine archetype who has held your hand when you were sick, spanked you when you peed the bed, and gave up the best cuts of meat to make sure you grow up big and strong. In other words, the maternal figure who cares for you, disciplines you, and also creates some of your initial sexual propensities in life. As a Mommy figure I find bringing my “children” into a primal state of no longer having to worry about who they are and what their place is in society gives me a great opportunity to contain them in that primal space while allowing their sexual fantasies to emerge.

Ingredients:

Truffle Steak

1 pound grass fed velvet steak (you may substitute skirt or bavette, but I prefer velvet)
2 cloves garlic
pinch of truffle salt
crushed black pepper
smidge of olive oil (truffle if you have it)
8-10 shitake mushrooms

Continue reading "Sexcipe: Mommy makes steak" »

Posted by SFBG at 10:59 AM | | | Comments (0)

By Juliette Tang

I do most of my writing in cafes, because any attempt to write at home generally results in watching online videos and taking naps. Given some of the things I write about, the process of writing in public often induces a distracting level of self-consciousness that borders on fear. There's always the mild worry that what I'm working on is 'inappropriate' for public consumption, a worry that's as tiresome as it is shaming. As I furtively write on my laptop, I invent implausible scenarios that almost always result in my being exposed and then humiliated in some convoluted way. What if I'm writing at a cafe and someones child, lurking near my table, sees the engorged human genitalia trumpeting like something 3-D and malevolent from the light of my Google image search? Would I be escorted out by management for being some kind of sex offender? In front of all of Ritual? Why must they sell those tiny cupcakes that attract kids in the first place???

It is not always possible to detect a child's presence. They are small, like bacteria.

My answer came in the form of Wicked Grounds, which opened two weeks ago in SOMA (289 8th St, at Folsom) -- as luck would have it, literally in my backyard. Situated barely a block away from kink havens Madame S, Stormy Leather, and the Citadel, this new, 18+ kinky coffee shop fits into the neighborhood foliage and is, bewilderingly, the only 'adult' cafe in our city.

The quaint and welcoming Wicked Grounds serves pastries, Ritual Coffee, and Red Blossom Tea in a quiet space that is, like many cafes in our city, long, skinny, and adorned with the work of local artists. However, unlike every other cafe in our city, all the artwork in the cafe features naked people. Finally, a place where I can work in peace!

Continue reading "I smell coffee and sex" »

Posted by SFBG at 02:52 PM | | | Comments (0)

By Juliette Tang

I watched Catherine Breillat's Anatomy of Hell (2004) for the first time tonight, initially out of boredom because it was on my "Watch Instantly" Netflix queue, and because I remembered, off-handedly, a remark the Slovenian philosopher Slavoj Zizek made about Breillat at an Authors@Google lecture that I happened to catch on YouTube last year, in which he discussed Violence, his latest book at the time.

The section of the lecture in which Zizek discussed Breillat was, more specifically, on the topic of censorship (at around 34 minutes into the video) and the ways in which censorship relates to what Zizek termed our "rules of discretion". According to Zizek, what we term our "inner life" -- i.e. our sense of personal narrative or interior gospel -- is really just a "zero level ideology", or the misinterpretation of our interiority (a mere discursive formation) as a kind of real, external reality (for those who are interested, Zizek delves into this in much more detail in his latest book First as Tragedy, Then As Farce). Amazingly, to illustrate his point, he chose the metaphor of pornography.

In order to operate in the ways that it intends, porn is absolutely obliged to participate in self-censorship of this "inner life," or a censoring of any real or implied emotional discourse or narrative. Porn censors itself emotionally, or narratively so that it can be free to act explicitly, physically, in ways that narrative would hinder. A trade-off, in the crudest sense, of the emotional world for the sensual world.

As Zizek puts it, with hardcore porn, "You cannot have it both ways. You can see it all but the price you pay is to sabotage emotional involvement. In the sense of having an engaging story and so on so on... In gonzo sex you see a camera man, and the camera man tells to the actors, 'move like that,' and a woman who is being screwed slides to the camera and asks 'am I ok like this' and they make fun... I think this is the high point of censorship. They are afraid of even a minimum of narrative."

Continue reading "On Catherine Breillat's "Anatomy of Hell"" »

Posted by SFBG at 12:36 PM | | | Comments (0)