Dear Andrea:
I am a woman who really likes socks. Kneesocks, pantyhose, thigh-highs, anything interesting that goes to or above the knee. My husband loves them too. My only problem is that I spend more money on socks than I can afford.

I've noticed that some women are selling used socks on eBay and getting quite good prices. I'd like to try this, but I'm not sure what tacit agreement exists between buyer and seller. How many days would I be expected to wear the socks? Do they expect pictures of me wearing them? What kind of pictures? Anything else?

I know what I'm comfortable doing and what I'm not. I just don't know what these buyers would want from me. It seems unlikely that they would be paying $45 for just a pair of socks, you know? Thanks.

Love,
Pippi

Dear Pip:
You're welcome. Thanks for a truly entertaining question.

I'm not sure where you looked on eBay, but my own searches washed up repeatedly upon the shoals of eBay's "no dirty clothes" policy.

The ads for used socks are often quite obviously and deliberately fetishy (they repeat the words "very well worn" more often than you'd think necessary, for instance) but they inevitably include the rote phrase, "Socks cleaned prior to shipping according to manufacturer's instructions and eBay policies," which I imagine the seller typing in with a resigned sort of sigh. (Many sock sellers post pictures of the socks in their precleaned condition, I notice, especially those sub-specializing in the athletic sock or "stinky" category.) eBay isn't the only auction site out there, of course, nor does its prissy little policy prevent the creative seller from getting certain points across. "Covergirl," for instance, claims to be a nineteen-year-old model and concludes her ad with a promise to consider "all offers and requests." I'll bet she does.

Since the prices people seem to get might keep a girl in socks, but not the really good socks (and you're a girl who appreciates a fine sock), I'm not satisfied with the simple eBay auction for you — surely we can do better. You could post one of those open-ended offers to be available for whatever, like the chippy above, but somehow I don't think "all requests considered" is quite what you had in mind. So how about this: like Covergirl, you place some socks on eBay with the usual suggestive wording ("very well worn," et cetera) along with an even more suggestive profile and an e-mail address. Inquiries receive a return e-mail containing a link to a private Web site with more information about your other products (all of this pseudonymous and aliased up the waz, of course).

Before you do this you have to decide what those services entail, but don't go feeling obligated to conform to any sort of industry standard here. You get what you can command, and you don't want to make a full-time job out of it. Say you'll wear the socks for three days and will include a pic (knees down only if that's what feels comfortable), and don't say or imply that you're willing to entertain any ...