Marke B.

Holy homo penumbras, Fagman


Somebody call the gay circus -- Rimling Bros and Barndoor Bailey are a-comin' to town. Rainbows! Rainbows! Rainbows!


It's a whole spectrum of tacky fruit flavor down on 18th Street in the Castro, with the new ... wait for it .... wait for it ... 18th Street Bar. Extra points for the sign's tres delish font. Did they cut the letters out of felt themselves? How many Glue Sticks were used? Read more »

Happy New Yearsh


No nude hippies, please. Girl I'm still hung over three days later. This is what I woke up to on the sidewalk this morning ...


If anyone can tell me what I did this weekend, besides lose my cell phone down the toilet at the Transfer, please call this number ...

Rutting madly

Clubbing '07: an ouch behind, a look ahead

SUPER EGO Oh! Yes! It hurts! Oh yes! It hurts!

My virtual buttocks are on fire.

After my last little column about stuff I'd enjoyed in Clubland over the past year, I got spanked online for downplaying some of the Bay's ongoing nightlife trends. Namely: breakbeats and house revivals, dubstep and kiddie rave, Burning Man, Burning Man, Burning Man. (Isn't he burnt yet? Sheesh. It's like a spiritual tire fire already.) That's fine, baby: hit me one more time. Getting spanked online was my former profession. Read more »

Comedy Tonite!


Intern Aaron Sankin's take on the recent live SF appearance of Michael Ian Black and Michael Showalter, two of the creators of the show Stella

The first time I saw Stella I was instantly enraptured. It was clever, it was funny, and, most of all, it was zany. Zany like the old Marx brothers movies (which, for my money, are the funniest things to have ever been committed to celluloid); zany like the Animaniacs cartoons that entertained me for many a Cheerio-filled Saturday morning. Zany in a way that modern comedy no longer is. Read more »

Ringing it backwards

Suddenly, she was attracted both ways

SUPER EGO Hustlers are like trees — you can usually tell how long they've been around by the number of rings around their eyes. Or how many teeth they have left, if trees had teeth, which they don't, but hey, I'm never one to not stretch a simile to Andromeda and back. They pay me to do it! It's my elastic destiny.
I was counting the rings on a hot tattooed man-product at the bar closest to my heart, Mr. Read more »

Frag the dinfo

Two imaginary islands in the torrent of streaming audio bits
Choices! You've got choices. And you better make them wisely. In cyberspace your tastes define you. It's your space, your tube, your shared pod. You're all your bandwidth allows. Be all you can feed. After that OCD-chosen primary photo, it's all "about me." But hit that select button carefully. Get those lists exactly right. Not too few favorites, not too many — just enough to embrace your current unique user's criteria, to pique his or her browsing interests. You're just one click away from rejection.
Eclecticism is the new aphrodisiac. And yet it's a tightrope. Read more »

Bears in jell-o! Female bears!


OK OK I know we're giving the bears a lot of play lately in the clubs section, but the whole bear nightlife thing is truly a phenomenon. There's all these bear clubs now! Too bad the music lames, in my book -- all kinda hi-nrg circuity, but I guess that's kind of run-off from the whole "we're fat but macho!" thing. (Fact: bears are big girls. That's what I love about them. They're so cute! I've slept with ever so many... Read more »

Snovocaine! Even MORE Holiday drink ideas


From the wobbly pen of Jonathan Beckhardt ...

Batten down the hatches! When it's too dreary to even think of leaving your apartment, curl up with one of these from the Bay Area's mixiest minds.

The Snovocaine
Crack out this variation on the Liquid Cocaine by bartenders Eric Zsolnay of Kuleto's Trattoria and Leon Vitakes of Holas, both in Burlingame, at your next Santa-roast (serves 2):

1 oz Bacardi 151
1 oz Goldshlager
2 oz Gin
2 oz half & half
3/4 oz Jagermeister
1 cup of ice
1/4 lemon squeezed
maraschino cherry juice
3 splashes of soda water

Did someone say "meaty-nog"? Neat-o holiday drinks


Tipsy-minded intern Jonathan Beckhardt pulled together some drink recipes for the season ....

For Jews, the only thing worse than getting so lost in moments of extreme immorality that you start begging Jesus for forgiveness, is drinking eggnog. I asked Rabbi Greenfield about this cultural development in the diaspora. "I have no idea what you're talking about, Jon" said the learned man. I guess, but at the Beckhardt house, there are only two things grandpa cracks out the belt for: checking out gentiles and the aforementioned eggnog sin. Read more »

Crash and burn

Anselm Kiefer's mighty works are far too heavy to dance

To read Stephen Beachy's take on Anselm Kiefer, "All That Heaven and Earth Allow," click here.)

REVIEW You could go into “Anselm Kiefer: Heaven and Earth” looking for a rush of monumental drama and cosmic philosophizing, for German guilt writ large, and for abnormal feats of technical skill. Or you could go in looking, as I did, for laughs.
Well, not laughs exactly, but at least a little humor. Read more »