Andrea Nemerson

Slow man

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Dear Andrea:

My male friend ( I'm a woman) and I have been together on and off for a little over a year. The problem is, it takes him a very long time to ejaculate. He is really turned on but it still takes a long time. Is it me or him?

Love,

Slowpoked

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alt.sex.column: I deserve a buzz

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Dear Andrea:

How is it humanly possible that I, a 42 year old man, talented, accomplished, tall, and fit, cannot get laid to save his life? I have gone out on literally hundreds of dates, but nothing ever seems to go my way. I try not to act desperate, but women seem to smell it on me or something.

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alt.sex.column: Rubber soul

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Dear Andrea:

I have memories from early childhood onward of masturbating. (I'm a woman.) I'm talking when I was four years old or possibly even younger. I remember doing it in public too, like in front of family members.

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alt.sex.column: No sex, please -- we're 40

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Dear Andrea:

I'm 46 and seeking a hetro/bi woman my age who is authentically interested in a sexual relationship. I've heard many middle-aged women openly proclaim that they "don't care about sex." Since then, I've heard similar from many sources, including several female friends and countless craigslist meet-ups where it was volunteered without any prompting. I find this terribly depressing.

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alt.sex.column: The family that plays together

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Dear Andrea:

This summer different members of my family will be going in together on big a beach house. There's just one thing. "Heather" used to be married to my cousin, but after they split up, my cousin moved and Heather is still invited. She also is younger. The problem? I think she's hot.

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alt.sex.column: Dizzy spell

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Dear Andrea:

You've written occasionally about infatuation, but is it really such a bad thing? It has driven even logical, structure-loving me to be romantic and loopy. But isn't it based on genuine attraction? Is it something to be wary of?

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alt.sex.column: Maresy dotes

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Dear Andrea:

It's spring! Even though I live in California, it's exciting when spring comes. I mean literally exciting, as in, it makes me horny. All winter I was like "Eh, dating" and now I'm all like "OMG boys! Lemme at 'em." This happens every year, whether I have a boyfriend or not.

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alt.sex.column: Oh, grow up!

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Dear Andrea:

My really sweet, nice new boyfriend is into S–M and I'm not sure I even understand the attraction. I can get behind the sensation aspect but I have some moral and feminist objections. He insists it's just a way to play, but it doesn't sound like play to me. From what I read, people seem to take it pretty seriously. Plus calling it play ("pain play" "play-dates," "play partners") doesn't really convince me that it's all in good fun. You're going to think this is ridiculous, but honestly all the talk about "play" sounds immature to me. We are 30 and 33 years old! Do we really need to spend our free time "playing"? Convince me.

Love,

All Play And No Work ...

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alt.sex.column: Ti-ming

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Dear Andrea:

My boyfriend and I have been dating for three years and we have always had the same issue. It takes a long time for him to come, whether I am performing oral sex or we are having anal sex. We've talked about it, and I am always trying to understand what I can do to make him come. Since it takes so long, he always ends up finishing off himself. I would like to be the one who makes him come when I give him a blow job, but I don't know what to do. Please help.

Love,

Spectator

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Urethra, frankly

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Dear Andrea:

I have always had an interest in inserting thin objects into my urethra, and now manage a large-diameter pencil. It really feels thrilling, and depending on the mood, I tend to orgasm. My question is: how much can the urethra in a woman stretch? I have also inserted the same into my cervix; are there dangers in either?

Love,

Intrepid Explorer

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