By Kimberly Chun

"Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination."

- Oscar Wilde

"Money can't buy love, but it improves your bargaining position."

- Christopher Marlowe

"We're buying and selling your history/ How we go about it is no mystery.../ We're s-h-o-p-p-i-n-g, we're shopping."

- Pet Shop Boys

First floor, pets; second floor, housewares; third floor, Marxist groove things. The sartorially impeccable gay blades quoted above certainly knew of what they spoke. And they sneered: Shop till you drop. Whoever dies with the most toys wins. I shop, therefore I am. All true in our weakest, spendiest fashion moments.

But perhaps the catchphrases have it all wrong. Some say shopping is all about the me, me, me and the I, I, I: the way I look clutching this year's multitool accessory, the iPhone - triggering shopper's envy with e-mails signed "Sent from my iPhone" yet wondering how I could have spent $2,000 on eBay for a $600 glorified Swiss Army knife.

At the risk of sounding like a lean, green machine who lives simply (read: stylelessly) and enjoys bragging, " My carbon footprint is much more sweet 'n' petite than your carbon footprint," I'll venture that shopping can be about more than me, myself, and iPods, iPhones, iNeeds, and iWants. It can just as easily be about the us and the we. Hey, it worked for the Wii.

At its best, shopping goes beyond the standard-issue retail fix; it's about getting out, hunting and gathering, picking and pinching, and communing with your fellow foragers far from screens that purport to sub for the real thing. Those beach towels emblazoned with pissed-off white tigers in fields of fire or bald eagles riding space shuttles look tempting on eBay at 3 a.m., when you should be acquiring beauty sleep, but who can tell anything from a piped-in image about thread count, feel, or fiber, or about how downy-kitten soft or itchy-Brillo harsh those rags really are? Online I don't get to finger the merch, squeeze the buns, or get my rocks off playing with objets d'art. Real shoppers know that shopping is inherently tactile and sensuous, frolicsome and gregarious.

That's why I'm both the bane and the boon of many a shop girl and check-out lad, much like my friend Sandy, who, when we shared a house in a small Midwestern college town, probably spent more time hanging out with the woman who owned the nearby jewelry store than with her roomies. She'd sashay down there every other day to try on the latest glittery wares, looking for respite, beauty, and female bonding apart from her straight-A studies, her grungy housemates, and a bearded rocker boyfriend who kept part-wolf mutts and lived in a muddy outpost called the Farm. In the end, when she graduated and prepared to move back to her Kentucky hometown, she was sadder saying good-bye to the jewel peddler than to any of us beer-crazed hoydens or her oblivious man friend.

Shopping is not only about purchasing but also about playing; it's a consumer's theater that usually charges a reasonable admission (apart from the sniffs and icy shoulders you pay for at some high-end designer boutiques). First, there's the atmosphere: the fun of soaking in the homespun, rickety ambiance of Green Apple Books; the art-strewn, zine-riddled, anarchopatchwork air of Needles and Pens; the head-on-a-stick, stuff-'em-all eccentricity of Paxton Gate; or the modishly designed, Marimekko-flavored clutter of Zinc Details. Shopping at my favorite stores is akin to traveling to a little kingdom of fantasy goods.

Then there's the regular funscapade of visiting the desired object of your affections, be it the scruffily adorable shopkeep behind the counter who resembles Heartbreakers-era Richard Hell or that cute suit, those studly earrings, or a thunderously stylin' thermos. Immediate gratification is overrated; instead, contemplate ownership or puzzle over how to fit each item into your fab lifestyle or overstuffed closet. Studying my glazed mien of lust as I drooled over a rhinestone-studded strawberry bracelet, one pal offered her approach to defanging the impulse jag: "Just carry it around the store till you get tired of it. If you still love it when you're ready to leave, you should probably get it. And if you leave without it and keep thinking about it, you really have to get it."

Third, shopping always revolves around the people as well as the product. That's a good part of why I always succumb to the purchasing urge when I visit friends working at music stores: you like them, you want to keep them employed and the store in business, and who cares if you can find that used, lame Eddie Money LP for 30 cents on Amazon? Charismatic store employees will almost always sell. Shopping is how I knew CNET's James Kim, who tragically perished in the Oregon wilderness last year. I didn't know him through journalistic circles; instead I shed a bitter tear for him and his family after remembering his wife, Kati, at her lower Haight boutique, Doe SF, a primo example of a well-curated shop with delectably sweet stuff that reflected its warm and friendly owner's passions and fascinations. Buying baby gifts there instead of at some big box was much more fun because Kati Kim would stop and talk about, for instance, her own shopping experiences at a popular discount chain; for example, once she and James opened a returned training toilet to find that particular item ... used.

It's also one of the reasons why I'm sure Issues, a small Piedmont newsstand and music store co-owned by a KUSF vet, will likely succeed in its off-the-main-drag, below-street-level cranny: the folks who work there grin, engage, and promise to carry your favorite mag. They throw impromptu "we're one month old!" parties. They're building a relationship, and you want to be a part of their gang and hang.

Nothing in this 24-hour home-shopping Net-ocracy can beat the emotional, experiential connection that one can make mano a mano, eyeball to eyeball. I'll continue to dream about my favorite shopping refreshers; you'll continue to dream about yours. One day we'll meet in the aisles, our hands full, and recognize each other - discount shoppers, secret sharers.

Editor's Picks

BEST SWEET ZION

Candy is for kids, but what happens when the kid in all of us, with memories of chasing down the neighborhood ice-cream truck for that 25¢ Big League Chew, can't shake the sweet tooth? We have two choices: grabbing a Chunky at the local mini-mart or heading over to the Candy Store, the often-packed, ultramodern, track-lit Russian Hill confectionery that is our source for Fun Dips and Pop Rocks as well as more sophisticated fare. While the Candy Store offers many retro mainstream candies, its specialties tempt more mature palates: martini shakers filled with green and black olive-shaped chocolates, bell-shaped champagne bubble gummies tasting of sweet muscat wine, marzipan-filled pebbles, candy bra-and-panty sets, and Zotter chocolate bars, in flavors ranging from banana curry to caramelized bacon. Yes, a sampling of any of these delicacies will have even sugar-jaded octogenarians squealing with childish glee.

1507 Vallejo, SF. (415) 921-8000, www.thecandystoresf.com

BEST BAZAAR OF THE BIZARRE

Preserved insects, glowering glass eyes, bizarrely appealing plant species, bottled herbs lined up like potion ingredients - no, you haven't stumbled into Professor Snape's closet at Hogwarts. You're perusing the jumbled shelves at the cabinet of curiosities known as Paxton Gate, a Valencia Street shop that revels in an aura of antiquarianism and stocks "treasures and oddities inspired by the garden and the natural sciences." The assortment of entomological, botanical, and taxidermied delights to be found here isn't just a random mishmash - the presentation displays a knack for drawing beauty from what to many would be grotesque. (Especially tasty: the stuffed mouse kitted up as the Virgin of Guadalupe.) Paxton Gate also offers landscaping and gardening services, for those who wish to impart to their lawns a sense of uniquely stylish adventure.

824 Valencia, SF. (415) 824-1872, www.paxtongate.com

BEST BLOOMIN' DECOR

Picture this: Eliza Doolittle at the start of My Fair Lady as a cockney girl selling flowers. Now picture her after Henry Higgins has had his way and turned her into an elegant, refined woman, presentable to high society, and you'll have an idea of what Rose and Radish has done to the art of floral design - completely redefined it. The hip interior-decor gallery and shop doesn't stop at flowers, however, bringing a lovely avant-garde design sensibility to every aspect of home ornamentation. In fact, it may be hard to see the flowers for the flower shop, what with all the fantastic yet functional gewgaws on display. But blooms are still at the core of Rose and Radish, serving as muse for the premier international designers it commissions for its rotating gallery shows. Take a recent, urban-themed exhibit: one piece featured sleek tables and pots stacked to evoke an industrial landscape, with touches of green plants and white tulips placed just sparingly enough to pop out at you. A practical, visual feast.

460 Gough, SF. (415) 864-4988, www.roseandradish.com

BEST SNEAKERS SO COOL YOU'RE AFRAID TO WEAR THEM

If a sage hasn't said it yet, a hepcat certainly has: "New shoes are balm for the soul." And Huf is a store that soothes like no other. Old-school revival hip-hoppers, bike messengers, and fashionistas of every demographic come to worship at the altar of the sneaker here. Huf somehow manages to score the season's hottest new releases before any other shoe store in the city: serious new-kicks fetishists from all over the globe heed Huf's siren's call of limited-edition coolness. High-top Adidas, Alife, sleek Vans, puffy Vans, artist series, and superretro styles can make even the most standoffish lose their cool. With the overwhelming variety of ready-to-wear street cred lined up on the wall, you'd better arrive on a fixed-gear bike or a skateboard with a big messenger bag to carry your purchases away.

Various locations. www.hufsf.com

BEST ELEGANCE FOR YOUR DELICATE DIGITS

When you're a goth rocker who books a concert at a Slovenian monastery, you're going to need some stunning gauntlets to keep your pale paws warm in that freezing Eastern European climate. Lucky for Marilyn Manson, who recently played such a show on his European tour, there was plenty of protection at hand, thanks to the gloves fashioned for him by local mitts warmer Linda Lorraine. Lorraine has been providing the Bay Area with elegant, utilitarian gloves since the late '80s and has worked with celebs such as Joan Collins, Samuel L. Jackson, and Goldie Hawn. But she's also about the people, not just the stars - having worked with surgeons, therapists, and the Bay Area's Repetitive Strain Injury Support Group, she designs therapeutic gloves and braces for conditions such as carpal tunnel syndrome. She does it on the cheap too (a custom-made glove can run as low as $20), and some can even pay for her services with their health insurance.

2215R Market, Ste. 250, SF. (415) 239-2397, www.glovesbylindalorraine.com

BEST PANGLOBAL EARFUL Clarion Music Center might be the only place in the city where a Celtic bodhran drum, an Australian didgeridoo, and a complete set of Philippine kulintang cymbals coexist under one roof. And these are the more ordinary offerings. Need strings for your erhu or a shaker made of goat hooves? A set of clear quartz singing bowls? How about a six-note pentatonic tongue drum or a case for your pipa? Hard or soft? Established in 1982, the Chinatown institution originally dealt in violins, pianos, and traditional Chinese instruments, but it began to carry more exotic fare as world musicians of varying stripes began swapping their native instruments for items in the store: "my kalimba for your guzheng," for example. Clarion offers lessons in playing many of these instruments and hosts a continuing workshop series that showcases musical traditions from around the world.

816 Sacramento, SF. (415) 391-1317, www.clarionmusic.com

BEST WILDE-STYLE CHILDREN

We're so head over heels about the Minnie Wilde boutique that we couldn't resist picking up the cutest pair of black-and-white, new wave night-nurse, spectator-slingback wedges in the course of our, ahem, research. Face it, you bashful, banged indie angel: few possess as right-on an eye or as puckish an approach as designer Terri Olson and cofounder Ann D'Apice, who launched the Minnie Wilde line and their first store in 2001. Bold, bright Crayola colors and cute-sweet prints, an appreciation for '60s-through-'80s vintage that all the coolios cop to (the Wilde women were some of the first to spur the return of the gaucho), and a knack for knowing when to remain on trend and when to cruise along (haute hippie ponchos and rompers, mais oui; one-shouldered Ts and generic jeans, mais non!) - the Minnies may be small and independent, but they always think big.

3266 21st St., SF. (415) 642-WILD, www.minniewilde.com

BEST SENSIBLE SHOES FOR REBEL FASHIONISTAS

Calling all mutinous trendsetters: tired of the hipster Haight Street shoe stores overflowing with silly sneakers and ridiculous boots? Fans of simple, sensible, and durable shoes (and who could be more rebelliously fashionable than those folks?) are flocking to an unassuming Chinatown hole-in-the-wall to get their kicks fix. Comfort Shoes offers the best selection in town of classic work shoes from blue-collar outfitters such as Carolina, Gorilla, and Dexter. The store carries a few boots, but the bulk of its inventory is devoted to no-nonsense, low-cut Gibson and Oxford factory-floor styles in regular and steel-toed models. If you're feeling the need to look like a crew boss, try on slightly dressier but still robust styles from Red Wings, Clarkes, and Dockers. These are the shoes that will still look and feel great years after those $200 sneakers have been reduced to rags.

614 Broadway, SF. (415) 982-4180

BEST GATHERING OF GLOBAL GAZETTES

Certain British tabloids aren't even worth printing in England, let along exporting to America. But if you crave the latest on Heather Mills and Macca or seek a fresh round of homegrown vitriol directed at Posh and Becks, you'll find it in the comprehensive racks outside the quaint newsstand Smoke Signals in Russian Hill. Thankfully, most of the publications inside are of a higher brow than the Daily Mail or the Sun. There's something for every expat or Europhile: the latest French football scores in L'Equipe, say, or the news from Deutschland in Frankfurter Allgemeine Zeitung, among various other topics in other languages and alphabets. The glossy section is nothing to sneeze into either. It features more automobile rags than you probably knew existed (Eurotuner? Land Rover Enthusiast?) and more one-named design feasts (Swindle, Zink, Flaunt) than probably should. Smoke Signals also sells an array of fine cigars, to be lit while you pretend to decode Le Monde.

2223 Polk, SF. (415) 292-6025

BEST BOUTIQUE FOR ASPIRING CURANDERAS

An aerosol guaranteed to shut the mouths of gossips? Bubble bath to get a big raise from the boss tomorrow? We're pretty sure Safeway doesn't stock these particular items - but Angela's Gift House does, and much more. To the passerby, Angela's may seem like just another retina-dazzling religious bookstore for the city's numerous Catholics. Closer inspection, however, will reveal a few secrets. That shrouded figure in the window is not the Virgin of Guadalupe but the more notorious Santa Muerte (Holy Death), a ubiquitous intercessory presence in Mexico (health, cars, luck, death) despite the church's mixed feelings about where, exactly, she fits into the sacred canon. Also among the displays: pillow powder to reawaken a lover's interest, resin saints and rosaries for devotion and protection, and statuettes of Cantinflas just for fun. You'll find everything you need to wish in the good life lining the walls - all the way back to the mysterious rear door adorned with taxidermied deer hooves.

2824 24th St., SF. (415) 285-6770

BEST BIZ WITH THE FIZZ

Major music store chain Tower may have bitten the dust, but independent hip-hop store Frisco Street Show just opened a third location in Oakland - the other two branches are in South San Francisco and Vallejo - and launched a Web site catering to connoisseurs from Japan to Germany. Big ups, Frisco Street Show! The key to owner William "Showtime" Lassiter's success is diversification: his tiny shops are packed with all manner of clothing and accessories and, most important, his own label's releases. The label takes a positively Jamaican approach, flooding the market with discs whose covers are, on occasion, shockingly amateurish and whose liner notes are nonexistent. Yet this is all to Showtime's glory, as the music is so admirably conceived. Take Explosive Mode III, a group album by San Quinn, Messy Marv, the Jacka, and Husalah that sounds as awesome as its title. Many releases are even packaged with bonus goodies such as DVDs and extra tracks. And as if this weren't enough, Showtime's jumped into the energy-drink game with the pleasantly light blue and fizzy Hunid Racks.

www.friscostreetshow.com

BEST NOUVEAU-RETRO WOW

Ten years ago, the vivacious and sharp-eyed designer Dema Grim left Manhattan for San Francisco, opening Dema to a thunderous chorus of applause from independently minded yet fashionable women from Berkeley to Santa Cruz. Her clothing is a vibrant combination of clean lines, whimsical attitude, and softened psychedelic prints that's made a huge splash; it's hard to find another hip women's clothier these days who hasn't adopted a similar style. The store pops with racks that overflow with vibrant nouveau-retro blazers, shirts, pants, and accessories, but Grim's creations are no mere flighty blasts from the past, suitable only for novelty. Our recent faves - a cerulean and deep gold cotton cross-front summer dress printed with bursting art nouveau flowers and a delicious blue polka-dot kimono blouse with bell sleeves and a contrast belt - spell wow - and now. Grim has said, "I design for myself." The Pavlovian response her inspired, intelligent, '60s-influenced designs induce must mean there's some of her in all of us.

1038 Valencia, SF. (415) 206-0500, www.godemago.com

BEST LITTLE BOOKSTORE THAT COULD

Whenever a new, small, independent bookstore opens amid the arid wastes wrought by Amazon and Borders, it's like a small miracle - you can almost hear a little bell go off in heaven. How on earth could these people be that quixotic, one wonders, as one gratefully peruses the store's collection of impeccably chosen new and used titles, absent the harsh glow of laptop screen and industrial fluorescent. The tiny but lively Bibliohead opened a few years ago on a tome-starved stretch of Gough just as several larger independent San Francisco bookstores were calling it quits. The sheer hubris of this act deserves an award of its own. But Bibliohead also delivers in the old-school charm category, compressing the sprawling antiquarian chic of classics such as Green Apple and Dog-Eared Books (no surprise, since the owners have logged untold work hours at both) into a wee Gutenbergian wonderland. Poetry readings, oddball rarities, a slam-bang graphic novel collection - it's all here. Will it be here for long? We sure hope so.

334 Gough, SF. (415) 621-6772

BEST EAU DE YOU

Did you ever want to bottle your own scent? And no, we don't mean that special combination of armpit sweat, sneaker funk, Tide detergent, and Paul Mitchell styling foam you've been cultivating your whole life. We mean your own honest-to-god perfume, kind of like Britney and J.Lo have, but not so, well, annoying. If so, you're in luck. San Francisco has a fragrance goddess on hand who'll do just that: Yosh Han, founder of Yosh Olfactory Sense. The nationally renowned perfumer offers an ever-growing selection of alcohol-free, specially made scents, and she'll create a custom essence just for you. We lucky Yosh neighbors can also invite the lady herself to host a special smelling sampler, presented alongside wine and chocolate tastings, for our special occasions. Just think of her as the mistress of Eau de You.

3042 Sacramento, SF. (415) 626-5385, www.eaudeyosh.com

BEST GAME GEEKS: THE GATHERING

If the raging mage within is aching to beast some serious mana on a worthy opponent, the people at Cards and Comics Central feel you. What looks like your everyday comics store turns into a wondrous outlet for wizards, titans, and dragons every Friday night during its weekly Magic: The Gathering tournament. If you're more of a new-school kind of playa, Yu-Gi-Oh! Saturdays might be more up your alley. Either way, you'll find plenty of folks into whatever kind of intense, character-driven gaming you dig. You'll also find a worthy selection of manga, collectible figures, and sports cards and an impressive showing of new arrivals on Comic Book Wednesdays. A big heads-up to all the nerd lovers out there: if you must be dragged along somewhere to check out whatever newest installment of some 400-part saga (still without a logical end in sight) came out this week, at least here you'll find enough cute dolls and stuffed animals to keep you busy for a good 20 minutes while your significant other geeks out.

5424 Geary Blvd., SF. (415) 668-3544, www.candccentral.com

BEST BRUSH WITH THE LITERARY UNTOWARD

The country's paperback industry had long been peddling tales of vice, narcotics, and prurient sexuality by 1967, some of them published pseudonymously, the best ones written by folks such as Dashiell Hammett, Raymond Chandler, and Jim Thompson. Then the Summer of Love came along and opened a new wellspring of material (gays, hallucinogenic drugs, cults, swingers) with which to alarm and titillate "decent" folk. Happiness Bastard, The Sensual Sunset Strip, and Copsuckers are some of the juicer '60s selections available at pulp emporium Kayo Books, whose hundreds of other titles range in subject matter from Catholic Guilt (atop the Gay and Lesbian - Rare section, no less) to Sleaze and Hobos and Trains. Whether your kick is sapphic sisters, alien overlords, white-slavery rings, home-brewed aphrodisiac recipes, or grizzled shamuses, you're bound to find an affordable fix (or pick up a few new bad habits) amid Kayo's massive floor-to-ceiling shelves.

814 Post, SF. (415) 749-0554, www.kayobooks.com

BEST MAD SWAG FOR YOUR FAB PAD

Design within Reach might front a catalog full of authorized reproductions of pieces by Charles Eames and Ludwig Mies van der Rohe, but Panhandle mainstay the Other Shop is an eclectic gallery of the real McCoys. Funky-colored plastic housewares, forgotten board games, and Danish Modern furniture are in no short supply at this sunny storefront - and one can find all manner of daring decor and cucumber-cool curios here at relatively bargain prices. Born of a smaller vendor collective once located on Gough Street, the Other Shop functions as a kind of co-op and consignment hybrid. The principal merchants all pay a portion of the rent and cull their treasures from estate sales, auctions, and other, secret sources, sometimes by pooling resources. The shop's stock recently rose when record bins brimming with vinyl from the store's recently evicted neighbor, Open Mind Music, made their way onto the floor.

327 Divisadero, SF. (415) 621-5424

BEST KILIMS, LAPIZ, AND ZERBAGHALIES

The news coming out of Afghanistan seems so dire lately that it's heartening to be able to walk into Afghan Treasures and touch base with some of the wonderful things that ancient, oft-beleaguered country produces. The cozy, colorful, family-owned business near the grittier end of the Civic Center offers an exquisite selection of woven kilims (prayer rugs), intricate lapiz jewelry, wood carvings, traditional wall hangings, pipes, furniture, incense, handmade clothing from Kabul and Ghazni, and musical instruments like zerbaghalies and dutaars from Herat - all at affordable (read: not with the usual stiff markup for imports) prices. Stop by and revel in the heavy reds and bright oaks that abound here. You'll make the nice proprietors happy, you'll probably come home with some primo authentic imported goods, and you'll solve all the problems of the world. Well, at least the first two.

976 Market, SF. (415) 202-0193

BEST SOFTEST BLANKET EVER

Why should babies get all the good stuff? OK, so you can't exactly spend your day rolling around on the floor, having all your needs tended to before you can even think to ask. But you can have a blanket soft enough for a baby's bottom but specially sized just for you! Yeah, we know, we know. You love your fleece. You love your flannel. You love your chenille throw that keeps you cozy while you're watching Weeds reruns. But you only love those sorry excuses for blankets because you haven't curled up with the Softest Blanket Ever, made by local tot ensconcer Baby Jak. The blanket is aptly named, plus it's reversible and satin piped, just like a baby's blanket should be. If you do have kids, you might as well go ahead and buy the tiny tyke version too - you sure as heck don't want to have to share yours.

(415) 558-1529, www.babyjak.com

BEST LET SOMEONE ELSE FIGURE IT OUT

Most of us have a rough idea of how we want other people to see us. But few of us actually care enough about fashion, beauty, and branding to pull off what we intend. That's where Ensemble Personal Image Consulting comes in. The idea is something like having your cool, stylie sister help you dress every day, or maybe like hiring your own personal Rachel Zoe (without the shades of anorexia). Founder Rachel Fauman and her collaborators will help you figure out what image you want to convey - modern professional? mature punk? serial killer? - and then go through your wardrobe. They'll help you decide what to keep, what to pitch, and what to buy. And to top it all off, you can even have 'em shop for you. It's not quite as inexpensive as, say, wearing the same jeans you've been donning since Mr. Mister was cool. But if you're actually doing that, please, please spend the money!

www.ensemble-consulting.com

BEST MR. T

You have the best idea for a T-shirt design that anyone's ever had. But you have no clue how to print it - much less how to print it in such a way that someone would actually want to wear it. Time to call graphic artist Matteo Tacchine of My Trick Pony, which has become a must-shop for creative style mavens. Screen-printing genius Tacchine, who opened the store in 2005, will listen to what you think you want, help you figure out what you really want, and then turn it into a badass, beautiful, one-of-a-kind shirt that'll make all your friends in their generic, oh-so-witty Urban Outfitters crap mighty jealous. The designs at My Trick Pony trend toward the sleek and avant-garde, and they aren't limited to Ts - totes, hoodies, jackets, and more sport Tacchine's silvery, doodlelike motifs. Guest designers, movie nights, and a slew of nifty little parties have cemented the Pony's reputation as the coolest shop in the Castro - to a T.

742 14th St., SF. (415) 861-0595, www.mytrickpony.com

BEST INCENSE TO BANISH EVIL MEMORIES OF INCENSE

When you think of incense, do you get flashbacks to the headache-inducing cheapo nag champa your college roommate used to burn every damn day (to say nothing of the Pink Floyd album he insisted on playing over and over ... and over)? Incense doesn't have to do that to you. In fact, it can be lovely, subtle, celebratory, and even just plain pleasant. For that kind of olfactory delight, there's Asakichi Incense, a Pacific Heights retailer specializing in fine Japanese incense made with natural ingredients. Saussurea, kyara, jin-koh: these are aromas for romance, ceremony, or a quiet night at home with your crossword puzzle. Of course, if you're trying to run everyone with a pair of nostrils out of your house, by all means get some smelly sticks at the local head shop (we recommend "pussy" scented). You might even get the two-migraines-for-the-price-of-one special.

1730 Geary, SF. (415) 921-8292, www.asakichi.com

BEST CUTE GIFTS IN A PINCH

Woot! Birthday bash with complimentary alcohol for a friend of a friend of a friend this weekend, but there's one small hitch: everyone else seems to be bringing a gift for good ol' ... what's-her-name. Seems as though it might be a faux pas to show up empty-handed at a party for someone you're pretty sure you met once at karaoke. But a solution is in sight! Pop into Tutti Frutti, a grown-up toy store of sorts whose amazing selection of wacky gifts and cuddly curiosities - smooshed into a tiny candy-colored space - is sure to provide an answer. There's the plastic gun that shoots little nuns, the talking bottle opener, the ever-popular Wash Your Sins Away (a.k.a. Baptism in a Bottle) ... Sure, in one context it's all cheap novelty flotsam (although there are several yummy pop culture rarities on display for serious collectors), but in another it's an easy way to score guiltless free drinks.

718 Irving, SF. (415) 661-8504

BEST SECONDHAND STORE PROBABLY NOT NAMED FOR A CRUEL AND FREAKY WARTIME NOVEL (BUT SECRETLY WE HOPE IT WAS)

Busty babes of buxom bod rejoice. You too can delight in the joys of thrift shopping without feeling like the last nonbulimic on the block. Painted Bird has a spiffy stock of cute stuff to make you feel like hot stuff - in every shape, size, and psychedelic color combination. While, like us, you might be intrigued by the moniker (what does author Jerzy Kosinski have to do with off-white jersey wool?), you'll be relieved to find that inside there are no ravens in cages or brilliant rainbows painted by frustrated fascist captors. Instead, you can delight in a dazzling display of vintage frocks, shoes, handbags, and sunglasses - and prices that won't make you blanch and run screaming for the nearest Salvation Army outlet. There's a great selection for guys too. And in case your closet gets too full of fabulous finds, there's a buyer on hand daily.

1201A Guerrero, SF. (415) 401-7027, www.paintedbird.org

BEST RETINA SIZZLERS

The latest fabric-printing technology and an insatiable appetite for new and innovative design on the part of the owners have filled Picky, a new boutique in North Beach, with the most eye-popping apparel this side of Rio. Haunting images of human faces are imposed within noisy patterns, streaks of light, and funky shapes on Ts and jackets. Dresses are covered with potato and bell pepper prints. Skintight, trompe l'oeil leggings resemble a pair of unzipped blue jeans. A one-piece woman's swimsuit is covered with an impressionistic drawing of a roaring lion. Yuri Shiller, Lana Trumm, and Ivan Stroganov produce all these designs in-house, and the shop doubles as a photography studio, where they capture the strange images that will soon be printed on polyester or sewn onto skirts. The three see themselves more as artists than designers or businesspeople - clothing, to them, is simply the most appealing way to display their creations.

200 Columbus, SF. (415) 399-0501, www.pickystyle.com

BEST HOT-BLUE DREAMS

We're not going to lie. A hot-blue pair of raw Japanese-style denim thigh-huggers from Self-Edge Jeans on Valencia may break your bank. But hello - yummy. You can probably earn it all back just strutting your new badass bad boys around town if you're crafty enough. Proprietors Kaya Babzani and Demitra Georgopolous have filled their little store to the brim with ultrapremium, lust-inducing brands like Flat Head, Iron Heart, and Nudie that will grip your bottom in all the right ways (and hey, that thinner wallet will help them fit all the better). Sterling silver rivets, custom-chain-stitched hems (thanks to an on-site, recently acquired vintage Union Special chain stitcher), and styles that any rockabilly-loving, Tokyo-dreaming fashionista would kill for make this store a must for every jeanphile on the block. Western shirts by Skulls and Selvedge and punk-tinted accessories complete the look. Forget your neon pink Yamaha; these jeans are real crotch rockets.

714 Valencia, SF. (415) 558-0658, www.selfedge.com

BEST ARCHAEOLOGISTS OF THE ARTISTIC UNKNOWN

For years, Rob Delameter and Gaéton Caron wandered the far corners of the earth searching for and acquiring objects that satisfied their lust for period art by undiscovered masters of the early 20th century - original paintings, ceramics, sculptures, drawings, and glasswork that went beyond mere kitsch and idol worship to tell a more personal story of that period's design aesthetic. The result of their cultural archeology is the Lost Art Salon, a Paris-style gallery that opened in 2005 and displays a plethora of hitherto-unknown works in the art deco, arts and crafts, and early California plein air modes. Edmond Franklin Ward, Celia B. Michelena, Clyde Follett Seavey: you've probably never heard of them, but the Lost Art boys have dusted off these artists' one-of-a-kind period works - as well as those of many similar artists - and are helping to finally bring them some much-deserved recognition by attracting new buyers and collectors to their output. This reclamation of the past can be touching. A show last spring of paintings by Peter Witwer, a young gay artist who was ambushed and shot to death on his way home from the Stud bar in 1968, touched a chord in the community; his work sold out almost immediately.

245 S. Van Ness, Ste. 303, SF. (415) 861-1530, www.lostartca.com