Marke B.

Fortwo foryou

|
(0)

Yes, I'm from Detroit, where the frickin' autoshow was shoved down my throat constantly. (It's so huge now, they're threatening to tear down the host site, Cobo Arena, and build a bigger showplace -- uh, I thought the car companies were as broke as Dennis Rodman's penis up Madonna...) And yes, innumerable Detroiters laughingly forwarded me that piece from the New York Times last week about San Francisco parking rage. (We're killing each other for spaces!). Read more »

Nerd party!

|
(0)

Will there be tape on their mojito glasses? Will everyone be "doin' the snarf"? Read more »

State of the union ...

|
(0)

Posted this morning outside my Dumpster: Plain as day. -- Marke B.

pelosi1.jpg

Call the pedophile police

|
(0)

I just spent an inordinate amount of important mirror time in thrall to 16-year Brit sensation Lil Chris. Somebody shoot me. Winner of some sort of British Idol-like contest progged by Gene Simmons from Kiss, he's like Hanson singing Buzzcocks songs. Read more »

She's a Pakistani tranny, Johnnies

|
(0)

Tranny of the Year (so far): The New York Times just published an article on Ali Saleem, better known to Pakistani prime time viewers as Begum Nawazish Ali, hostess of the wildly popular (at least among more secular Karachi residents) “Late Night Show With Begum Nawazish Ali.” A self-described transvestite who poses as a "flirty, teasing widow" who's obsessed with glamor and subtle political commentary, she somehow gets away with some amazing taboo-breaking she-ite on her weekly talk show Read more »

Holy homo penumbras, Fagman

|
(0)

Somebody call the gay circus -- Rimling Bros and Barndoor Bailey are a-comin' to town. Rainbows! Rainbows! Rainbows!

lamebows1.jpg

It's a whole spectrum of tacky fruit flavor down on 18th Street in the Castro, with the new ... wait for it .... wait for it ... 18th Street Bar. Extra points for the sign's tres delish font. Did they cut the letters out of felt themselves? How many Glue Sticks were used? Read more »

Happy New Yearsh

|
(0)

No nude hippies, please. Girl I'm still hung over three days later. This is what I woke up to on the sidewalk this morning ...

promess1.jpg

If anyone can tell me what I did this weekend, besides lose my cell phone down the toilet at the Transfer, please call this number ...

Rutting madly

Clubbing '07: an ouch behind, a look ahead
|
(0)

superego@sfbg.com

SUPER EGO Oh! Yes! It hurts! Oh yes! It hurts!

My virtual buttocks are on fire.

After my last little column about stuff I'd enjoyed in Clubland over the past year, I got spanked online for downplaying some of the Bay's ongoing nightlife trends. Namely: breakbeats and house revivals, dubstep and kiddie rave, Burning Man, Burning Man, Burning Man. (Isn't he burnt yet? Sheesh. It's like a spiritual tire fire already.) That's fine, baby: hit me one more time. Getting spanked online was my former profession. Read more »

Comedy Tonite!

|
(0)

Intern Aaron Sankin's take on the recent live SF appearance of Michael Ian Black and Michael Showalter, two of the creators of the show Stella

The first time I saw Stella I was instantly enraptured. It was clever, it was funny, and, most of all, it was zany. Zany like the old Marx brothers movies (which, for my money, are the funniest things to have ever been committed to celluloid); zany like the Animaniacs cartoons that entertained me for many a Cheerio-filled Saturday morning. Zany in a way that modern comedy no longer is. Read more »

Ringing it backwards

Suddenly, she was attracted both ways
|
(0)

SUPER EGO Hustlers are like trees — you can usually tell how long they've been around by the number of rings around their eyes. Or how many teeth they have left, if trees had teeth, which they don't, but hey, I'm never one to not stretch a simile to Andromeda and back. They pay me to do it! It's my elastic destiny.
I was counting the rings on a hot tattooed man-product at the bar closest to my heart, Mr. Read more »