L.E. Leone

The fist style

Speak from the gut at Oakland Kajukenbo Kwoon

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le.chicken.farmer@yahoo.com

At the beginning of class, the children of the Oakland Kajukenbo Kwoon circle up and take a knee, with their heads bowed and their little fists pressed into the hardwood.

"I am powerful!" one little voice squeaks.

"I am fierce!" shouts the next.

"I am speedy!"

"I am unstoppable!"

It's so freakin' cool I don't know what to do with myself and have to play with my phone just to keep from crying. They are learning something I wish I'd learned at five: how to have a say in things.Read more »

The badass league

Rookies are welcome at the SF Women's Flag Football League

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This one starts with a dislocated finger, too. In the absence of any trainers or team doctors, not to mention health insurance), Manny the referee had to set it. "How's your pain threshold?" he asked, first.

"High," said Leland Perzanowski, looking off into the distance. Blue sky. Beautiful day, Crocker Amazon.

"You got this," someone said.

Snap, some tape, game goes on ...Read more »

9 innings, 20 years

Our longtime Cheap Eats correspondent makes the switch -- here's L.E. Leone's first Guardian sports column

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le.chicken.farmer@gmail.com

A giant hawk swooped down from the tall trees along the right field line. Against the blazing white San Francisco sky, it seemed all wing span and tiny-headed. And jaggedly, viciously beautiful.

The pickoff play was on.

Greg Snyder, caught completely off guard, dove back to third. Lucky for him, third-baseman Johnny Bartlett was also caught off guard, and the throw glanced off his glove and rolled to the chain link fence in front of the third base dugout, West Sunset Playground.Read more »

Sink and swim

Getting good with yourself -- and diving into My Father's Kitchen

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le.chicken.farmer@gmail.com

CHEAP EATS At first we called her Papa, and then Center. Not only was she the central figure of a particular circle of friends, she was also the center on our football team. Then she and our quarterback split up, which happens — only afterwards it was too hard for poor Center to have her ex's hands all up in her stuff, saying "down" and "set" and so forth (I am speaking metaphorically) so she quit the team, and since then I don't see her as much.

Which sucks, cause I really, really like her.Read more »

Punting for Peru

Faraway loves, a Cajun squeezebox, and huevos rancheros at Olivia's
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le.chicken.farmer@gmail.com

CHEAP EATS First time she touched a football it was a wonky, bouncing punt, and she plucked it up and ran it back 180 yards to the five-yard line. I say 180 yards because there was a lot of zigging and zagging involved. Coach's grillfriend Zeezee is a professional surfer, and ever since that punt return (October), I have had newfound respect for the athleticism of professional surfers. Not to mention which, a bouncing punt is the hardest kind of football to pick up cleanly.

So . . . nice hands!Read more »

Up the game

Dodging death and seeking BBQ on Mission Street

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le.chicken.farmer@gmail.com

CHEAP EATS K-3PO lives right in the neighborhood and claims to have played ping-pong with me in the '90s. He also claims to have photographed my old band, and on this score I believe him.

We write at the same coffee shop. Right now, for example, I'm writing about him and he's sitting across the room from me, either oblivious or not. Who knows?

He doesn't have a cell phone. He has a weekly planner, with a black cover.

"Remember these?" he said, trying to make a dinner plan with me.Read more »

Bowled over

Move over New Orleans -- Front Porch has the best shrimp and grits

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le.chicken.farmer@gmail.com

CHEAP EATS It started when our friend Stringbean texted that their mom and pop were going to New Orleans, where should they tell them to eat? Hedgehog was preparing a long, thorough, annotated email response while I texted back one word: Bacchanal. And then we both looked at each other and started to cry.Read more »

Ride 'em

Real cowboys, tons of bees, and Thai House 530
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le.chicken.farmer@gmail.com

CHEAP EATS "It's amazing how Ohio still exists," said Shawn Shine out of the blue. I think it was in Salt Lake City that an old woman, on her birthday, referred to him and my brother Phenomenon as "a couple of real cowboys" — and this made their day.Read more »

Continuity

Passing on the joys of life -- including Poc-Chuc

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le.chicken.farmer@gmail.com

CHEAP EATS Hoolibloo lives next door, where Elsa the Very Very Old Peruvian Woman used to live. I changed light bulbs for Elsa in the '90s, and reset her clock every time the time changed or the power went out. Or a battery died.Read more »

Quarterback sack

The huge plates at Celia's in San Rafael require a robust offense

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le.chicken.farmer@gmail.com

CHEAP EATS Mz. Grizz is tall and beautiful with a gleam in her eyes that says both I have something funny to add and, if you put a football in her hands, I will knock you over like a freight train hitting bowling pins.

If we played tackle instead of flag football, she would lead the league in yardage and touchdowns, and probably a lot of people would quit. As it is, her area of dominance is the defensive line. And the bowling pins are the opposing team's O line.Read more »