Andrea Nemerson

Ooo, hard

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andrea@mail.altsexcolumn.com

Andrea is on vacation. This column originally ran 5/21/08.

Dear Andrea:

I'm confused. Are there any guys out there who aren't at the extremes as far as sex goes? My ex-boyfriend was completely obsessed. Not only did he want it four-plus times a day, he'd want to have phone sex at least twice a day when we were apart. I think of myself as a pretty sexual person, but even I have my limits. Plus phone sex was boring. I like to masturbate, but it's hard for me to orgasm when I feel the person on the end of the line is waiting. Read more »

Rear window

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andrea@mail.altsexcolumn.com

Dear Andrea:

My lover and I have amazing sex. We love each other dearly too. We've been seeing each other for three years with no decrease in intensity. I'm 45, he's 37, and I've got two kids (who are older, so they cannot be held responsible for the following problem).

A few times lately when we've made love, I have had a small bowel movement. I always have multiple orgasms and there is squirting involved (which he really gets off on), which involves sort of bearing down. This has only happened three times in all, I think. But I'm horrified. Read more »

Wild thing

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Dear Andrea:

I've read your column (and other sex columns) for years, and one thing I always notice you saying is that all fantasies are OK, and fantasizing about something can't hurt anything. But what if you don't think your fantasy is OK? I'm a lesbian, I have a girlfriend, and we have a pretty satisfying sex life. Even so, I'd understand why if I (or my girlfriend) were fantasizing about other women, or about things that we're just not going to do, like S&M (some of our friends are into it but it's not for us) or threesomes. But I'm not. I'm fantasizing about guys! Read more »

Inflatable darling

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andrea@mail.altsexcolumn.com

Dear Andrea:

We were watching Mythbusters and they were using inflatable dolls instead of crash test dummies. That didn't work very well, but it did make me wonder, does anyone ever use those for actual sex?

Love,

Blow Me Down

Dear Blow:

Who knows? Read more »

Nothing ventured

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andrea@mail.altsexcolumn.com

Dear Andrea:

I am straight (?), married 12 years, and have always been faithful to my husband. Before we were together, I had sex with a few boyfriends — nothing crazy. I did used to have fantasies about women, though; like, while trying to have an orgasm, I would think about a woman going down on me instead. Not any particular woman, just a kind of idea of femaleness. But I never did anything about it, or even particularly thought I wanted to.

Now, though, my husband has a lot of business trips, so I'm alone a lot, and lonely. Read more »

Unfriends with benefits

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andrea@mail.altsexcolumn.com

Dear Andrea:

Back in my wild and crazy early 20s, I met a beautiful man through his 17-year- old brother. The brother asked him to buy cigarettes, so without really investigating, I assumed this guy was at least 18. That evening, we hooked up and began a whirlwind romance. A few days later, I received a lecture from the 17-year-old about how I really shouldn't be messing around with his baby brother. Read more »

Am I blue?

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andrea@mail.altsexcolumn.com

Dear Andrea:

The woman I just started seeing likes fooling around for hours with all our clothes on and isn't ready for sex. I like waiting too, except I have a medical condition called varicoceles, which means I have to wear tidy-whities whenever I walk around. Read more »

The one true way

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andrea@mail.altsexcolumn.com

Dear Readers:

WebMD sent out this slightly goofy "10 Amazing Health Benefits of Sex." Among the benefits of "healthy loving in a relationship," according to the article (summaries mine) are:

1. Less stress: Volunteers kept sex diaries and were then subjected to stressful situations. Read more »

A friend indeed

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andrea@mail.altsexcolumn.com

Dear Readers:

I recently resurfaced on Facebook after lying low for a year or so. Participating in social media no longer really feels optional — if you want to see people, that's where they went. I've also been fascinated lately by the way the new media are changing our relationships with our own histories. Never before has it been so easy to reconnect with your past, or so hard to escape it. And friending acts as a great leveler: ex-boyfriend = current book-club pal = your best friend in grade school = your mom. Read more »

If it IS broke, don't fix it

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andrea@mail.altsexcolumn.com

Dear Andrea:

I met this guy ("Dave") a couple of years ago through other friends and we became friends. I think he was attracted to me, but we were both involved in relationships. Then both of us broke up with those other people, but not because of each other. We started running into each other more and hanging out, and got to be very good friends. One night we were kind of drunk and we kissed, and then agreed that we didn't like each other that way. And then we did it again! So after that, we had sex. Read more »