I was halfway through an answer to a reader's very interesting question when said reader wrote back and asked me not to. Instead we're discussing fetishes and how they do or don't mesh well with regular partnered sex. The questioner had done everything a body could do to accommodate the partner's special interests, yet the fetish was proving a more powerful draw than the willing, accommodating live body, and the questioner was wondering if there was really room in the relationship for two humans and an object.Read more »
Have you seen those commercial for the new K-Y product, with all the geysers going off and so on? They're funny, but does the product work — and why? I have orgasms, but not always, Besides, anything that could make it even more fun ...
It's hard to miss those prim little couples with their giant expulsions of boiling fluids. They are pretty funny. But are they accurate?Read more »
My husband and I are in our early 40s. We have been together 15 years and married for nine. We have sex about once a week, which is all we can manage with two little kids, two full time jobs, and everything else.Read more »
This week's letter of greatest interest, a well-composed rant against my supposed blind devotion to Western medicine, ignorance of same, and lack of understanding of the holistic approach to complaints such as hyposexual desire disorder, is really, really long. Here is one of the good parts:
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Dear Andrea: As long as I can remember, I've had a fascination with gyno play and playing doctor. I've grown more and more interested in the idea of cervical dilation/cervical insertions, but have been unable to find any literature on the subject. I understand that any cervical penetration has the possibility of causing cramps and/or other pain, but I am anxious and willing to experiment with this aspect of such play. Any advice?
The U.S. Food and Drug Administration's Reproductive Health Drugs Advisory Committee voted 10 to 1 on June 18 that flibanserin, 100 mg (Girosa; Boehringer Ingelheim), was not significantly better than placebo for hypoactive sexual desire disorder (HSDD). They also voted unanimously that the benefits did not compensate for its adverse effects. (Medscape, June 21)
I'm 41 and finally starting to wonder why sex has never been as big a deal for me as it seems to be for most people. Early on in a relationship it's pretty interesting, but that fades pretty fast (for me, not the guy) and then ... nothing. Am I dysfunctional? Or asexual? Is there a pill for this?
Sadly, no. I'm a big fan of the quick fix and if there were a pill I would be all over that sucker, but there is not.Read more »
Nah, I'm not really going to saddle you with a "clips" column — that would be cheesy. But I do happen to have a bunch of interestingish non-question stuff from my inbox, so bear with me.
First up, an article from The New York Times called "The Perils Of Sexual Roundelays," which is kind of refreshing because, despite the title, it actually pokes some holes in the "ZOMG hooking up and friends with benefits will be the death of love and marriage as we know it" cultural panic usually expressed in articles called "the perils of sexual" whatever. Sort of. The article (www.nytimes.com/2010/05/09/fashion/09Studied.html) describes what may be the first major study of non-monogamous behavior among adults). The study sets out to examine whether what the researchers call "non-serious relationships," (a.k.a. "hooking up") lead to "concurrent partnerships" (hooking up with lots of people, a.k.a. being a big old' slut").
My girlfriend asked me to demonstrate my most unorthodox masturbation techniques, and one of my inventions is the Fly on the Island. Catch a small, lively fly. Carefully remove the wings and put it into a pill bottle. Draw a hot bath and get in.
I was watching a Buffy rerun recently when the trailer for the new movie Splice came on, and I startled myself yelling "No, no, not again!" at the TV. Some misfire-prone synapse or other in my brain had leapt to the conclusion that Splice was another "sew three or more people together" movie. Splice turns out to be just another cautionary tale about not mucking about about with DNA. It' s Human Centipede I'm trying (and failing) to avoid.
If each era gets the horror it deserves, perhaps we have moved on from fear of the monstrosities that lurk, unseen and unsuspected inside us, to fear of the blurring of edges between ourselves everyone else. Human Centipede is a horror movie for the Facebook age.