Bruce Blog

Yoko Ono: Imagine Peace

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By Bruce B. Read more »

Ammiano on the Folsom Street Fair

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Today's Ammianoliner (on the voicemail of Sup. Tom Ammiano):

Folsom Street Fair goes green. Beat me, bore me, biodegrade me.

Friday's Ammianoliner:

George Bush blames gays for global warming. The queenhouse effect.

Personal note to Ammiano: Your Ammianoliners are coming through with more clarity. Keep it up. B3

Urgent: Ammianoliner correction

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Sup. Tom Ammiano called this morning with a critical correction of yesterday's Ammianoliner. (Which can be heard, as attentive Bruce bloggers know, every day on his home voicemail.)

The correction, he reported, is "hung" instead of "hungry."

So, the corrected Ammianoliner liner should read: There are no homosexuals in Iran. Hello. Mary, it gives a whole new meaning to being gay, stoned, and hung.

Tom said that he would buy a new answering machine one of these days, so his Ammianoliners would be more understandable. Thanks, Tom. Keep them coming. B3

Two Ammianoliners

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Yesterday: Norman Hsu demands house arrest so he can wax his floor and launder his money.

Today: There are no homosexuals in Iran. Hello. Mary, it gives a whole new meaning to being gay, stoned, and hung.

(On the voicemail of Sup. Tom Ammiano.) Personal note to Ammiano: Speak up, Tom. It's hard to get your nuances. B3

Ammianoliner: the Ed Jew blues

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Following the Chronicle's front page headline on Friday (Sept. 21) saying that "Feds charge Ed Jew in alleged shakedown, FBI details supervisor's dealings with tapioca drink shop owners,"

Sup. Tom Ammiano's sang the following song, to the tune of "Embraceable You," for today's voice mail Ammianoliner:

Indict me, my sweet indictable Ed Jew

Excite me, my bribable you

Don't be a naughty supervisor

Come to rehab, come to rehab do. B3

Phil Frank memorial service Monday

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Lee Houskeeper (no pesky e) sent out this press release announcing the public memorial service for Phil "Farley" Frank from noon to l p.m. Monday at Washington Square Park (Camp Farley).

If I were writing a story for the Guardian, or most any other newspaper, I would take this release and convert it into a story. I would make sure that Houskeeper's name, as the press guy for the Frank family, would not appear. Read more »

Ammianoliner on the groper

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Arnold Schwarzenegger says marriage is a sacred contract between a man and anyone he can grope.

(On the voicemail of Sup. Tom Ammiano) B3

Boen on SOL

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Up here near the North Pole, we are watching you at night via the live internet pod cast dancing in the afternoon sun in Northern California. Everyone here is much more aware than one might think of everything we do and have done in California. Here they have built the perfect egalitarian society, in California we have not. I just wish more Americans would wake up and read their Bill of Rights and Constitution. It says nothing about the Corporation for which we stand; it is the Republic for which we stand. Read more »

Extra!! Two Ammianoliners today

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By Bruce B. Brugmann

The first Ammianoliner was as usual on his home voicemail:

And the Emmy goes to O.J. Simpson in "Prime Suspect." Did you steal Carol Channing's gown. If it fits, you can't acquit.

Then, the Chronicle's Leah Garchik writes in her Tuesday column:

Before the arrival of the news that Carol Channing's stolen dress had been found, Tom Ammiano called to pin the blame on O.J. Simpson. "If the dress fit/then don't acquit," he said.

Take your pick.

Personal note to Ammiano: Speak up. It's hard to get your one liners without redialing. Read more »

Phil Frank & Throckmorton

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By Bruce B. Brugmann

Carl Nolte, who always likes to stay one step ahead of Guardian scandals, tossed a good one into the hopper
in our back and forth on the life and times of Chronicle cartoonist Phil Frank.

He emailed me that Phil was a "real historian" and that Samuel P. Throckmorton was his "PG&E."

Who in the world is Samuel P. Throckmorton? As attentive Bruce blog readers know, I sent him back an email asking him to identify the peccadilloes and whereabouts of Throckmorton.

Nolte, startled, wrote "You never heard of Throckmorton? Read more »