2) Screen out stalkers 15 different ways!
3) Blow off iBill collectors 15 different ways!
4) Get telemarketed on several platforms simultaneously
5) Chat with your avatar. ("Hey Marke3! What's up?" "Oh, you know, just being you. Read more »
I used to have a recurring nightmare as a child that I was trapped in the opening credits of Scooby Doo. It was kind of an erotic nightmare: the rainbow-cartoon swamps, the undulating haunted mansions, the moaning ghosts with their morphenomenal yaws. The dream would go on for hours and I'd wake in the rough heat of my hermetic, carpeted bedroom, the gray footsie-bottoms of my PJs scraping against the cotton sheets. Now, alas, Scooby Doo is dead.
OK, OK I know we're beyond the gawker-closet phase ("OMG he's gay???). I ain't no Valley Girl. But -- MEOW. One of my favorite singers ever just stepped gingerly over the shoe-tree threshhold. Read more »
Yes, I'm from Detroit, where the frickin' autoshow was shoved down my throat constantly. (It's so huge now, they're threatening to tear down the host site, Cobo Arena, and build a bigger showplace -- uh, I thought the car companies were as broke as Dennis Rodman's penis up Madonna...) And yes, innumerable Detroiters laughingly forwarded me that piece from the New York Times last week about San Francisco parking rage. (We're killing each other for spaces!). Read more »
I just spent an inordinate amount of important mirror time in thrall to 16-year Brit sensation Lil Chris. Somebody shoot me. Winner of some sort of British Idol-like contest progged by Gene Simmons from Kiss, he's like Hanson singing Buzzcocks songs. Read more »
Tranny of the Year (so far): The New York Times just published an article on Ali Saleem, better known to Pakistani prime time viewers as Begum Nawazish Ali, hostess of the wildly popular (at least among more secular Karachi residents) “Late Night Show With Begum Nawazish Ali.” A self-described transvestite who poses as a "flirty, teasing widow" who's obsessed with glamor and subtle political commentary, she somehow gets away with some amazing taboo-breaking she-ite on her weekly talk show Read more »