I just spent an inordinate amount of important mirror time in thrall to 16-year Brit sensation Lil Chris. Somebody shoot me. Winner of some sort of British Idol-like contest progged by Gene Simmons from Kiss, he's like Hanson singing Buzzcocks songs. Yes this is enormous sacrilege -- but didn't we know that pop music was spinning in this direction?

His producers are doing everything they can to "sex him up" with all the double entendres and accidental shirt-lifts they can. But he's really just this tiny teenager "rocking out" and clearly pleased to be alive -- something distinctly missing in his female counterparts (let alone Justin ... or even Aaron Carter, where'd he go? Popsicle rehab?) Either that or he's constipated. The vid for "Getting Enough??" is reason alone for me to want to marry him in several, several years. Tiny tiny tiny!