› andrea@altsexcolumn.com

Dear Andrea:

I am a happily married man (16 years). My wife and I's lives are pretty good. But I have a recurring fantasy about swapping with a couple who are our friends. We flirt and play around (no touching) but we have skinny-dipped, flashed our parts, etc. What I can't figure out is why I want to do more. Thinking about it turns me on a lot. I have spoken to my wife about it in a general way — but never mentioned it to our friends — and she typically just laughs. Read more »

› andrea@altsexcolumn.com

Dear Andrea:

I'm a 36-year-old woman who's been married for nine years. Last year a routine annual exam led to several other tests that led to a diagnosis of early-stage cervical cancer. I had a hysterectomy and will most likely not need any other treatment.

I'm past the initial shock of this, but now there is something I'm wondering about. I have not been tested for human papillomavirus, but I am told that I have it since that's what caused the cervical cancer. Should I be contacting exes to notify them of this? Shou Read more »

› andrea@altsexcolumn.com

Dear Readers:

This is probably the only time the Alt Sex column will cover the same territory as my new venture, a nice, moderately wholesome blog about kiddie consumer culture (www.gogetyourjacket.com). Read more »

› andrea@altsexcolumn.com

Dear Andrea:

I'm confused. Are there any guys out there who aren't at the extremes as far as sex goes? My ex-boyfriend was completely obsessed. Not only did he want it four or more times a day, he'd want to have phone sex at least twice a day when we were apart. I think of myself as a pretty sexual person, but even I have my limits. (Plus, I think phone sex is boring. Read more »

› andrea@altsexcolumn.com

Dear Readers:

I recently received a press release saying,

Although moms appreciate flowers and breakfast-in-bed on their special day, this year Dad should try to spice things up and not be so predictable! Read more »

› andrea@altsexcolumn.com

Dear Readers:

I've had a seemingly endless stream of these beginner S–M questions lately. So while I'm on break, I thought I'd run this one (originally printed 6/13/07), which could have been written in response to several of them. Carry on!

Love, Andrea

Dear Andrea:

I just saw Secretary yesterday, then read your column that mentions the same movie and similar sentiment ["Thwang," 5/30/07]. Read more »

› andrea@altsexcolumn.com

Dear Andrea:

I broke up with my boyfriend when he moved to another city after a short but intense relationship. Since then, we've visited each other regularly and continued having a sexual relationship. I've been fancying/dating/shagging other people for basically the whole time. But now he's started expressing interest in another girl and I'm jealous, though I'm trying not to let him know.

I don't want to get back together. Read more »

› andrea@altsexcolumn.com

Dear Andrea:

Greetings. At the tender age of 12, I discovered my father's porn collection and the joys of masturbation. At 14, I can remember inserting my parents' dildos up my anal cavity. Now I often will look at transsexual or bisexual pornography and enjoy it thoroughly until the point of ejaculation, but afterward I'm somewhat disgusted with myself. Read more »

› andrea@altsexcolumn.com

Dear Andrea:

I have a friend who claims to be asexual. Although women (and occasionally men) have expressed romantic interest in him, he never seems to want to pursue a physical relationship — or any kind of intimate relationship at all. He says he's quite happy, but I'm confused. Doesn't everyone have some level of sexual desire? Or is there really an asexual community out there which is happy to be untouched? What do you know about this?

Love,

A OK?

Dear A OK?:

Oh, lots. Read more »

› andrea@altsexcolumn.com

Dear Readers:

I've written aplenty about testosterone: for instance, the then-new research demonstrating that high testosterone does not make a male a winner as much as winning makes a male's testosterone high; and the current vogue for prescribing T for everything formerly ascribed, with a shrug and a sigh, to "getting older." I've taught a bunch about hormones, describing estrogen — with its touch-and smell-sensitivity enhancing, "receptive" sexuality-producing qualities — as the "fuck me hormone," leavi Read more »