Flash: I won't be throwing out the first pitch today to open the World Series

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Amazing.  Peter Hartlaub nominated me Tuesday (Oct. 26) in his Chronicle pop culture column to throw out the first pitch to open the World Series game in San Francisco. 

In the spirit of  "getting the rest of the country into the swing of things" in San Francisco,  he also nominated actor Sean Penn, Rep. Barbara Lee, and Assemblyman Tom Ammiano. And he suggested Lawrence Ferlinghetti read the national anthem, that Tony Hall sing the national anthem,  that the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence become the new ball dudes, and that a slow-moving  flotilla of Critical Mass kayaks make the other boats late for the game in McCovey Cove.  

Hartlaub had the right approach. "There are definitely advantages to having the rest of the country develop the false impression that your region is filled with nothing but crackpots," he wrote. "It seems to motivate the team. And in a roundabout way the weird looks from the rest of the country help preserve our culture." 

Well,  I'm available and I'm happy to report that I'm actually qualified to toss out the first pitch and get the ball to homeplate.

I was a left-handed pitcher back in my playing days in summer playground and the Junior Legion baseball  in my hometown of  Rock Rapids, Iowa. I had a blazing fastball and a wicked curve and a drop ball that I couldn't control. Nobody ever hit a homerun off of me. 

Alas, I'm sad to report, PG&E opposes my appearance. It's getting late. And I suspect I won't get an invitation. 

I guess I'll soon be off to Blooms or the Connecticut Yankee bars to watch the game and drink Potrero Hill martinis. b3