Marke B.

VeloSwappa

|
()

Our controversial bike-fiend Duncan Davidson on VeloSwap (this Saturday 11/18 at the Concourse)

The VeloSwap PR folks chase the opening zinger “the largest consumer cycling show in the world,” with this dubious enticement: “It is the place to feel the pulse of the cycling community and rub elbows with like minded cyclists.” No doubt said elbows are clad in those weird spandex arm-socks that turn a short sleeve jersey into a long-sleeve. Read more »

Outsourcer

Fat kids, tranny tiaras, and NonStop Bhangra
|
()

superego@sfbg.com
SUPER EGO The best thing about childhood obesity is I can fit in all the clothes now. Dora the Explorerwear, Juicy Couture for Kids, even Mary-Kate and Ashley Teen Look. No door, no path, no avenue is closed to my cheap and whimsical fashion tastes. No "Barfin' BILF" tube top for toddlers can squeeze me out of my juvenile fancies. Thank you, overweight preteens of America! Viva los junk foods!
And so goes the mind. Read more »

SPECIAL: Ghosts of Homoween

Is the gay high holy day still sacred?

|
()

marke@sfbg.com

When I was a little gurl growing up in Detroit, my ma used to spin an enchanting yarn about her downtown All Hallow's Eves as a child in the ’50s. "We'd go out trick-or-treating in the early evening, me and your aunts, in our gypsy dresses pieced together from faded handkerchiefs," she'd intone every year about this time.Read more »

Economy class

Hidden kitchens, Jet, and a wahoo in Oahu
|
()

superego@sfbg.com
SUPER EGO "Please pass the grilled Moroccan spice-rubbed lamb loin," I dewily asked the cute investment banker from Philadelphia on my left.
Me and Hunky Beau were seated under the Saturday stars at Escondida, a "hidden kitchen" — a.k.a. renegade restaurant in someone's home or backyard — deep in the Outer Mission, at a table that also included four hip lady lawyers and a postgrad neurobiologist from UCSF who makes headphones for birds. (Don't ask. Read more »

CLUBS: Hot gay Chilidog

|
()

New fabulous intern Chris Cooney hit up DJ Bearded Lady's new Tuesday night shindig, Chilidog (named after the Guardian's second favorite sex act) at the Transfer in the Castro, and came back covered in buns. Check it out. Read more »

CLUBS: “I’m famous, bitches -- at BOOTIE!"

|
()

Club BOOTIE is a San Francisco club treasure -- as our fabulous young intern Justin Juul was to find out last weekend. Read below of his wondrous adventures with the queens of monthly mash-up nightlife -- even if he didn't cross-dress like I told him to. Hmph. -- Marke B.

eeew2a.jpg
What Justin didn't wear

I have danced exactly five times in my life. Read more »

Weekend clupdate: Sorry Mona!

|
()

I'm a bad clubkid -- I was supposed to pump my girl Monastat's Tuesday Trannyshack island birthday extravaganza, but with all the horridly yummy Mark Foley scandal unfolding, I plum forgot. Sorry Mona -- don't scratch my eyes out! Luckily, I heard it was packed and peeps loved it. Mona rules (she's everywhere these days) -- and you better watch out for her ...

memona2a.jpg

Happy birthday lady!!! Read more »

Sorry I stole your peanut butter, Grandma ...

|
()

but I'm a gay alcoholic pedophile who was molested by a priest when I was 12. On the moon. In pink knickers. With bunnies on them. If I donate $100,000 to your reelection cookie jar, can I have my AIM back? Oh Granny, your firewall's enormous -- but why such big glasses? ... --Marke B.

hastert.jpg
Oooh .. Granny's mad!!!

Escape pods

What, exactly, is "the love"?
|
()

superego@sfbg.com
SUPER EGO Ladies and gentlemen, we are floating in space. Moonlight kisses the city's knockoff gold metallic Fendi slingbacks, the ones with the sparkly diamantine heels, and slides up the back of its dime-store disco-ball dress — a little slap here, a little tickle there — until it reaches the ragged sunburst of hair at the nape of its neck and launches into daylight, where the real party is these days. Read more »

Ku Klux Kuties

|
()

Ok, this may have nothing especially to do with San Francisco particularly -- but what a Halloween treat, courtesy of Martha Stewart herself. My new email buddy DJ Bus Station John has dived into Martha Stewart Living magazine and come up with some fabulously entertaining entertaining tips from the Big Blonde Jailbait. Read more »