Jonathan Beckhardt

San Francisco Whiskyfest

Tastings and tutorials, served straight up
|
()

PREVIEW There's a reason rich people are so productive: they don't get hangovers. And it's not the unlimited access they have to Tylenol PM–Ambien cocktails that keeps them good the morning after. No, it's the unlimited access to rare and expensive whiskeys. Rich people tell me they can drink near a liquid ton of the handcrafted stuff and still wake up with a fresh-enough head to whip their servants. Yes, it's true. Read more »

Summer splashdown

Hot, hot cocktails for cool city nights
|
()

Ra and I have never gotten along. As the sun god of the Egyptians, he says people should walk sideways with one hand up and the other down. I say people should walk forward, with hands by their sides. He says Jews should be slaves. I say Jews should be rich and powerful. He says door should be spelled soldier-falcon-cat ... Things between us really came to a head over the whole Library of Alexandria fire mess, though. Words were exchanged, perhaps regrettably. Since then he hasn't exactly been overly generous with his golden rays — to me or any other San Franciscan. Read more »

Building the bomb

Explosive local cocktails
|
()

It seems to be a matter of when, not if, another terrorist bomb will go off in the United States. One day we'll come across the headline and let out an anguished "Oh, fuck" — a little later we'll watch a stately funeral in St. Matthew's Cathedral in Washington, DC. After such tragedy, will I ever be able to walk into a bar and order a nifty Irish Car Bomb again? What's the buffer zone of alcoholic irony? Read more »

The JonBenet Ramsey

A vigorous, pounding cocktail
|
()

REVIEW So magical it is to be a six-year-old beauty pageant starlet! Whether it's vomiting backstage at Raven concerts, shooting free speed while having your nipples taped up, or getting "auditioned" on the hood of Tommy's PowerWheel, the list of privileged moments seems to never end. Read more »